to think childminders should play with their mindees?

[smuggler]

My dd went to a childmindwe briefly a few years ago when she was three years old. She used to come home telling me she'd watched tv all day. I approached the cm about this who said that wasn't true. Dds behaviour alternated between being hyperactive and lethargic which fitted in better with dds version of her day and I switched to a nursery where dd was much happier.

I was at toddler group with my other dd this morning and saw the cm there. She works with her sister and they sat chatting for the entire three hours, only stopping to put the baby's dummy back in if he made a noise. When they were leaving I saw that they had 8 children with them! All of whom had been ignored throughout the group despite a couple having been hitting others and one that cried in the corner for most of it. A mum came in to drop a little girl off and cm made a big fuss of her in front of mum. Within thirty seconds of her leaving the little girl was plonked down crying and cm returned to her conversation, vaguely telling her to go and play every five mins or so.

Aibu to think cm's should play with their mindees and to be cross at this shit treatment of little children whose parents are paying for 'mother-like loving care' and being told what wonderful days they've had?

Of course you should report if you have concerns, for the childrens and parents sake.

Its a huge trust to use a CM as with small children you have no idea what goes on all day and nobody can see. Its not something i could do, i'd have used a nursery instead if needed. At least their are other adults around to see whats going on and the child doesnt need to leave the premises. No tv watching, no housework or shopping, no surfing, no meeting friends and ignoring the children etc. I am sure there are some good minders but for many its purely a way of making money so they dont need to leave their own children.

There are a few at our school, a couple who are fantastic, one that looks blooming miserable all the time and one who seems late every day.

Its the same with any profession - you get good ones and bad ones.

That's how to tell if you've got a really good childminders. Before you hire them, go to local toddler groups and see how they really are with the kids. That'show I wheedled out the rubbish ones and found a fabulous one for my kids (plus she was highly recommended by a very good friend of mine). It surprises me how many of them sit around chatting and having coffee while the kids are hitting other kids or are in tears.

I'd report her. I'd also be tempted to collar the Mum dropping off after and suggest she sends a friend to watch the childminders behaviour after drop off.

Happymummyofone
No shopping/ housework / surfing or TV?

I take my mindees shopping sometimes. I do small supermarket shops - for daily bits a bobs, whilst I'm out and about. I also go to retail parks etc if I need to collect something from Argos for example. I go to hobby craft/ B&M to get resources etc. this is with parents blessing of course, I wouldn't do it if they had a problem.

I do my washing, hang it out, polish, Hoover, sweep and mop, unload the dishwasher! This type of house keeping also goes in in a nursery you know whilst the children are there.

I surf the net on my phone when they sleep/ during quiet time. Or when I'm having a brew whilst they are playing.
I don't get a lunch hour, or indeed any time to myself between 8 and 5 (well 8 if you include my own kids)
I also do paperwork whilst they are here.

And we watch Mr. Tumble everyday.

Children do not need constant entertainment/ interaction. In fact it is better that they learn to play by themselves for short periods. they also need to know the world doesn't revolve around them. Because it doesn't you know.

Nurseries don't give constant attention either.

I disagree that you are paying a childminder for 'mother like care". That is an unfair expectation - wonderful if it happens but completely discretionary on the part of the CM. You are not paying them to neglect your child however - there is a world of difference between being a bit emotionally distant but responsible and not intervening at all in the event of fights, nappy accidents etc because you can't be bothered.

Sounds very poor care

My son's CM was brilliant - did all sorts with him - her own son was a similar age & she treated them the same.

As for your 3yo saying she'd watched TV all day - sounds like she was telling the truth - most very small children are truthful to the point of bluntness

I am not sure actually, when I was working in a nursery we had a huge complaint from a parent whose 3 year ols said she had watched tv all day. In reality, all the children watched snippets of cartoons on the computer that were relevant to our current curriculum topic and we discussed it all afterwards and during, for about an hour in the afternoon. In the morning they had been on a nature ramble and baked shortbread, in the afternoon we were short staffed so needed contained activities and this kept them engaged after nap time before parents started arriving.

when I ran a childminding business the mindees were my top priority.

I didn't do toddler groups as don't like the politics but did soft play/park/rambles/farm/all the crafts you could imagine/ dancing/singing/cooking/gardening.

I was bloody fantastic to be honest. when I had to give up due to issues with my dd I was begged and I mean begged to continue. parents in tears, me in tears.

it was the best time of my life, playing all day with little ones and getting paid for it. fantastic.

I think most of them are like this.

Bodygoingsouth
I detest toddler groups too.
And dislike the politics bitchy clique of the childminder network.

I go to soft play/ farms etc and people think that the children are my own.

nancy that's not a sweeping statement at all, is it?
What's your job? Can I state that every person in the UK who does that job is really crap at it, including yourself.
If you are a SAHM would you be happy at me saying all SAHM s are crap?
What are you basing this nugget of wisdom on? Myself and all the CM's that I personally know do a fab job with lots of love and fun for mindees, 11 or 12 hour days and often for less than nmw.
What a horrible statement.

As for your 3yo saying she'd watched TV all day - sounds like she was telling the truth - most very small children are truthful to the point of bluntness
ime small children often remember the most recent thing they did and will say that's what they've done all day.
If I have a lo till very late and spend the last 10 mins. tidying, they'll often tell mum they have spent all day sat watching tv while I put the toys away! ( very far from the truth!)

yes ALL childminders are crap and ignore the mindees.

ALl teachers hate their kids and are crap, all nurses are neglectful ALL lawyers are thieving blood suckers ( mmm) ALL coppers are bent and ALL politicians are liars.. ok the last one you can have.

MPB yep people though my 4 were my 4 too. used to get comments like oh how do you cope? the older 2 were the same age and looked like twins at 3 and I had a 2 year old and a baby. ( sibling variation approved by Ofstedin case posters start accusing me of over minding) happy days.

Toddler groups are important for socialisation and prepares dcs for school and nursery. CMs don't need to helicopter their mindees, the whole point is for them to interact with their peers.

Spot on MPB!

Not sure of the point of this thread. Some CM's are crap, some nurseries are crap, some parents are crap. Others are utterly brilliant. Some come in between. By all means, if you've seen something that concerns you, then report it, but don't judge all CM's on the basis of it. And please don't fall into the trap of thinking that nurseries are the holy grail of perfect childcare.

Dh found a young boy under 1? in our kitchen last year the CM a few doors down had no clue as to where he was DH picked him up and tried to find out where he came from? I dread to think what could of happened to him if he had wandered in to a different house. I bet his parents had no clue he went 'missing' DH wasnt sure how long he was in our house he had left door open and was sorting bits out upstairs and only came down because of the crying...

HorseToWater not sure I agree with you in that one. as a mum of 4 and a cm for years I can say that nearly all of the worst behaviour was picked up at toddler groups.

small children do not in my view benefit from the free for all environment of these groups, they don't learn to share and play nicely at all while mums have a coffee and ignore.

for 3 onwards yes. younger no??

Oh my goodness Stinky! That's shocking.

What an offensive thread title smuggler. You are talking about one specific case and making a ridiculous generalisation.

There are many wonderful childminders, just as there are many committed teachers, sympathetic GPs, skilled nurses, meticulous solicitors etc. etc. etc. of course there are some people in every profession who are not as good as others, and childminding is no different but your title simply invites people to criticise an entire profession.

Your thread title is horrible, disrespectful and inflammatory.

quite right LittleFish op do you own a nursery by any chance?

Stinky what's your point? yes that's neglect and should be reported. just like any other professions all have bad apples.

pointless story really as it just refers to one person not child minders per se.