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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my DCs do enough activities

61 replies

6tantrumsaday · 19/01/2014 20:53

I was talking to my SIL today and she said that I am not allowing my DCs to do enough activities and it's my own fault for having too many in the house.
So I am throwing it to you guys because I don't really know what's normal.

DSS 1 - football Monday, Friday and Saturday (he plays for the local team and a club) and Scouts Thursday

DSS 2- drama Monday Scouts Thursday computer club Friday and swimming and art club on Saturday

DD - beavers Wednesday swimming Saturday

DS - swimming Saturday

DSS are 11 and chose what they wanted to do. DD is 6 and DS is 3

Apparently my youngest two don't do enough and we are neglecting them because we love DSS more. I think that the youngest two are too little to be doing activities all week. SIL has 2 DCs and they do an activity every day. So who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ThreeBeeOneGee · 19/01/2014 20:55

Mine didn't do much when they were under seven either. Weekly swimming lesson and that was it. I think you have got a good balance for the ages they are. When DSS reach their teens they might naturally reduce the amount they do anyway.

alma123 · 19/01/2014 20:56

It's up to you what you do. My DS is a similar age to your DD and he does one activity per week. That's my choice because he gets homework every night, I work and I also like him to have down time. Some parents fill up every inch of their child's free time - up to them but not for me.

GlitzAndGiggles · 19/01/2014 20:59

It sounds like they do plenty. They're interacting with other children in each activity. Does your sil ever see her kids then if they're so busy?

PumpkinPie2013 · 19/01/2014 21:04

I think that sounds plenty for children of those ages.

A 6 and 3 year old don't need (or probably want) to do loads of activities. I would imagine they'd get exhausted!

They are your children so you know how much/little suits them x

Jinty64 · 19/01/2014 21:09

Ds3 (7) does a sports club and beavers one night a week. He will shortly be starting piano lessons. It's enough.

MajesticWhine · 19/01/2014 21:14

Your Sil is BU. One activity is plenty for younger ones. My 3 year old just does ballet one day a week. She is fairly exhausted by nursery school and they do lots of different activities there, so it's not like she's missing out on anything. Will probably add in swimming lessons when she is 4. They need time to play, chat and have down time.

AllDirections · 19/01/2014 21:15

If DC do an organised activity every day then when do they get to go to the park or play out or go swimming for fun, etc. etc. IMO there needs to be a balance and you sound like you've got it about right OP, especially with the younger DC.

Original poster
6tantrumsaday · 19/01/2014 21:17

Well SILs DCs are 9 and 7 and SIL said that they are fine and they aren't tired, they also do homework every other night.
So do my DCs but the younger ones seem tired by the end of the week anyway.

OP posts:
NoBusinessLikeSnowBusiness · 19/01/2014 21:17

Definitely your sil BU, not to mention rude and interfering.

Needadvice5 · 19/01/2014 21:18

I think that's loads! Possibly too many but if you're happy doing all that running around!

Ds does table tennis on Wednesdays

Dd does horseriding Monday and Thursday

I couldn't commit to anything else!

manicinsomniac · 19/01/2014 21:21

sounds fine to me, it's not like they're doing nothing and just kicking around the house.

I would probably put the younger two into dance or gymnastics as I think rhythm, coordination, flexibility etc are important things to have early on but that's just a personal opinion, many wouldn't care.

Original poster
6tantrumsaday · 19/01/2014 21:33

I share the drop offs with DH and it all seems to work okay though Saturday is a bit manic. We are taking DS to gymnastics during the summer to see how he likes it.But we don't want to push them too young and I strongly believe in making sure DCS know how to swim.

OP posts:
Musicaltheatremum · 19/01/2014 21:43

Sounds fine. Mine never did much apart from swimming which was a pain in the backside. They decided what they wanted to do. Sitting and playing or just talking to them is fine. Mine have both left home now and I miss them terribly so enjoy, their company while you can. I think swimming is important but mine got into clubs 3-4 times a week which was hard work.

starlight1234 · 19/01/2014 21:48

My DS (6) does Beavers and Swimming.

Last term he also did drama club (after school activity)

Before he joined beavers was doing gymnastics...

Sounds like plenty to me..

I have learnt how much my DS loves been at home with mummy..not a bad ting

Foxy800 · 19/01/2014 21:50

Sounds plenty to me. My dd is 7 and her set activities(if you like) are brownies and a dance class. But we also do things together and she has friends over etc. x

goldenlula · 19/01/2014 21:53

Sounds fine to me, I think they need 'down time' at their ages and a three year old doesn't necessarily need any activities as such. Mine are 8, 5 and 2.
Ds1 (8) does swimming on a Tuesday and Cubs on a Friday plus has started football skills on a Wed but that is pay as you go, so if I feel he is tired or whatever he won't go and I don't have to pay for missed sessions.
Ds2 (5) does swimming and Beavers on the same days as ds1 and will do football skills like ds1 when there is a space.
Dd (2) does a baby ballet thing during the day on a Thursday but again that is pay as you go so only go when it suits!

Supercosy · 19/01/2014 21:53

What a silly comment to make to you! It sounds absolutely fine as long as you are happy and they are happy. I don't see why kids should be constantly scheduled into different "activities" all the time! My Dd does a couple of clubs outside school and has tried all sorts of things throughout the years but to be honest she is very busy at school and is pretty shattered by the time she gets home anyway.

MrsOakenshield · 19/01/2014 21:53

gosh, DD is 4 and doesn't do any! She is at nursery 8-6 3 days a week, which I think is enough! I really don't want to have to commit to anything in the days I do have with her, especially the weekend when we do things as a family and see other families members and friends.

Vaguely thinking of gym or ballet, but not enough to actually do anything about it.

Jemimapuddlemuck · 19/01/2014 21:54

Oh blooming heck are three year olds meant to do ACTIVITIES?! Mine goes to preschool in the mornings and when he's not there he plays, or goes for days out. He seems ok! They have the rest of their lives to live by a schedule, why enforce it on them already?

Original poster
6tantrumsaday · 19/01/2014 21:54

Ah well SIL doesn't like having the DCs friends over so I don't think that bothers her too much.

OP posts:
MomentForLife · 19/01/2014 21:56

Sounds fine to me! With school, homework etc when would you get to do things as a family if they did much more?

MegBusset · 19/01/2014 21:58

DS1 (nearly 7) does karate and swimming. I think that's plenty unless he specifically asks to do something else.

DS2 (4) does nothing! He will probably do swimming when he goes into Y1.

They go to childminder three days a week after school so have precious little time at home as it is!

WeddingComingUp · 19/01/2014 22:05

My dc are 5 and 3. They both go to football training from 6-7 on a Friday and have a 30 minute swimming lesson on a Sunday.

We're currently looking for/trying to decide on an activity for a Wednesday evening. On the cards is karate, cubs/scouts or some sort of performing arts/drama/dance club. Dc have asked to do all three but one more thing a week is our limit time-wise ATM so we're still deciding.

Every day must be exhausting for the child and a PITA for the parents.

Original poster
6tantrumsaday · 19/01/2014 22:06

SIL is a SAHM so she does spend time with her DCs and her DCs are very good at some of their activities.
I do find it hard to balance what they already have and I have had to say no to DSS 1 in the past as he wants to be in every football club he can and we have to compromise already (which is why he has finished swimming)
But I mostly asked because I wanted to see what people with 2 or less DCs do because I don't want my DCs to do less just because they have more siblings.

OP posts:
pointythings · 19/01/2014 22:08

Our DDs did nothing but swimming lessons on Saturday and swimming or archery on Sunday until a couple of years ago. We couldn't afford it, and since we both work f/t we couldn't timetable it either.

Now they are 11 and 13 and they have something almost every day of the week - but they can take themselves there and most of it is after school. It's great. They love it. And they don't feel they missed out when they were younger at all.

Your SIL has ishoos.

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