to think my DCs do enough activities

[6tantrumsaday]

I was talking to my SIL today and she said that I am not allowing my DCs to do enough activities and it's my own fault for having too many in the house.
So I am throwing it to you guys because I don't really know what's normal.

DSS 1 - football Monday, Friday and Saturday (he plays for the local team and a club) and Scouts Thursday

DSS 2- drama Monday Scouts Thursday computer club Friday and swimming and art club on Saturday

DD - beavers Wednesday swimming Saturday

DS - swimming Saturday

DSS are 11 and chose what they wanted to do. DD is 6 and DS is 3

Apparently my youngest two don't do enough and we are neglecting them because we love DSS more. I think that the youngest two are too little to be doing activities all week. SIL has 2 DCs and they do an activity every day. So who is being unreasonable?

I think you are being v sensible.
Mine do:

DD1 (nearly 6) Ballet once a week, Rainbows once a week.
DD2 (4) Ballet once a week.

I try to take them swimming after school on Fridays (depending on tiredness, colds etc). DD1 is just about learning to swim but I'm struggling to teach her myself so she is going to do a term or two of lessons and once she can do 10m or so I'll go back to taking them myself.

They love their activities and they also love the evenings when they can just play together. IMO learning how to just 'be' is very important. By Friday they are really tired, we try not to do too much at the weekend, gardening, walks etc but not organised inside stuff.

I'm a teacher and have some children who do so many activities they are too tired to concentrate on their school work! Not sensible!

MrsOak - re the swimming, I agree with you. We don't go swimming with colds - DDs prone to ear infection, it seems common sense to me not to get wet and cold if you are not on top form! I hear my Granny speaking in horrified tones from beyond at the very idea! They used to do swimming lessons but in the spring term last year we missed over half the lessons, so stopped! I have asked 2 different GPs if they advice not swimming with a cold (in light of ear infections), one said no and one said yes!

I think it exacerbated at our pool because the learner pool is also the hydrotherapy pool with hoists etc, and it's like being in a nice warm bath - lovely for when you're bobbing around with a baby, but I do wonder if it's a bit - festering..?

With regards to not being able to keep up at school, Ime children that have an interest outside of school that they spend a lot of time on they tend to also do well in school. I know this is a generalisation and won't be the same for all children, but I don't necessarily buy into the school of thought that says they will be too tired/not cope.

I am lead by my children with regards to how much is too much, and when they do find it tiring I do cut back. Dd2 started school in September and did struggle with two dance classes on a Wednesday so we cut it back to 1. She is now coping much better and after Easter will probably reintroduce the second class.

I have never had any complaints from the school, with regards to being tired and my children do not miss school very often, and never through tiredness! All of my children are reaching targets set by their teachers, which are always beyond the average levels for their ages. They also all get their homework done and in on time.

I don't feel I micro manage my children, I encourage them, but they make the choices at the end of the day.

I agree Sparkly - I think all learning and developing interests is good. Learning needs to be a home-school partnership, or at least happening in both places!
Also even with several activities a week (at one point something most nights for at least one of them) I find they still have plenty of time for games with each other, computer games, CBBC, and playing out with friends in our very quiet road (cul-de-sac)
As I said they are possibly doing slightly less now they need to do homework every night too.

another question - for those who have regular weekend activities, how do you fit it seeing family? Once DD starts school in September, visits to my mum, sister and DD's cousin, MIL and FIL (separately) will all have to be at the weekend (MIL and FIL involve staying away for the whole weekend, not near enough for a day visit). On the one hand if DD has an interest in something of course I would like to encourage it, but at the expense of not seeing family, or really reducing seeing them? That would make me very sad, we don't see all that much of them anyway.

We live with my mother and her husband, so that's not an issue there.

MIL and FIL love at the bottom of the road and yet the dcs rarely see them. That's their choice as much as anything, they walk past my front door to see SIL but very rarely come in. Dd1 will occasionally go down on her own on a Sunday but they aren't that interested. Dh does occasionally take the younger ones in to see them for a little while.

We don't have any other family nearby. Oh, yes we do! My db. He comes over a couple of times a month and stays so gets to see the dc then.

My two are 3 and 4 and do any organised activities. I feel bad now.

They're only little justgirl - just be open to the possibility and that's fine I think

To be fair justgirl DS only started swimming after Christmas and he had been asking for awhile probably because he has seen his siblings do it.

Saturday's aren't too bad because DSS 1 is in football at 8:30am then swimming which finishes at 11:30 for all the DCs. We eat in the cafe DSS 2 goes to art club. I potter around town with the youngest two then we pick up both boys by 3:30.

MrsOak we visit family for an hour on Saturday and sometimes we go on a Sunday afternoon other times we go on Tuesday after school just depending on how the DCs are.

ah, see, that wouldn't work for us - 3 hour round trip to my mum's, 2 hours to my sister's (so we go for the day) and as I said MIL and FIL are overnighters.

I guess with weekend activities where you don't live close to family either you do without the activities or do without seeing family, and at this age I think family is more important. DD isn't an early riser and she has to get up early 3 days a week for nursery, so I don't really want to have to get her up any other day - plenty of time for that when she starts school!