AIBU to sleep train my 7mo baby because of my MH?

[mrsemiliasmyth]

DD2 is 7months old. As a tiny baby she slept well, then the bloodyHV persuaded me she should be waking to feed at night and I like a look started waking her at 4am to feed her. I suffer from PTSD from my first delivery and depression which has recently worsened after DD2's arrival so getting enough sleep was just about keeping me sane.

The past few months her sleep has got worse, and worse and worse, she is more and more miserable and I have been getting close to losing the plot in a big way. I am so tired I can't string a sentence together, my efforts to play with both DC (older DD has learning delays) during the day have now descended into flinging open the doors of the playroom and literally letting them play with anything.

Friday night was bad like so so bad, then last night was worse. I had to cancel work today because I felt sick through tiredness (started back 3 weeks ago). I've done every trick in the book re settling, we've kept her cot next to the bed in the spare room and I sleep in there and we usually end up cosleeping but now she won't even sleep then. Today I just sobbed all over DH, I am meant to writing my PhD thesis - there is so much riding on me getting this work finished before the summer - not just finances (which will become dire once I run out of funding) but also looming career opportunities. My depression and anxiety is getting past the point of being able to cope day to day.

So. I am stressed and massively sleep deprived - bone weary exhaustion.

AIBU to sleep train DD2 - if she is warm, fed, dry and safe in her cot (we have video monitors) to just put her down awake and sit out of sight? What if I wake the whole house every time she wakes up? DD1 still won't sleep through at 3 and this household cannot cope with the little sleep we are currently getting night on night on night, AIBU?

Sorry excuse typos that's wasn't in relation to your post at all.

Sounds like OP is doing something like gradual retreat?

Last night I settled baby without milk at 8.30, 10.15, 12.30 then with milk at 1.30 and 5.30. Miraculously dd1 slept from 12-7 in her own bed and so DH also got a solid block of sleep, I think I had about six hours sleep, with one block of four hours. I feel so much more like me now although obviously is a way to go. Only downside overnight was that I fell asleep feeding baby in the nursery chair at 1.30 (hence why she slept for four hours) and I've a cricked neck now.

This morning all four of us ate breakfast together, then DH went to work and I went for a long long walk with baby in buggy (so she could sleep) and wellies on dd1. Home for lunch and its now nap time. Fresh air really helped all of us even if dd1 did end up falling in a puddle face first.

This difference in both children today is noticeable because they were better rested, less screaming and crying and DD1 has done a jigsaw puzzle and helped carry the food delivery in etc etc. I'm looking up that american book to get an idea of a good routine for dd2 regards milk and food - I never experienced normal weaning with dd1 so I am clueless.

I'll also look up the millpond clinic, thank you. Sleep deprivation is so insidious, I have made momentary lapses of reason when driving and I've left empty pans on the hob, washed clean clothes and folded ans put away dirty ones. Thank you cards from Christmas lie unfinished and there is stuff everywhere making me feel even more defeated.

There is a lot of space between cosleeping and feeding all night and cc! I trained both of mine, very gently, at 6 months. I never left them crying at all, just did gradual retreat. They are 3 and 7mo now and last night both slept 12 hours, ds1 in his bed and ds2 in mine. It doesn't have to be black or white :)

Op I used Andrea grace who is excellent but £300, if you could spare the money.

Good luck x

That's brilliant OP, so pleased to read that update.

The Millpond clinic is expensive but the book isn't, and if you're anything like me you can apply theory very cheerfully when set out in black and white! Comforting in fact, when too tired to think much.

OxfordBags I'm not sure why you think OP is planning CIO. Have you read the thread? She's planning on gradual retreat and lots of consolation and reassurance. So CIO debates are, as others have said, otiose.

Yanbu. You need sleep, 7 months is not too young for sleep training IMO. It is worse for you to be sleep deprived, unable to work and unable to play with your children, than it is for your little girl to learn to put herself to sleep, even if it means a little bit of crying. Good luck.

Oh x post. Well done :)