Expensive activity for one child, can't afford stuff for others

[Nataleejah]

My oldest does go-karting, and it costs an arm and a leg. It feels being very unfair for his brothers, but... Can't really pull a plug on it because he is thriving in there.

Whilst I agree that different ages will have differing amounts spent on them, I think it can still be an issue where you can't afford £500 a year on music lessons for a younger child because you're spending £5k a year supporting an older child's hobby.

It's a heck of a lot of pressure on your 10 year old! How is he going to feel, later on, that his siblings had to make such a lot of sacrifices in order for him to pursue go-karting? How will he feel if he loses interest and wants to give up, after you've sacrificed so much time and money? What if some other kids come along who are better than him and he starts losing?

If you know for sure, that you cannot afford the same for your other two in the future, then YABU and running the risk of a whole lot of resentment and bad feeling as they all grow up :-(

And an awful lot of kids want to be racing drivers? Great if you can afford it!! But not worth it if you can't!

Thank you, Booty It's bloody rare that someone agrees with me

I think the posts people have made about not feeling able to ask to do something, knowing that one's parents are stretched funding siblings' pursuits, are worth bearing in mind, Nat. You need to make sure that your younger boys are able to express their interests, too. That's for the future though.

I used to work in the karting industry. I don't want to sound harsh, but unless you really have megabucks or your ds is exceptionally gifted and can be taught to be media-friendly etc, it is EXCEPTIONALLY unlikely that he will make a career as a driver.
What used to be a sport is now very much a business. With the notable exception of Mr Hamilton, every single British driver who has made it through the ranks in the last 15 years (not just F1 but also rallying, sports cars, dtm, anything in the USA etc) has done so because of their money and/or connections, and not just because of their driving skills. There are loads of excellent drivers out there and the ones that get ahead are the ones with the added advantage. It's one of the reasons why I left the sport. At least the last two British drivers to end up in F1 were nowhere near the best in their karting categories but had the richest dads. Meanwhile I've seen lots of more talented drivers vanish into oblivion, and their parents bankrupt themselves in the pursuit of something that will never happen. Lewis was fortunate enough to have the talent AND be in the right place at the right time (if you don't know the story, feel free to dm me op), but there is very slim chance of that for others.

I'm not saying stop him karting. But I am saying that you need to be aware that it will get more and more expensive, both financially and in terms of what you as a family have to sacrifice. Can he cope with the pressure of that if it all comes to naught? Will there be resentment amongst your dcs if he had all the investment and they perceive him as having failed?

There are plenty of other kinds of motorsport available that are much cheaper and great for fun family activities (again, do dm me if you want some suggestions), so you could always consider being involved in some of those as a family.

What age did your DS start karting? When DS2 reaches that age, will you allow / have the finances to let him start karting, too?

If not, YABU. Your DS2 might be even more talented than DS1.

JohnnyBarthes their time will come for expensive pursuits, if that's what they want to do

How the heck do you know that, Johnny?

Surely the while point of the ops thread is that she won't be doing it for the others.

It would make a pretty poor aibu thread if the OP said "it's great we can afford for ds1 to pursue an expensive hobby. And when the time comes well do it for ds2 and ds3 too" !!

rallytog exactly!

Its not unreasonable to have a hobby but please don't do it thinking he's going to have a career out of it. My DH won two GB titles in karting, wonderful, nice trophies, really. Sure he was faster than Lewis, but he was sponsored from age 6 by McLaren and his Dad had two jobs.

I guess I'm trying to say don't jeopardise your family finances for a hobby that isn't realistically going to take you further.

As rally said, plenty of other motorsports available for a hobbyist that won't ruin you!

This USA business sounds great but nothing in life is free, you'll be paying for it somewhere else believe me!

Ooh, I want to know who your dh is now chandlery!

If the go karting is already leaving you so strapped that you couldn't afford a "normal" activity for the other DC, sounds like you need to knock it on the head or scale it back. I know nothing about go karting but it sounds as though it will only get more expensive, not less, so even leaving aside the issue of activities for the others, doesn't sound like you can realistically afford it for much longer anyway, unless you can do something to improve your financial situation.

rally it was 10 years ago, I'm not sure that credit card is cleared off yet! And he had big sponsors!

Chandlery I am trying to work out who you and your DH are...

My brother raced karts and I didn't, though I did go to a private school a few years after he started. He didn't get into it for a career although he did consider it for a while. Thing is though, I'm the one who works in karting (not driving, can't even drive a car) and DB is working in golf where he uses a lot of transferable skills. My DH also works in karting, he got into it via my family.

I guess if I had been stuck in a school where I was getting bullied because all the money was being spent on karting I'd be a mess but we were very lucky.

What's the reasoning behind summer camp in the USA? Unless you're into dirt/oval karting he's better off in the UK or Italy.

I wondered about the USA thing too, Bipper. I don't know masses about karting but it seems something that's bigger here and on the continent than over in the States.

Chandlery

Are your DH's initials SW?

I was thinking MB, MS or TO but I am assuming short circuit!

JohnnyBarthes, it's big in the USA but less serious and there's lots of different varieties.

Less serious sounds good! I'm very envious of the Finns - they seem to know how to enjoy motorsport.

MN has a lot of posts where people have issues well into adulthood re siblings being treated differently. It is very dilusional to believe that spending lots more on one will not cause any resentment. Tends to be the oldest or the youngest if a large age gap.

If you cant afford music lessons for the younger one, what will you tell them when they ask for a more expensive hobby? That they cant do it because their brother is more important?

I'd love to go to either, I half think karting would have been a lot better off if it hadn't got so associated with the ladder to F1.

Time and money available for activities should be shared as equally as you can, otherwise it's not going to do much other than cause resentment between siblings really is it?

chandlery I am thinking GC or ML?! (sorry, starting to feel like a dog with a bone now - I love blasts from the past!)

Gosh my own MN stalker! No, none of them, proves the point that it gets you nowhere famous

Haha, no stalking, I promise! It does make me sad that so many fantastic drivers get nowhere, while some mediocre moneybags manage to spin multiple seasons in F1 out of daddy's money though.

I'm not stalking either (but if it would make you feel like you had made it in the world of celeb feel free to pretend) I went to school with a lad who had those initials who had a not dissimilar story.

I thought of Mr Chilton when I POAS last year.

Who mentioned Mr Chilton Bipper? [/innocent face/]