to think the statement should be "Mr and Mrs Tindall" and not "Mr and Mrs Mike Tindall"?

[OrlandoWoolf]

"Using Phillips' married name, a Palace spokesperson said in a statement at the time: "Mr and Mrs Mike Tindall are very pleased to announce that Zara Tindall is expecting a baby in the new year."

Talk about losing your identity.

Somethingkindaood - I understood!

No, of course no-one should be forced to do anything! It's hopefully a slow process of people deciding for themselves - I agree these changes always take time.

But I do think all official bodies should stop using that term of address for married women as it perpetuates an attitude which should be long gone. After all, Parliament has just abolished the age-old practice of male succession to the throne, which was a huge change - now we need these more minor, but equally symbolic, practices to disappear too.

I don't view them as different. Neither child has their own name. It's the product of the male line. The boys name is as much the dads as the sisters is. The poster was suggesting that keeping her own name meant she was her own person. She isn't. She's a product of her dad just like her brother.

So Beyoncé appears to be the ultimate woman. Or Madonna. Depending on your era....

Sorry Bettercallsaul1 I was only talking about surnames not both. The first name thing is strange and outdated, we don't get letters addressed to 'Mr And Mrs Oods Husband's full name', and I honestly thought it didn't really happen anymore. Even the bank/mortgage providers/HMRC etc send letters addressed to both of us separately, as in Mr (his first name) XXXXX and MRS (my first name) XXXXX.
It will take a few more generations I think. I was born in the '70's, married in 2001. Had the mindset of taking DH's name, not something I personally am particularly bothered about. I have 2 daughters and a Son though, all under 13.
Will I encourage them all to be less traditional and think it through? Of course I will. As will DH if he knows what's good for him.
I guess it's down to is, whatever our name is to get the next generation thinking...

X post with you

Ok but women have been raising this since I was a kid. M&s not miss etc etc.

I don't in 37 yrs see a bloody change except still like minded women discuss it. Yay. Give it another 37 or more and hey maybe someone will do something....?

So, why hasn't it?

M&s?! How random. Ms.

Deed. Poll. That's all I'm saying...

orangegroves
no need for deed poll
I have two legal names : passport / CRB / bank account
I choose which one I want to use hour by hour
none of that deed poll money making

Well I do see a bloody change. Obviously some people are choosing to to things differently. Some people create a new family name, some men take their wife's name, some children are given the mother's surname, in some families sons take the father's name and daughters take the mother's name.

Sorry, haven't rtft. I cannot stand this. I would absolutely LOATHE to be called by my husband's name in that way, it sounds ridiculous. I'm actually a lesbian so I don't have a husband, I have a wife but anyway.....!!!!!!

Squoosh yeah but it ain't official is it...? And no one appears to know who owns it. I've not seen anyone post who might, organisation etc. this social etiquette is owned somewhere. Otherwise, why hasn't it died off?

I think people care here. They really couldn't give a monkeys in RL.

But referring to someone as Mrs John Smith isn't 'official' either, it's a hangover from a bygone age. For some people traditions, no matter how outmoded, are the most important thing and they will hang on to them come what may. It's not as though being referred to as Mrs John Smith is a world wide tradition, lots of countries have very different naming norms to this one.

Anyway I have no control over other people's names, I only have control over my own identity and the identity of any children I have.

I wonder if same-sex marriage will make more of a difference to naming conventions?

I think it definitely will. Another big thumbs up for gay marriage!

Minnie the way you are posting it sounds as though you think addressing women in this way is some kind of legal requirement and those who don't like it should therefore be petitioning for that to be changed.

It's not official or legal. It's an old fashioned outdated social convention, that some people still use.

People who don't like it express those views and the reasons they hold those views in the hope that people who see no problem with it might start to at least consider why it's not appropriate in the 21st century.

It's not about "getting it changed", it's about persuading people not to do it, and putting forward the idea that maybe, just maybe, the authors of an old fashioned etiquette guide shouldn't be the oracle on how we all interact with each other...,

Maybe I'm unusual but I have no issue with being referred to as Mr & Mrs DH initial & surname. As a feminist I chose to take DH's surname when we married & I was proud to walk down the aisle & be given away by my wonderful dad.
I am a person in my own right and am as proud of my married status & name as I was of my single status. & name. I do belong to my husband as he does to me, I also belong to my children as they do to me, I belong to my parents (without them I wouldn't be here!). I like envelopes/invites that are formally addressed to me its a way of implying unity (I don't understand all the patriarchal conspiracy rubbish, but then I've never felt or been made to feel that I am less than a man because I am female).I have never felt or been treated like a possession and feel sorry for all those that think tying themselves to someone else by name implies that. And just to top it all off I am financially dependent on my husband because we feel that I should be at home while our children are. For the last 10 years I've been a SAHM doing 100% of the housework & child care while DH earned 100% of our income. It's called working together. I have just returned to work in a school (not a teacher) to ensure I have all the school hols with our children. And breathe.

PGTip

Would your husband like a letter addressed to Mrs and M PGTip Surname?

Or would he think that was wrong?

Mrs and Mr PGTip Surname

Orlando it wouldn't bother him in the slightest and has happened in the past.

Why do they need the first name?

What's wrong with Mrs and Mr Surname?

This is the traditionally correct usage. Even if she was a widow she would still be Mrs Mark Phillips. I once addressed an envelope to an elderly aunt as Mrs Joan Smith. She went ballistic as in her day only divorced women were so titled. I checked it out and strictly speaking she was correct. BP will do it by the book

I get that it is "etiquette " and so this is what the Palace would do. I think this particular etiquette is sexist.

Granny 24 - it may be customary, but I don't think that you can really call it "correct". We don't all kowtow to Debrett's and accept the Debrett's answer as fact. It is merely a record of tradition. And we can challenge tradition and use other forms as we choose.

Really?? People actually give a shit about this??

This crap is why I hide the feminist board

Mozzchops this isn't the feminist board... And what do you care about then if not equal rights?