To be infuriated by a lunchtime supervisor's comment to my daughter

[Mumofhree]

My daughter is 4 years old and started school in September.

Every day I lovingly make her a packed lunch with a selection of items so she can choose what she would like to eat that day. Some of it she eats and some of it is eaten after school. They only have a 20 minute window to eat their lunch and they can't eat that fast anyway.

My problem is that a lunchtime supervisor called my daughter a little piggy because she had a lot of lunch. Whilst it was in all likelihood a bit of fun, am I being unreasonable to think that this is the wrong message to be sent to a 4 year old girl? I do not want her thinking that she shouldn't be eating. Women are, after all, allowed to eat food!!

Please let me know what you think!

Yanbu. I suspect that the lunchtime supervisor in question was not blessed with the gift of intelligence. It was a stupid and ill thought out comment.

Complain. What an ignorant and stupid woman that supervisor sounds. I wouldn;t allow name calling among my pupils in drama class...why should we allow adults to name all?

If the OP hadn't said "I give her a choice" nobody would bat an eye at a quarter of a sandwich a small pot of pasta so ffs stop going on about the OP giving her child more than one sandwich....it's FINE. The supervisor was NOT fine. She's going about calling small children PIGGIES while they eat their lunch? I'd call her a lot more than that if this were my child.

But op specifically said part of the lunch gets eaten on the way home; so she knowingly puts far more in the lunchbox than her dd will eat.
It also seems important for the child to have a choice.
It'd be far easier to just bring her a snack when she's being picked up, rather than sending in a full buffet every lunchtime.
The piggy thing was a bloody joke.

fwiw I often put in spare bits of fruit and an extra cheese or yoghurt for my kids to eat straight after school. They are usually starving and dinner isn't til six. If we go to the park after school it just makes sense. And nothing has ever gone manky I would be bloody livid that an adult had called names, and that particular name! YANBU

oh, and mine are long and slender (dcs)

I'm amazed by how little people seem to be putting in their children's lunch. My children are all on the skinny side (9th - 25th centile for weight, 75th - 98th for height) but would be starving given some of the examples here. The op's child's packed lunch is similar to what my kids eat every day. They are 6, 4 and 1.

Today they ate: 2 multigrain wraps (one with hummus, one with soft cheese, quorn ham and cucumber), roasted vegetable cous cous salad, natural yogurt, apple, grapes, breadsticks.

They then ate a ceral bar and raisins mid afternoon, then came home and ate a plate of salmon pasta.

I appreciate that my children have big appetites, but they're very active, and given their low weight I wouldn't limit it. But some of these lunches you're describing have about 200 calories, limited fat and no carbohydrate in them - not adequate for a young child.

YANBU, OP.

Zoe - surely it just depends on what else they eat? My son usually eats a bowl of porridge for breakfast with fruit, nuts and seeds on top at about 8.30am. He then at 3pm has some cream cheese/ houmous dips with veg and breadsticks. Full meal in the evening. There's only about 6 hrs between breakfast and 3pm. Even with no lunch he isn't going to starve! At weekends he will often have a larger cooked lunch at 1pm then nothing until 8pm dinner.
If they only have 20 mins surely something small is more practical

There's also 150-300 calories in a sausage depending in type, about 180 in cheddar cheese. Around 150 in pot of berries/ raw veg

'Sensitive. It's one of those words like spirited.

Flogging I do see where you're coming from but really...what does it matter if she chooses to offer her child two options? It's her child....it's not like she's sticking a multi pack of crisps and four doughnuts in there!

A bit of pasta and a small sandwich...why not? My 5 year old often eats part of her packed lunch in the playground while we wait for her sister who is older...I could look at that and think "Hmm...I won't bother packing that cheese slice and banana in future as she never eats them" but I won't do that as one day she may eat them....

Also..."joke" or not, it's not acceptable. Staff cannot go around calling kids "Piggy"

What wouldn't be acceptable then? "Cow"? "Dog"? "Bitch"? all are offensive...including piggy...if she'd have said "You're a little pig" then that would seem worse...but as it stands piggy is coming from the same place and OP should complain to make sure this woman knows how to behave.

Oops. linerunner. I've spoken about of context now.
What I meant was that you were generous with me after my apology

French farce anyone?

zoe goodness your food bill must be massive!

Sounds like a very nice lunch though...

20 mins for lunch is more than adequate. When I was at school we were forced to sit in silence for up to an hour. Depending on sizevof canteen, classes etc 20 mins might be pretty generous. At my kids school they get 15 mins a sitting. They have 5 sittings to get through. Quick and efficient plus no time for messing. My kids learned pretty quickly to eat up. Anything left over could be eaten after school. My kids come home from school and want food. I don't mind as I know they've been busy learning and playing. During the holidays I struggle to get them to work up an appetite. I know its been a busy and productive day when they ask me to make them my lasagne, spaghetti Bolognese or curry and rice. :o

YourMa your post is all about "my kids" this and "My kids" that....the OP needs help with HER child and what to do about the lunchtime supervisor.

Yay! A packed lunch thread... Lets look forwards to the competitive bitching about how Tarquin has artisan bread rolls with fois gras in his and anything less should be considered child cruelty. ??????

These threads always amaze me.

I'd love to know what some people actually give their children daily, rather than what they claim to or what they've given on an extremely good day several months ago.

Is saying little piggy always derogatory in the UK? Because here (Italy), you can say to a small child who likes his/her food "oh you are a little piggy" in a nice and endearing way. But we might have a different attitude and people generally compliment children with a good appetite.

Francesca it really depends on the circumstances...some people in the UK would find it inoffensive...some wouldn't....I wouldn't like it...I don;t think a lunchtime supervisor has any place calling a child a piggy because she thinks she's got a lot of lunch....many would agree with me...which is why the woman needs telling.

how and why does she eat pasta on the way home? !!

Oh sorry AwfulMaureen. The thread had evolved and I was putting my tuppence worth in. Personally I'd have her fired. No question. She's as guilty as fuckarooney. Anyway... back to me.

Not the same circumstances I know but growing up my DM used to either tell me off for not clearing my plate or call me a little piggy if I did. Every. Single. Bloody. Time. Always said in a tone of mock chastisement but I've never forgotten it. I will NEVER speak to anyone, child or adult, like that.

To the end of y6 DD ate 1/2 ham sandwich plus a tangerine for lunch. Sometimes a Babybel too. She's very sporty and slightly shorter than average. Always amazes me how much other people's kids eat!