To be infuriated by a lunchtime supervisor's comment to my daughter

[Mumofhree]

My daughter is 4 years old and started school in September.

Every day I lovingly make her a packed lunch with a selection of items so she can choose what she would like to eat that day. Some of it she eats and some of it is eaten after school. They only have a 20 minute window to eat their lunch and they can't eat that fast anyway.

My problem is that a lunchtime supervisor called my daughter a little piggy because she had a lot of lunch. Whilst it was in all likelihood a bit of fun, am I being unreasonable to think that this is the wrong message to be sent to a 4 year old girl? I do not want her thinking that she shouldn't be eating. Women are, after all, allowed to eat food!!

Please let me know what you think!

I can imagine my p1 teacher saying that and it being a joke. I can also imagine my p2 teacher and it being a dig.

I'd let this one go, but keep an ear out for DD being unhappy again.

It is a bit of a wrong thing to say to a child, but it would be a bit unkind to the m.m.s to complain, as someone said above it is easy to speak without thinking. I wouldn't give a lot more than the child will eat but it would be ok to give what you mentioned.
P.s I was like that, lovingly preparing a selection of items with a heart shaped sandwich, when dd was in reception, now I harrassedly sling anything I can find in the box and hope she doesn't moan too much.

Thx mumsnetters. You are actually the voice of reason and you have helped me clarify this. I appreciate the time taken to respond. It may sound like an innocent comment or a joke but it is how it resonates. I think I will mention to the school and just say it is not very empowering for young girls to be given this message especially when you hear frightening stories about girls as young as 5 dieting!

You should report the member of staff if they make a comment like that just for her having something to eat then what else could they be making comments about to the kids out of order it could have been a joke but I've known kids and very young kids with eating disorders and we don't need comments like that round children that could potentially make them self conscious about eating x

I am signing off now otherwise I will be looking at messages all night and I have packed lunches to prepare! Thank you again.

Children have different appetites! If I gave my two a sausage, some fruit amd a few cubes of cheese they'd eat their own hand before the end of the school day!! :-D
My just turned 5 yo (little thing) eats a sandwich (2 slices of bread), cheese cubes, a yoghurt, a piece of fruit and a flapjack/pom bears for lunch, and still comes out of school hungry!!

Bring her after school snack with you when you pick her up; it's bizarre sending in enough food for her to have a choice.

TheRealAmanda, I meant the OP was making a joke about the 'lovingly prepared' thing.

I get where the OP is coming from.

Sorry Linerunner

It sounds like a throwaway comment to me. I wouldn't take it seriously & I would try to teach my child to react in the same way.

We are all Pigs in this house where food is concerned.

Better make sure she actually said it though!

TheRealAmanda, my fault for posting out of context. I blame the bloody kindle.

You're very generous.

I make meagre packed lunches though.

My son once went in with a slightly stale nutella sandwich and a digestive biscuit.

Strangely he still loves me.

They only have 20 minutes to eat their lunch? Poor little things.
When I was that age, in fact when I was much, much older than that, I was a very slow eater and there is no way I would have been able to eat my lunch properly in that bit of time. What are they thinking?

how do you lovingly prepare a packed lunch ?

is that the same as looking in the fridge at 9.45 pm to see a hunk of old cheese and I slice of white bread ( out of date) so dash to tesco for lunchables cheesy crap, old bananas and a bottle of water.

It could have been said in an affectionate jokey way. I don't necessarily think she meant any harm.

hmm it's the sort of thing i might say to my own kids. lovingly, though.

Me too vampire. 'Ickle piggy wiggy'

Totally disagree with the majority here. I would take it as a joke. The supervisor was obviously trying to have a laugh with your child. It would be wrong to say it to an older child but she is 4. I think mentioning it to the school is very, very precious. I very often call one of my children a pig because of her love of food. She finds it funny.

I think it probably wasn't meant in the way your daughter has reported it. Is she normally a malicious type of dinner lady, or a friendly lady who makes little jokes with the children. Small children can sometimes misinterpret the tone of what has been said to them and without being there we dont know how it was said. I reckon this was A throw away comment by a dinner lady, that unfortunately is going to mean a black mark against her name.

I think that piglets/little piggies are really cute though. But I also know we can't call children anything other than their name and good girl/boy, for fear of upsetting them.

I think v wrong think to say.

i'm allowed to at least call 2yo ds a piggy because he keeps saying i stink.

ha 'the tale of the malicious dinner lady'.

She was surprised to see such a big packed lunch. Giving your child a choice of what to eat in their lunchbox is a bit weird. I don't think it's fair on people to complain to their managers over any little throwaway comment. Give her a break, and your daughter will need to toughen up a bit (and to learn to eat what she's given without expecting a choice all the time).