To be hurt by a friends AP bashing.......?

[Bulldozers]

My first AIBU post. I think it's an AIBU post, it may just be me getting something off my chest.

So a friend of mine openly says that we all have our own parenting ways that work for our own families. I completely agree. But then is very judgemental of attachment parenting, I think the whole idea actually offends her.

I've just followed my instinct. I knew I would be a bit AP (didn't know it was called this when I was pregnant) in my style as I wanted to co sleep (I'm lazy), use slings (more convenient) and cloth nappies (save a fortune!). My baby is 1 and only a month ago went on the dr sears website for the first time. I didn't decide to follow a particular parenting trend. I don't like the term AP or unconditional parenting either.

She refers to AP parenting as tosh, made up nonsense and airy fairy parenting. I find this upsetting. I don't parent they way I do because I've read I should. I just don't see the harm in feeding my daughter to sleep or cuddling her at night. I actually enjoy it and my DH likes co-sleeping as he would barely see her in the week otherwise.

AIBU to be upset and offended? I should add she has never said these things to me directly.

no parenting style 'trumps' another and there are statistics and research to back up the all.

Gina ford is not 'evil' ffs grow up

AP is not wrong or right it's just what some choose.

do what suits you op and ignore others approach.

every family is different.

ThereAmandaclarke thanks for your correction, I just had to google vorticism and have been trying to work out how a short lived cubism movement in british 20th century society fits in your post!

It was a good comment. I think the criticism often comes from insecurity and as other posters have said, we are isolated and don't often have guidance and falling to parenting models is a way of coping with that insecurity. Some models become trendy and offer parents a sense of community. That community can become cliquey and exclusive..hence criticism.

OP YABU reasonable though, your friend isn't criticizing you. She is simply saying that she thinks AP is a load of tosh. It's' fine. It's good to have discussion and opinion. Just do what you want to do. If you want to be in the AP club, you go for it. Fuck what anyone else says. It's a backlash against harsh parenting and there is nowt wrong with that.

My personal view is that AP is a bit silly, it implies that children need those practices, i.e sling wearing, co sleeping etc in order to form an attachment. They dont. Attachment disorders and issues come from trauma and neglect. Children are resilient and can develop into perfectly well rounded human beings even if they do sleep in a cot , god forbid, alone!!

YANBU, keep doing what you're doing. There will always be someone who wants to have a dig at the way you parent...sounds like you're doing a great job.

I made a gentle joke in response to people trying to ascribe me motivation that is not in fact what I'm motivated by or something I believe. Hardly dismissive I hope. It certainly wasn't intended that way.

"it seems to be working well for us at the moment" is a good summary, yes :)

miaweTheCat yes yes agree.

I dont do anything that would follow AP. I dont cosleep, didnt get on with BF (although i did try with all 3), disposable nappies, used prams and buggies, pureed food (although finger food i suppose could be classed a little like blw).

Just wondering what the label is for mums like me

Only ask because anytime i have been faced with an AP parent and they ask what i do, as i dont have a label, i just say what i do and dont do which could be conceived as saying i think it is tosh.

SummerBlaze just say ' what do you mean what do I do, I follow my babies needs not books or theories' I am baby led not theory led'

Sorry I disappeared. Some great points. Thanks everyone. I initially regretted starting the trend but it's been very interesting.

I realise I ABU especially as it was based on hearsay. I don't even know the context in which the comments were made. I'm not sure why it felt like a personal attack. I suppose insecurity and for some reason I felt embarrassed? I felt the person mentioning the comments felt they were directed at me, even though in hindsight maybe they weren't or maybe they were. Who knows, who cares! Haha!

Craftybuddiest was spot on in her 1st paragraph. The thing is I've not met anyone who does prescribe to a particular style. Maybe I've just never met a hardcore advocate of any parenting style??

Miaowthecat - your point is interesting. You bash judgement but it sounds I like you judge the term babywearing and those that use it?

As stated, I hate labels too but so far I've found that it often isn't the person labelling themselves but the society labelling the person.

I do find myself making excuses. Again I suppose it's insecurity and the worry someone will think that I think my way is better.

Thanks everyone.