To think my toddler is not being 'badly influenced'

[GeneralGist]

In park with MIL at weekend. Toddler DD threw a mini tantrum when we left (was enjoying the swing). Shouted "no wants SWIIIIINGS, NOOOOOOO!" and did that annoying lift her arms above her head, slide through your grip and pool on the floor sobbing thing. Fun.

However, MIL started a discussion on way home along lines of "where has she picked up this behaviour", "do you think it's one of the other children at nursery?"

No. She's a toddler. Testing boundaries, as they do. Apparently DH and DSILs never did this, so it must be nursery (as she was SAHM)

She has actually just called DH at work (!!!) to "discuss it". Lord alive!! DD is pretty well behaved on the whole, gets glowing reports at nursery, says please, thank you and sorry and generally goes to bed without a fuss (she actually apologised for her tantrum herself, of her own accord, once she'd calmed down, bless her!)

I am really not one of those mothers of 'spirited' children who lets them get away with murder BTW!

MIL is wrong, this is normal toddler behaviour and nothing to worry about.

I think she might have blocked out toddler behaviour.

What did your DH say?

She sounds like MY Mil and DH he was obviously "the perfect child" and even more unbelievably the perfect teenager. Never had tantrums/ kept his room tidy/ did housework etc, etc. with bells on!

Yanbu.

And I'm very sorry but I think that's the funniest thing I have ever heard.

Sounds totally normal to me but I'm terrible for questioning myself about things like this. My 3 year old is going through an awful "MINE!!!!!!" stage at the moment and I was terrified that when she started nursery people would think she was a spoilt brat....but she's had glowing reports also.

She has actually just called DH at work (!!!) to "discuss it".

Why is it any of her business? Did your DH set her straight?

My DS had a tantrum at my parent's house that lasted 1.5hours (he was 2 and 3 months at the time) and was full blown kicking, head butting the floor etc.
My parents said I NEVER did that as a child and that there is clearly something wrong with him and I need to take him to the doctors!!
There is NOTHING wrong with my DS except he's a spirited little monkey with determination (cough, stubbornness) like his mother!
Don't worry about it. What did your dh say to his mum??

My mum says things like this. Like I need to 'nip in the bud' the fact that my twins still (at nearly 5) will occasionally poo their pants.

Like it's my fault, for a start, or that I haven't done everything I can to get them to stop??!

Sometimes I think that grandparents forget that little ones are little and sometimes they cannot be controlled to the nth degree. So long as your DH reacted with a sort of 'so what, she's a toddler' attitude I'd just roll my eyes and forget about it.

What is she doing phong your dh?? How meddlesome and bizarre!
Silly bloody woman!

Brilliant your dd sounds lovely btw.

I hope your dh gave her a verbal .

"She has actually just called DH at work (!!!) to "discuss it"."

How did you manage not to tell her to mind her own bloody business, GeneralGist?

She's so bad (your mil that is) you just have to laugh. Big question is how your DH dealt with her and what he said to you.

All kids do this. Rubbish about the nursery. I'm a sahm and my kid did this.

Not all mils undermine their dils and question their parenting choices. I think your dh should ring her back to "discuss" her behaviour!!

yanbu and lol at MIL. my 2 year old has older brothers who taught her to say poo bum when she doesn't like something.... she did it In a very posh shoe shop and in John lewis. she is 2 as well. When she has major strop she screams poo bum mummy. now there is a toddler who's had bad influence, blinking ds, s

och grannies like to think the sun shines out of their GC bum really your toddler sounds like any other toddler and granny sounds a fruit loop tbg I would have laughed a little and said urm she is X age that is what they do, and anyway if it was a choice of swing and home i probably would have kicked and screamed at wanting to stay

I can't believe she called your husband at work!

Does she think the older toddlers at nursery are getting together in sinister little gangs in corners and passing on tips about tantrumming, joyriding and drinking cider in bus shelters to the little ones???

Honestly we just laugh, MIL is sweet but a worrier
I should be flattered she's not blaming me, but the nursery!
DH just told her to chill out.

Oh and snatchoo I've had the 'nip it in the bud' comment from my own mother, when she was refusing her breakfast, as toddlers do!

I do think calling your husband is weird and she really seems to be in your business to uch what did your husband say

Apparently DH and DSILs never did this, so it must be nursery (as she was SAHM)

Ha ha ha ha.

I bet they did and when she takes off her rose coloured glasses she'll remember they did.

I hope DH told her to mind her own business

Toddler: normal.

MIL: very bad behaviour. Totally testing boundaries. Hope your DH told her in no uncertain terms that she does not ever presume to decide to 'discuss' your child's behaviour unless invited to. Where do you think she's picking up this behaviour? Does she go to WI? Rotary Club? Maybe you should think about withdrawing her?

I think your MIL has amnesia - perhaps your dh should call her to discuss it?

She has blocked out the toddler years hasn't she?

I would be well pissed off with the phone call though.

bookroom

No but they mentioned something the other day about sniffing pritt stick!

Very normal behaviour, your MIL is being ridiculous. I hope your DH took a very firm line with her.

Every time my toddler (2.1) throws a tantrum or acts out (recently we've had hitting and biting, fun times) my FIL and MIL will ask 'what's wrong with him?' as in, is he poorly or worse, ask 'why is he doing that?' He's TWO YEARS OLD that is why he is having a tantrum. Stop trying to project adult thought processes on him! They also make little comments about he must have 'picked that up from school' (can't quite grasp that nursery isn't school). There must be some kind of brain chemical that gets activated when you become a grandparent, that makes you totally forget what children are actually like.