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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that Midday Assistants are not utilized or respected as much as they should be?

87 replies

AwfulMaureen · 12/01/2014 22:51

In schools I mean. They are party to ALL of our children's social issues at playtime....which is often the hardest time for some children...I remember when my DD1 was having some issues in her new school and I asked the teacher how she was at playtime...the teacher said she'd try to find out!

She did bless her....but it made me see...the playtime assistants see all of it don't they? We have no contact with them...they don't get paid enough to be worrying about being hassled by anxious parents I know...but maybe they should be paid more and also be able to chat to parents about the kids' social development when some have issues...getting left out or bullied for instance...these things happen all the time don't they?

OP posts:
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 12/01/2014 23:29

I'm not down playing the role.

But I don't think a midday supervisor could give me answers.

Let say your son is always alone at lunch times and he is a real fussy eater. I would say have you read his file, do you understand autism and what steps could you take with him.

WorraLiberty · 12/01/2014 23:36

Lots of kids come home saying there's no-one to play with.

Sometimes there really isn't and sometimes there is but they're not the kids they want to play with.

It's a social minefield really but not something I think a couple of midday supervisors...supervising hundreds of kids can necessarily get into.

If kids have no-one to play with, you should suggest the 'buddy system' that thousands of schools go with...it's great and makes the kids feel included.

In case you're not familiar with it...there are 'buddy stop signs' at certain points in the playground. Kids can stand there and appointed 'buddies' will come and get them...and then include them in certain activities and games.

The activities/games are taught to the buddies by the staff. It works well in so many schools.

Fairenuff · 12/01/2014 23:37

Fairenuff you said *They should not be speaking directly to parents"

Why? Hmm they're good enough to help the children mix, play and learn social skills.

I wasn't suggesting that they aren't good enough to speak to parents. Quite the opposite in fact. I have been a lunchtime supervisor myself and am now a TA.

Our lunchtime staff are amazing. They show the care and kindness that you are talking about and they really enjoy being with the children, that is very clear.

However, in school, there are very clearly defined roles. This is to make sure that each person knows where their responsibility ends. Training that is provided is appropriate to the role.

It would not be appropriate for lunchtime supervisors to speak directly with parents. If the parent has a concern, they should speak with the child's teacher. The teacher will pass on any relevant information to the lunchtime supervisor and will possibly ask for feedback which they can then relay to the parent.

It sounds long winded, I agree, but it is the best policy in such an environment. Everyone understand their role. As a TA I very rarely speak directly with parents. If they have a concern, I refer them to the teacher who will then direct me as appropriate.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 12/01/2014 23:37

nerf I'm not sure what I'm suggesting really...but yes, probably more training.

It comes to mind that when people suggest they might homeschool, one of the main reasons the majority think it's a bad idea is the idea of "socialisation" that happens in schools...yet so much of this is in the playground...and with "helpers" who aren't trained to assist properly....I know a lot goes on in the classroom of course but playtime is an important part of the day too.

OP posts:
Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 12/01/2014 23:39

Fairenuff do the teachers really pass that stuff on then?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/01/2014 23:39

Exactly what Fairenuff said.

It sounds long winded when you type it out, but when put into practice it actually isn't.

Lairyfights · 12/01/2014 23:39

I don't agree. As a primary teacher I'd find it really inappropriate for the midday supervisors to comment to parents on perceived behaviours and social development. Mainly because, and I'm sure this isn't the case for every midday supervisor out there and I don't want to offend anyone, but they aren't qualified to do that. It would basically be just their opinion and views, which I don't think would benefit any one - especially an anxious parent! They report back to the teachers if there have been any issues at play and lunches and then it is up to us to deal with any situations that arise from it.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 12/01/2014 23:39

Worra yes I know all about the buddy systems etc...they can be very good. My Dd is fine now...it was just settling in issues really...

OP posts:
5HundredUsernamesLater · 12/01/2014 23:40

We don't have dinner ladies. We have teaching assistants that choose to work at lunchtime. They have the same training and are on the same pay as the teaching assistants that work in the classrooms but just work different hours. Any concerns they have about a child would always be discussed with the child's teacher and then the teacher would decide how to tackle the issue.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 12/01/2014 23:40

Lairy so the teachers do talk to the assistants then? If there are issues?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/01/2014 23:41

Of course the teachers pass on relevant information.

If a child/parent expresss a legitimate concern about anything that happens in the playground, the teacher will pass that on to the relevant assistant.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 12/01/2014 23:42

Do you work in a school too Worra?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/01/2014 23:46

No Maureen but due to the dodgy age gaps of my 3 kids, I've been a Primary School parent for 19 years (DC aged 22, 14 and 11) ...and I'm also chair of governors at the school.

So being both a long term parent and a governor has enabled me to see these things from both sides.

I have to stress though that sometimes parent's concerns and how they're dealt with, vary massively from school to school.

Nerfmother · 12/01/2014 23:47

Totally agree about more training. Would be great. Think it's probably best to have one main port of call for comments though.

Fairenuff · 12/01/2014 23:48

Fairenuff do the teachers really pass that stuff on then?

Yes, if it is relevant. It's on a 'need to know' basis. So if a child is hitting because her parents are going through an acrimonious divorce, or something, all the lunchtime supervisor needs to know is what the procedure is to help the child. They don't need to know the ins and outs of the family's private business and they don't need to be talking to parents about it.

In your situation, if you told the teacher that your child was struggling to find someone to play with at lunchtime, the supervisor would be told what the teacher proposed to do about it. If there was a problem, they would let the teacher know so that he/she could try another strategy.

one of the main reasons the majority think it's a bad idea is the idea of "socialisation" that happens in schools...yet so much of this is in the playground...and with "helpers" who aren't trained to assist properly....

Our lunchtime supervisors are trained well. This is key, I think, to helping lunchtime run smoothly.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 12/01/2014 23:48

Being a governor is not quite the same as being a midday assistant or a teacher though is it? Grin

OP posts:
BackforGood · 13/01/2014 00:11

worra and fairenuff are talking a lot of sense.

BackforGood · 13/01/2014 00:13

Both at my dd's school when they had a man working thee and at one of the schools I taught at when a Dad got a job the, all the dcs used the phrase "the man dinner lady" (grin).

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 13/01/2014 00:19

Lol!

OP posts:
godzuki · 13/01/2014 00:26

My (large rugby-playing) DH is a midday assistant and frequently gets called "Miss" in the playground by children who are still getting used to him being there.

MammaTJ · 13/01/2014 08:06

My DD had an issue at school last week, she was hurt by a jigger girl (ongoing issues) and the lunchtime supervisor saw it! The TA in her class saw it! I spoke to the teacher at the end of the day and she told my DD off for not telling her!

As far as an 8 year old is concerned, she told an adult, they should communicate more efficiently!

MammaTJ · 13/01/2014 08:06

Bigger, not jigger!

HereIsMee · 13/01/2014 08:32

I'm quiet grateful for them when DS was at school. My DS had lots of problems which I'm sure would be dismissed if I didn't get on-going feedback from them and my young neighbours.

DS was really struggling on the big playground in year one, I was heart broken to find DS in a corner most lunch times waiting for the lunch time club to open. When he moved schools we had an incident that seemed straight forward but later I had feedback from them that was completely different from the teachers version and closer to DS's version. We HE'd after and it sorted things out,

dreamingofsun · 13/01/2014 08:39

i disagree too. My now ex SIL was one of these and she is dim. I'm sure lots of assistants are very bright, but she isn't. i don't agree with her parenting skills and her educational skills are limited.

i would want communication via the teacher.

everlong · 13/01/2014 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.