My DH NEVER EVER ever, ever, ever put ANYTHING away!!! More of a WWYD than a AIBU.

[mameulah]

Does anyone else out there have this to contend with?

I have done being sugary sweet, joking and going absolutely blue-in-the-face-mad about it.

Nothing works.

I swear that at least 98 per cent of the time he has NO IDEA he is even doing it.

I know that I am a 'everything in its place' kind of girl and then he is a 'drop it when you have stopped using it' kind of boy. I had accepted that and have for years PICKED UP AND PUT AWAY EVERYTHING.

Lately it has been getting on my nerves.

Anyone else out there have/had this 'problem'?

tia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha! I could have written that OP.

I feel your pain.

I've given up trying to change him now

Put everything in the wrong place so he can't find it.

Standard mn advice is to start piling it all on his side of the bed till he gets the message.

In my experience this only leads to everything you own being down his side of the bed until you crack

Put it all in a box and ask him to put it all away at the end of the day?

I feel your pain. I wish I had a solution...

DH makes the tea and washes up every day....

but never, ever, ever, ever shuts a cupboard door in the kitchen...

how difficult is it to open the door, take something out and shut the door?

I keep telling him if we ever split up I'm unscrewing all the kitchen cupboards doors and taking them with me

Yep we have exactly the same issue. Would also appreciate a solution!

What does LTB mean?

Random Good idea but that would drive me mad before it did him. And he works really, really, really long hours and I am a SAHM so it would make what is already a tense time worse.

It is small stuff. 'Put the tea towel back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' How hard can it be?
I just don't understand why you wouldn't do it? You are as close to where you got it as the place you dumped it so why not put it back so it is easier for everyone.

We have a one year old and I am pregnant. My plan is to train both my babies to be tidy so that at least then there will be three of us nipping my DH's head about it and I won't look like such a cow.

Anyone any better ideas?

My DH never puts anything away either. I've feel like I've spent a substantial part of my life wandering around putting things away again

He'll get the roll of bin bags out of the kitchen drawer, tear on off and leave the roll on the worktop above the open drawer. Milk on the worktop instead of putting it back in the fridge if he makes tea, etc

A couple of months ago I had a massive clear up and put everything (things like the drill left on the toilet cistern, loads of camping stuff he hadn't put away, an inflatable kayak in the downstairs loo) he'd left laying around in bin bags and put them in the garage. It's all still out there now, I'm not convinced he's even noticed

I don't know. I have the same issue. It drives me fucking insane.

And the fact that he can't find anything. Even if it is in front of him.

And the fact that he can't clean.

And the fact that he takes off clothes and leaves them at the side of the washing basket.

I seriously feel it is a block with them. A mental block. And I try not to rage. But I do.

Oh. That is a bit drastic!

I ask my DH, in a pleasant tone, whether he would like me to put that away/pick that up for him. I just keep doing it all the time until he gets the message again. I also mention in passing that I've done things like pushed his chair in at the table, etc, again in a pleasant tone.

That lasts for a while then he starts forgetting and I start reminding him again.

I feel your pain, DH does this too, just stuff, everywhere, especially in the kitchen, aggghhhhhh

froub I try not to rage too but sometimes I just lose the plot. I kind of accept that actually it is easier picking up socks than everyday complaining about it. But arg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stinklebell Are you married to my brother?

My husband never does his expenses. I've done nice, bitch from hell, upset, dismissive but NOTHING seems to work! Have threatened to LTB!

Start chucking the stuff he leave out away. When he asks if you have seen the thing, yes it's in the bin. It was left on the floor or whatever, so you thought he no longer wanted/needed it. Afterall, if he wanted the thing he would look after it and put it away.

They do it because they know they don't have to.

They have lived with their parents, and in particular mummy has run around for the boy. Picking up after him. Doing everything for him. Then he leaves the nest and carries on. Yes they get nagged, but like at home, mum would sometimes have a bit of a moan, but would carry on tidying up after him. You need to be firm. You need to tell him in simple terms that you are not his mum or slave. You are his equal partner and as such he tidies up the shit he uses. If he wants to live in an untidy hovel, then this is his choice and he is free to move to his own hovel.

Goldmandra my husband is also incapable of pushing in a chair, as are all the children. It never occurs to them that if they pushed them in then they wouldn't stub their toes on them all the time.

Fucking cupboard doors. They never get shut, not ever. So vexed was I at discovering FOUR of the bastarding cupboards lying open the other morning after DH had made his breakfast that I roundhouse kicked one closed and broke 3 glasses within.

Seriously. How hard is it to close the door after you have finished with the cupboard?!

Or to turn lights off.

Or to put clothes in the washing basket.

Or to allow wet towels to dry, not to scrunch them into a ball and leave them on the bed.

I honestly do blame his mother. When my son leaves me his future partner will have the pleasure of him being incredibly well trained in the dark arts of clearing up after himself. Meanwhile I will continue to only wash what is in the basket and to make the bed over the wet towel (having made sure it does not encroach on my side). I am trying to resist kicking any more cupboards. [/rant]

Bloodyteenagers It is definitely not because his Mum run after him. She is a very odd mother who has never ever appeared to be interested in Mothering her babies. Not least when they were little. I would say it is because no one ever pointed it out to him before. I don't have the energy to point it out every time, especially when we are both knackered. It would make it all MUCH worse. I do see where you are coming from though.

My dh does he same . Cannot seem to see crumbs or will -my pet hate clear the washing up area and leave a little pile of debris from sink or sweep up but leave the pile there and not use dust pan to put the pile in bin but just leave the swept pike there aaah! Also shoes were took them off at tbe door in position feet were! Re clutter I sometimes put his stuff right in the middle of the room or by the door so he has to see it when walks over it. A pot of paint has been in kitchen since way before Christmas !scream !

My name is E.R. and I leave cupboard doors open.

I seriously don't know that I'm doing it. But I do. My son complains and closes them now as well, with a sigh and "you can tell mum's been in the kitchen again".

Husband can't see things at the bottom of the stairs. The things that have been put there so the next person going up can take them and put them away upstairs. Walks past them every time.

So - he closes the cupboard doors and I take the stuff up the stairs. While chuntering under our breath about how irritating the other person is.

My line is drawn at socks though. Everyone knows that I touch no socks but my own.

mameulah Sat 11-Jan-14 21:10:10

My plan is to train both my babies to be tidy so that at least then there will be three of us nipping my DH's head about it and I won't look like such a cow.