Firstly some background i'm 28+2 with my first, arraigning my own wedding, arraigning all the details for our first mortgage, PIL's offered a loan to cover the deposit for this year, out of work currently with work guaranteed for July and while me and DP are surviving on his wages alone once i am back at work i will not be earning that much more than maternity allowance so would much prefer a few small family treats eg being able to have a take away or being able to buy a few new things for baby rather than all second hand rather than saving for this "holiday" (also will be paying back loan to PIL's as well)
To top it all of me and DP have thankfully very similar ideas of what we like in holidays which is a caravan in the New Forest taking the dogs with us :)
Just to compare our "wedding" will consist of me and DP signing a wedding certificate just before we register Baby's birth as it saves 2 trips and possibly a small party at my Uncles property (he hosts wedding's lots). several months later our honeymoon including baby's travel is very generously being paid for by PIL's a 3 day cruise to France/Germany
SIL announced yesterday that she wanted her wedding in either the Canaries, America or a Private island which they would hire for 2 weeks at a cost of around 100k and splitting the cost between the wedding party as "you would all be staying on the island with us"
She also said that as she was giving family a year or two's notice that we all had no excuse not to come and pay 3k or more for the privilege, she hasn't decided on summer 2015/16 yet
Now are me and DP BU in saying no way will we be able to afford it already?
We mentioned it to her yesterday and she basically told us if DP loved her we would save the money somehow and that we were expected to be there under any circumstances
to top it all off PIL'S said we should easily be able to manage to save the money, they have been very generous but do not seem to realize our financial situation
Our arguments are that :-
We will have a child under the age of 2 for possibly a flight of several hours or more, we may even have another baby by that stage
Kennel costs of someone watching our animals for 2 weeks
A mortgage and other debts to pay
And to top it all if we did somehow due to lottery or death of family member leaving us money manage to save that amount of money we have talked for years about saving for a caravan or being able to get those odd bits we have always wanted but never been able to afford before eg replace our awful falling apart death trap lovely car, being able to go out for a drink without saving for 2 months first
Are we BU saying that even if we can magically save the money that we will unfortunately not be attending if the wedding is overseas, i mean can they really expect all their friends and family to pay that much?
P.S after a quick read through i just want to state we are in no way jealous of their disposable income we just have very different ideas of what will make our wedding day special and hope they have a lovely time x