to find the reply 'really busy' to 'how are you?' every single time really irritating

[HuiledOlive]

Its a pandemic.

We're just crazy busy, non-stop busy, busy busy busy.

Do these people never have a slower period? Never consider say stopping Violet's clarinet lessons or Boris's cricket?

And always with a lofty sigh.

[MajesticWhine]

It sounds like "too busy to chat to you" so yes it's a bit irritating.

[ArgyMargy]

YANBU. Competitive busy-ness is sooooooo boring. Us chillaxed types are enjoying our lives much more, IMO.

[2rebecca]

I'd stop asking if you don't want an honest answer and just say "hello".

[K8Middleton]

When I was studying with dc MammaTJ I have never been busier. It was a nightmare lurching from one drama to the next and any downtime was spent trying to recover. You have my sympathy and admiration.

I wonder if most busy people have peaks and troughs and use the troughs for recovering? I don't know.

[Yama]

I am only busy at work. Total lazeballs at home.

[Hexbugsmakemeitch]

It's what people say when they haven't time to stop and chat but don't want to breezily say 'fine' and rush past --in case they get accused of being rude for not stopping.

However, in actual fact, I am busy.

[TheVeryBusySpider]

BrickorCleat, not everyone who is busy is failing to organise their life efficiently, some of actually have a lot of commitments.

But, if you can give me any tips on managing my time I would be very grateful. I work full time, with two young DC, as well as caring for two elderly relatives (cleaning, shopping, managing finances) and facing am eviction from my house.

Seriously though, if someone I know told me they were too busy to do xyz, I would offer to help!

[HuiledOlive]

I think its probably a given that with 2 working parents plus dc with a few activities that we're all pretty busy.

Its just the constant banging on about being busy that is dull

[K8Middleton]

Actually I make time for people I like. Just sayin'

[stickysausages]

Being busy is a competition, martyrdom... busy busy bees... so busy.... so important....

[Bettercallsaul1]

I think, when people say they are "busy, busy, busy" , we translate this as "I'm very busy and important" , a la Bridget Jones ...!

[MrsOakenshield]

can't bear people who say "read a book? I'm waaaay to busy to do that!".

[Bettercallsaul1]

Great minds, stickysausages....!

[sleepdodger]

Honestly no it's always bloody full on

Unless you want texting now when it's too late?
Don't judge
Have compassion
I work over ft
I have dc I spend time with pre bed
I then do jobs dinner etc
I finally get to sit down about now
If you want a better reply don't start with your busy life working 2 days a week
Btw I always ask how they are abs am genuinely interested

[woodlandwanderwoman]

When I have had this more than a few times I stop bothering. Have learned the hard way, if people are too busy to make an effort to think of a better reply then they are too busy to need your friendship. They certainly aren't offering theirs to you if you are so inconsiderate as to be needing it.

[stickysausages]

I'm in awe of those who work full time & have kids.... they are genuinely busy... but the ones that piss me off are the sahm's ... some of whom have cleaners... but still gass about how busy they are... at the school gates.... urgh.

[woodlandwanderwoman]

Sadly this applies to my own experience, it's not a comment on everyone else's.

[Hexbugsmakemeitch]

I'm struggling to phrase this so it's not taken too badly but from reading some of the responses hear the ishoo is with no with the respondant...

Don't be so touchy people. However I respond to 'how are you' is not about you it's about me. (You asked after all).

If I say 'I'm busy' it doesn't mean I think I'm too important to talk to you/that I don't like you/that I'm competitive/that I'm disorganised.

It just means I well but rushing off to do something else right now.

I would suggest you stop asking and as a pp said just say 'hi'

clearly I've been unknowingly offending people for years

[Hexbugsmakemeitch]

^ here obviously

[K8Middleton]

I am going to stroll about everywhere next week with my swishy new hair, reply to all emails within 2 hours and answer all enquiries of "how are you?" with "very well thanks. Fancy a coffee?". Unless I don't like you in which case "I'm busy, busy busy!".

I might even read a fecking book!

[BrickorCleat]

BrickorCleat, not everyone who is busy is failing to organise their life efficiently, some of actually have a lot of commitments.

Spider, I would have agreed with you a couple of decades ago, but in fact I have learned that all of life is choices, all of it (to have DC, our careers, where and how we live) so in fact, nobody wakes in a vacuum one day with a weight of hitherto unexpected commitments on their heads.

It can be organised efficiently and I have worked with people to do so. Interestingly, many if those who complain about their over-committed lives actually refuse to give up the activities that keep them so super busy.

In some cases, it has become clear they feel defined by these activities and need them more than the freer time. Women are especially guilty of this.

There are, I'm sure, a whole lot of fascinating social and historical imperatives for this. I find the subject very interesting.

I also believe that everyone can de-busy their lives if they really really want to.

[GlitzAndGiggles]

My friend says this all the time. She's on mat leave so I try and ask what she's been doing to continue the convo and turns out she's busy maybe twice a week lol

[TalisaMaegyr]

Now. I feel quite strongly about this issue.

I work 45 hours a week, have 2 dc and 2 sdc, get up really early, and don't sit down after doing jobs/housework until about 9pm. So then when someone texts me, or calls me, or initiates FB chat or something, I quite often can't be arsed. It's as simple as that really.

I would like an hour out of my day to myself you know!

[Jinsei]

Well, I don't think I go on about it, but I am pretty much always busy! I'm a mum and my DH travels a lot so I have to keep the show on the road at home. I have a demanding full time job as a senior manager, and I'm doing a part time MBA. I have ageing parents who live down the road and need a bit of care and attention, and a couple of friends who I sometimes help out from time to time because they're really struggling. And I try to have some semblance of a social life too!

I don't mind it though, I guess I'm busy because I've chosen to be so. I hope I don't go on about it too much to other people!!

[Iamsparklyknickers]

I don't mind the answer 'busy' when I ask how someone is - I just don't engage in the one up game. Love a good moaning session (hence aibu addiction), but not for the sake of it.

Thing is we're all busy - I don't spend my day staring into space, I'm always doing something - so at the moment I'm busy mnetting .

What I do object to, is people deciding they are free to judge what I do with my time. It's a snide way of making sure someone knows that you think you're better than them when they randomly decide to declare that they're too busy to read a book or go to a certain place.

You might have spent your morning selflessly scrubbing the streets pavements for the adoration of your neighbours - doesn't mean that my morning arranging my stamp collection was any less busy or worthless to me.