to wonder what the fuck is wrong with PLATES.

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

Just been out for a meal.

Food arrived from the kitchen on either a slate or a giant block of wood.

What the fuck is wrong with plates???

Why do they feel the need to stick my food on something I stick on my roof or a bloody breadboard?

Is it just me? I WEEP for the poor neglected china.

What a massive amount of wankery eating out has become.

squoosh it was CHUNKY chips. Which from what I can see is just chunks of square potato.
Chips are meant to be crispy FFS, not skinned baked potatoes in oblong format.

I like a plate. A round one. Not a piece of volcanic rock, a slate tile, a plank or any other shit. A PLATE!

YANBU

I ordered steak and chips recently, with a bearnaise sauce. Steak on wooden board, chips in a little bucket, sauce in a little pot. But I want my sauce on my steak. I daren't pour it on the steak as I feared it would run off the board. Plates were invented for a reason.

Oh yes indeed. Knives + Slates = EEEEEEEEEEEEE my EARS.

I also have a Posh Nosh moment whenever I see any of that poncy bollocks, I was once asked to leave a restaurant for giggling at the menu.

ClassActMeTiggaxx

Hahaha, my knob head manager used to think serving canapés on slate was the height if cutting edge.

I'm with you OP

I don't know, I had some mushy peas in a teeny copper saucepan once with chips in an itsy bitsy little metal basket. That was fun (except I only got 6 chips).

Me too. And this was in Folkestone FFS! Talk about getting above yourself.

Yes, frenchfancy, exactly that.

And since I know you can't put wood in the dishwasher without it going bad, how do they get all of the grubby grub out of the grain eh? EH????

I got served 6 chips in an enamel mug once,I was so miffed I took it.
(Oops, never happened before or since )

Meryl that Antipasti platter is the most "I saw you coming" bollocks that is wrong with poncey food serving I have ever seen.

Oh I'd have nicked the enamel mug too, I think. Sometimes they're just asking for it really.

And yes, I hate too small portions of sauce where you have to dunk. Some sauces need to be strewn liberally, not constrained by a ramekin. Free the sauces, chefs.

I had some chicken skewers (ie kebabs) in a pub the other day. They arrived on a cast iron skillet on a wooden board. It was so hot I couldn't eat my dinner properly as it wouldn't cool enough, by the time I had finished the skillet was still sizzling every time a drop of sauce landed on it. Burned the roof of my mouth and everything.

Interestingly DH's burger didn't arrive in the frying pan, so why the need to serve mine on the utensil it was cooked on? (Except of course it wasn't actually cooked on there which makes it even more useless and poncy!)

God, those wooden boards are useless. If you have a steak cooked nicely rare, you're going to get blood coming out, and on those boards it just runs off. Pisses me off properly this does.

Oh yes indeed, lets not forget "sizzling" menu items.

On a giant black hot think which is burning all of the sauce off your food.

Please someone tell me whats antipasti? I thought it was an old pink band.

Punk not pink? Haha

Hassled, that needs to become a slogan
FREE THE SAUCES!

Mr Tigga has banned me from watching anything with Heston Whatshisface in it because I scream 'JUST COOK THE FUCKING CHICKEN/FISH/WHATEVER' at the tv.

MightHaveTakenItABitFarTiggaxx

Antipasti is a mined starter of olives, artichokes, parma ham, mozarella and other sorts of yummy Italian things.

mixed not mined!

I made the mistake of ordering it with piri piri sauce. The combination of hot temperature and hot spice meant I went to the cinema with my cheeks a very interesting shade of red.

Thanks squoosh

Hassled - Would that be a variation on a chip on his shoulder?

(Sorry - late to the thread!)

Not at all unreasonable, it's poncy shite.