To not give a bottle at night (when breastfeeding)

[Dontfencemein]

My DS is 4 months old and is EBF. BF has not always been a walk in the park but DS has thrived and I want to continue to EBF.

For the past month or so, DS has been waking frequently, perhaps 4 times per night, max 5. I feed him, put him back to sleep and can recall about two occasions when he has not settled back to sleep fairly quickly. I took the view that this would pass, having read about sleep regression and spoken to other mothers in same boat, both BF and not. I am on maternity leave and have no other children, so can live with broken nights. I have told DH on numerous occasions that he may want to sleep in spare room until things settle. He won't. DH doesn't ever get up at night but I appreciate that he may be disturbed and be tired at work.

DH's parents are very close to him and are heavily involved in our lives. DH and his family are actively trying to get me to give DS a bottle at night to get him to sleep. It would appear that there have been a great many conversations about this between them. To try to keep the peace, I went to GP who was supportive of continued EBF. When I fed this back, in factual text to MIL, I received a further plea to give bottle with the subtext that I am being selfish, am not coping myself (because I cried one day), have serious problems with DH's sleep and don't know what I am doing.

I am very upset and feel utterly ganged up on. DH says I am arrogant and won't accept advice (from him and his mother). My own mother is dead and my family is abroad.

I don't bloody want to give a bottle (and who is to say it would impact on DS's sleep in any event). I can't explain this, it is just the way I feel. There is no medical reason to give a bottle. I was really enjoying being a parent and it has all gone arse over tit now and I feel totally undermined. AIBU?

Bottle fed babies don't all sleep better than all EBF babies! Also the night feeds are important for supply.

I was rubbish at BF but this thinking drives me a little nuts. I had one great sleeper and one who liked to feed at night regardless of if still on the breast or on the bottle.

Good luck op. I really feel for you and the pressure you're under from people around you.

I was also bullied by "well meaning" IL's to give a bottle to DS as aparently it would magically make him sleep through since I obviously wasn't coping
No, I was struggling with the loss of his twin brother (stillborn) and bf was the one thing I felt I could cling on to and was doing well - DS was thriving, and while he never slept through we were managing fine.

I was harassed on a daily basis until out if sheer desperation I tried a bottle and had the worst night ever as he got such bad wind I couldn't shift it. If it wasn't bottles I was getting hassle over it was weaning - how early to start (they advocated far too early), what to feed, etc. I had a breakdown when he was 10 months as I couldn't take any more.

OP, you are doing fabulously, don't let them tell you otherwise. Don't let them sway you because it's only the start, believe me.

Your baby your decision.

That said it's easier if dh agree with you. There's a tonnage of info on kellymom and others about why breast milk is better.

stop involving her. You are creating her ability to comment.

Lastly, there may be a point where you try this. But do it because you want to eh? Not because you're told to.

Good luck and congrats on new family x