To not think it's ok when dd/ds interrupts adults conversation?

[yellowrose2728]

Please be honest with me

Visiting a friend that I haven't seen in a while, so obviously there was lots of news to chat about. Her DD was off school because she had woken up feeling ill so was camped on the sofa in the living room.
Me and friend took ourself off to the dining room to have some adult time and a natter. DD comes in every five minutes for a drink/food/toilet etc. ..nothing wrong with that, I understand how some children want to have a little nose at what's going on. BUT then she kept interrupting our conversation. ..not for anything in particular, just everytime we would start talking would start talking over her Mum. The reason I found this even ruder was her mum would stop the conversation that we were having to answer her questions. Examples being; why are you talking about babies? When are we going on holiday? Why did we buy a pink laptop? As you can see, nothing life changing This went on for the full hour and a half that I was there.

Now my DS is the same age (11) and if he did this, would be told in no uncertain terms that it's rude to interrupt a conversation unless necessary. When I was later discussing this with my mum (not in a nasty way, just asking her opinion) she made it clear that I was being very unfair to a little girl who wasn't very well and wanted to spend time with her mum So mumsnet jury, am I totally unreasonable to think that DF should have said something to her DD or am I just a very bitchy person??

Yanbu!!!!

She's 11?! I thought you were going to say 5. At 11 I'd expect her to be able to entertain herself and not be so bloody rude.

I have noticed this so much when teaching. One child will ask for help and others think it's perfectly acceptable, actually looking confused when reprimanded, to shout their own question out when I'm in mid-flow explaining something to someone else.

So you are definitely not being unreasonable, OP.

YANBU.

I sent a 5 year old out of phonics today for constantly interrupting and talking over me. He was warned but I think a child from year 1 onwards should know that interruptions are only for emergencies.

YANBU

YANBU. At all! I know so many people who allow this and it is extremely irritating. If my DCs ever tried this they were sent packing with a flea in their ear. Definitely not acceptable behaviour (ooh I sound so prim, but I get really peed off when this happens, and feel relieved when the child is told to stop - I've even been known to tell the child in question not to interrupt his/her mummy)

YANBU. DD is 6, and still struggling to get the hang of waiting her turn when I am mid conversation, I would expect a child of 11 to have got the hang of it. That said I think there needs to be some balance. You couldn't expect her to let you talk completely uninterrupted for over an hour.

YANBU. These children are not being taught social skills - how to join in a conversation and when to be quiet.

I hate this and am constantly pulling my 7 yo up on it yanbu!

Mil (whom I love to bits) is a nightmare with this... Dc will interrupt constantly and she will either stop mid-sentence to respond or even more infuriatingly, allow them to interrupt ME and engage with their probably very trivial request/demand/observation

Drives me nuts

YANBu

YANBU

It's all about how people bring up their dch. Admittedly in this case if the child was ill, she maybe could've sat quietly with you, but what you describe shows me that she hadn't been taught to do this.

It does make me wonder why your friend didn't say to her DD, "I'll be with you in a minute. I'm discussing something with Yellowrose" & then basically ignore her until you'd finished - it's not as if she's usually ignored, after all. She should teach her DD that it's rude to interrupt.

I have told DS' s (11 & 9) that if I'm having a conversation with someone, unless a limb is hanging off or there is blood, they can wait for a few minutes

I have no problem with her coming out to talk to her Mum and would never suggest that she should have stayed in the other room for that full length of time. I just found it so frustrating that nothing was said for the whole time about manners etc

Good grief! All through reading your post I was imagining that the girl was about 4 or so.

An 11-year-old should certainly not behave like that.

Yanbu, I hate this! I also thought the child was a toddler, not 11 FFS! She needs to get some manners.

I have a friend who does it on the phone. She rings me, then proceeds to have a conversation with her dd while I stand waiting for the q & a session to finish so that she can talk to me about whatever she wanted.

Quite often I'm busy, I work at home, so she's interrupting my day and wasting my time, just to be able to show off how advanced her dd is and what super-intelligent questions she answers.

She's also one of those loud mums who gives long-winded and overly mature explanations to her 4 yo, going into huge detail. Yawn!

Sorry, rant over, yanbu!

Fwiw, if my DCs try to talk to me when I'm on the phone I walk away into another room and shut the door.

If they do it when I'm talking to someone in person, they get a short "I'm talking" and they have to wait until an appropriate time.

YANBU - there is a time, when they are little, and still learning, but by 11, they should know they only interupt an adult's conversation if they are bleeding profusely, or on fire.

I have an acquaintance who does exactly the same, pants. TBH, I put the phone down when it happens now... She can ring back when she's ready to talk to me instead of her DD

YANBU! Work with public and regularly have to tell interrupting children to wait until I'm done serving current customer. Indulgently smiling nearby parent/s always look put out by this tacit encouragement of manners. Tough shit. Stop teaching your child to think the world stops when they open their mouth.

yanbu, this is not good at 11.

I can remember, as a child around this age, having learned not to interrupt, sometimes waiting what seemed like forever for a break in the adult conversation so I could get a word in. At 11, she's probably feeling that she would like to be with the adults sometimes (and unaware of what a pain this can be when two friends want a catch up!) However, it seems you would have been happy for her to participate a bit which is fair enough.

Constant blathering on about nothing gives the impression that she just doesn't like her mum's attention being elsewhere.

YANBU.

It is very annoying when DC do this, and their parent indulges it.

So at what age do you think they should have the hang of this?

Yanbu ... Rude and a skill children need to learn

YANBU. Eleven years old!! Back in the day when DD was younger, I'd encounter this with quite a few parents. I never allowed DD to do this. Once, though, we were at dinners, with a its of grown-ups gassing and chatting, and DD raise her hand to speak. I felt a little , as we'd never told her to do this.

Her school years were bedevilled with endless references to being a chatterbox (though not an interrupter).

And while we're on school, as a teacher, I've noticed a marked increase in children who interrupt, with no malice or disruptiveness just, I assume, a sure knowledge they will get immediate attention. PITA.