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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why so many people drive their dc to and from secondary school?

280 replies

Dancergirl · 08/01/2014 23:04

Surely once at secondary school dc should get themselves to and from unless it's really not possible to get there by public transport?

Someone I know - her dd has started Year 7 at a local secondary. There is an easy and convenient school bus. But she's driving her and picking up every day even though she also has younger dc at primary!

At dd1's school (she's currently Year 8), it seems lots of her friends are driven to and from. Some live locally and there are very good public transport links.

Why?? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancergirl · 09/01/2014 16:33

An interesting debate, thanks all. I've learnt a thing or two.

OP posts:
Picturesinthefirelight · 09/01/2014 16:54

Dancer girl - the majority of schools in my city are not in the sane buildings. They've all been closed down with some merging & reopen ing as academies.

When I went to school 30 years ago there was approx 800 pupils at my school (we didn't have lockers even then just open cloakrooms with pegs) virtually everyone came from the one adjoining housing estate.

Now the average secondary school has between 1500 & 2000 pupils, less schools mean much bigger catchments.

Picturesinthefirelight · 09/01/2014 17:00

My own dd incidentally gets up at 6.30am to leave for school at 7.15am. She gets home at 7.30pm. Dh drives her as its over 40 miles away! Dh drives her as he works there anyway.

Its a tiny boarding school (she's a day pupil) & she has a locker!

formerbabe · 09/01/2014 17:03

My children aren't that age yet but if my ds ends up going to the secondary school I want him to go to, I will be driving him as he would need to cross over a dual carriageway which has no proper pedestrian crossing. I have seen kids dash across it and it makes my blood run cold.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 09/01/2014 17:05

Isn't she at a dance school pictures?

OP posts:
Picturesinthefirelight · 09/01/2014 17:11

Yes. Her dedication amazes me!

Picturesinthefirelight · 09/01/2014 17:12

18 children in year 7!

jetsetlil · 09/01/2014 18:45

My dd has been getting bus to school and back since she started high school, she is now year 10. It is moreor door to door though, only seven bus stops away. The boy over the road is driven there and ...same year as my dd. Dad makes a special journey to do it then comes back and picks up the younger soon and drives him to primary school a five minute walk away. Mental!!

jetsetlil · 09/01/2014 18:53

God! So many typos...stupid phone. You get the jist I'm sure

Bunbaker · 09/01/2014 19:22

"But many schools are still in the same buildings as they were a generation ago. There are lots and lots of corridors....space for lockers?"

Or put a set of lockers in each form room. I've seen that before in a secondary school. Pupils take what they need for the morning's lessons and put the rest away. At lunchtime they take what they need for the afternoon. There are ways round it, even in a big school."

DD's school is brand spanking new. The corridors are short and the classrooms are way too small for lockers. They only go to their form room first thing for registration, then the room is used as a classroom for the rest of the day. Due to the number of students they have a split lunch break so the form room is in constant use all day without a break.

pamish · 09/01/2014 19:33

"Why does it matter to you?"
Because every car journey adds to climate change and other pollution. Please don't deny it.

I had a free school bus and am disgusted that anyone under 16 has to pay for a journey over say a mile. Those who chose to cycle got a small annual payback. London kids get a free? discounted? bus pass I believe, including those in FE to age 19. Why is this not granted nationally? Why isn't there a mass campaign? Do people not notice because the car is so ubiquitous?

GlitzAndGiggles · 09/01/2014 20:07

Where I live an 11yo girl used to get the bus to and from school until one day an 18yo followed her on to the bus and followed her when she got off. He then forced her into the park and raped her. So i'll be doing the same when dd is old enough! Too many wronguns around

cory · 09/01/2014 20:10

But surely more children are injuredand killed in traffic accidents than through rapist atttacks, Glitz? Don't the statistics show that taking your children in your car is pretty well the most dangerous thing you can do to them?

Mintyy · 09/01/2014 20:17

I'm very sad to say that where I live an 11 year old girl was being given a lift to school by her mum, they got stuck in traffic and so they both decided she should get out and walk the rest of the way and tragically was killed by a bus coming up on the passenger side of the car as she got out (without checking behind her). She wouldn't have died had she walked to school that day. I don't for one minute believe that more children have come to serious harm on the school run on public transport than in their parents' cars.

Doinmummy · 09/01/2014 20:19

I drop my DD 15 to school to make sure she goes ! She walks home.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/01/2014 20:30

pamish they could give out all the free bus passes they liked in plenty of areas and it would make bugger all difference because the buses don't go to the right places, or there aren't enough buses.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 10/01/2014 01:13

I wasn't allowed to go to school by myself until I was 14 because my dm was & still is a very anxious person with a real fear of kidnap etc. To be fair, she grew up in a country where kidnap, rape & murder of school kids is a common occurence.

tilliebob · 10/01/2014 07:57

My eldest two get the bus into high school, but it's free as they are in catchment and our village is about 4 miles from the school. Even if they missed the bus for some reason, they can get a service bus and get the money back at school or go to the school office and get a voucher thing so they can get home for free. If it was costing me £££s a month, I'd be dropping them off too! Lunches already cost me a fecking fortune every week as it is!

Gossipmonster · 10/01/2014 08:08

I drive my 3 DC to school as it's cheaper than putting them all on the bus. I chose to put them in an "out of catchment" school just under 3 miles away Hmm.

I then drive to work and they get the bus home.

ErrolTheDragon · 10/01/2014 08:12

Bus routes can be a real logistical problem in rural areas, but then the solution can be to get your child to the nearest bus-stop and they go from there. This is what we do - the bus-stop is ~1.5 miles down a country road, which if that was all she had to do would be walkable but is too much with a long bus journey as well. This takes us much less time and money (even with the £905 bus pass way cheaper than the real cost of the car journeys esp as there and back - obv would be entirely different if one of us worked near her school).

For many kids, getting themselves to secondary school is something of a rite of passage - a spreading of their wings and independence at an appropriate ages. She went from just school bus (we'd pick her up from late after-school events) rapidly to public bus if someone else was coming home at the same time, to now she'd be fine using the public bus alone. Its a natural progression towards the day - not too many years hence (eek!) when she'll be off to university (or gap year backpacking!).

TheRealAmandaClarke · 10/01/2014 08:14

People make non essential car journeys all the time.
But the one that always gets the spotlight of criticism is the school run.

I don't have secondary age children. Mine are still tiny.
But off the top of my head I can think of at least four entirely valid reasons why it would be a good idea to drive these children to and from school.
They've probably all been mentioned.

Another sweeping criticism of parents dressed up as genuine confusion.

StanleyLambchop · 10/01/2014 09:05

London kids get a free? discounted? bus pass I believe, including those in FE to age 19. Why is this not granted nationally? Why isn't there a mass campaign? Do people not notice because the car is so ubiquitous?

I believe this has already been covered. Outside of London the bus companies have been privatised. it is impossible to force a private company to give free fares to children. This would have to be paid for by the local authority, my LA is cutting costs left, right and centre. It cannot afford free school transport. It also cannot afford day centres for the elderly and disabled, various parks that it has been selling off, and even public toilets. So a combination of a rubbish service which the council cannot improve as it is a private company, and high fares which there is no budget to subsidise, keeps people in their cars.

sandyballs · 10/01/2014 10:13

You can't drive your kids to school because of a fear of rape/kidnap/traffic accidents. Not at secondary age anyway. Bizarre. don't they ever go out at weekends then with friends, without parents?

We're lucky enough to have free bus travel (south london) and my DDs live about 1.5 miles from school so they usually walk, or get the bus if it's tipping down. It's part of a social thing for them and gaining independence. They have never experienced any bullying or violence on the bus.

I am surprised by the amount of cars at the school on the occasions I have dropped them off. Agree there may be some non obvious issues which makes this essential but I bet the vast majority don't. A friend who lives half a mile from the school always takes her DS, she said she doesn't like the thought of him having to walk up the hill in the rain. I wouldn't say anything as it's none of my business and I don't care what she does with her own son but I find it astounding to be honest that she is wrapping him up in cotton wool, this is year 8! And he's very overweight. Surely it's her job as a mother to encourage more activity.

I've learnt something on this thread though about bus fares! Had no idea they were so expensive outside of London. Can completely understand driving kids under those circumstances.

soontobeslendergirl · 10/01/2014 10:23

I take a detour on the way to and from work to take mine to and collect from school as they go to a non catchment school because of bullying issues - I wish the bullys parents contributed to my petrol costs but they don't think of that when they allow their children to be little shits. There is no realistic public transport that doesn't involve long walks at both ends and an expensive journey in the middle. Apart from the cost issue, I also don't think it's fair that they should have to do that through no fault of their own and also becasue of the bullying it's probably made me overprotective. I do however pick up and drop off 2 other children so my car is full so not necessarily adding to conjestion in a big way.

TheDoctrineOf2014 · 10/01/2014 10:28

OP

In your first post you said it was a neighbour with primary kids too who astounded you - maybe if they are up and out in the car with other kids already, it's just more efficient?