Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why so many people drive their dc to and from secondary school?

280 replies

Dancergirl · 08/01/2014 23:04

Surely once at secondary school dc should get themselves to and from unless it's really not possible to get there by public transport?

Someone I know - her dd has started Year 7 at a local secondary. There is an easy and convenient school bus. But she's driving her and picking up every day even though she also has younger dc at primary!

At dd1's school (she's currently Year 8), it seems lots of her friends are driven to and from. Some live locally and there are very good public transport links.

Why?? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
ComposHat · 09/01/2014 11:58

ginger you are joking aren't you? You run a 14/15 year old to school despite living a 10 minute walk away, because she doesn't want to wear a coat? If it is taking you five minutes to drive it, I'm guessing you're spending a good proportion of that time stuck it traffic.

jacks365 · 09/01/2014 11:58

A couple of times recently I have had to organise a lift for my dd. She studies art and does normally carry an A1 art folder which makes cycling impossible but she is currently working on an art piece which is 1m x1m she needs help with it.

With regards to the cost in theory she should get a free bus pass but our council measures from bus stop to bus stop and that is 2.9 miles even though the full journey is closer to 5.

Rooners · 09/01/2014 12:00

Dancergirl - the public buses that are specifically run for schoolchildren.

Our bus station is filled with them at about 8.15am, for the short journey out of town but there are many others that come in from satellite towns around 8am-8.30.

The ones that have a majority passenger load of school children.

Rooners · 09/01/2014 12:00

ie the ones your own child is getting on in the morning.

StanleyLambchop · 09/01/2014 12:02

To & from school is a chance to mix, catch up with friends just be amongst their peer group.

Unfortunately for some it is also the prime time for bullies to strike, and to be ostracised by a group for some totally unfathomable and random reason. Surely you can understand why parents would not want to put their kids through that.

MrsBennetsEldest · 09/01/2014 12:03

You don't need to understand why OP, as it is none of your business why others choose to see their children safely to school.

Rooners · 09/01/2014 12:05

I agree Stanley. I only took the bus sometimes. I remember the first time I took the double decker in from a town about 10 miles away, after staying over at a friend's house. I must have been about 13.

It was terrifying. Everyone seemed to know each other, and what the rules were, and I was torn to pieces (not literally) for saying the wrong thing, or not knowing what something meant, and people were smoking, and kicking around an aerosol on the floor, and trying to set fire to it, and this is all without the ones who were standing at the front flirting with the seedy, greasy old bus driver all the way - and the poor untrendy girls sitting on their own sobbing and having the piss ripped out of them interminably.

I got off that bus never wanting to go on it again.

Goldmandra · 09/01/2014 12:05

Seeing as lots of high schools now don't provide anywhere for coats to hang, I have to wonder whether those children who walk several miles to school in all weathers have to leave them to fester all day in lockers then put them on again wet for the journey home.

Or do they follow the 'no coat' fashion, get soaked and dry out in the classroom.

FluffedUpFerretOnSteroids · 09/01/2014 12:06

The bus drivers are also usless and let it happen, unless they start messing up the bus Angry i always thought it would have been good to have a teacher on the school bus as well, i would have felt much more safe.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 09/01/2014 12:08

Oldest dd usually uses school coach service, sometimes she'll get the tube with her friends if she stays late for a club.

Dd2 (year 6 so not secondary yet), gets a public bus home once or twice a week.

I don't have any experience of buses specifically for school children.

OP posts:
gingermop · 09/01/2014 12:09

compos y would I joke!
y would a parent if able not give a lift especially in colder months, and no, no traffic, but would happily sit in it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/01/2014 12:11

I think the point about secondary school children having nowhere to store waterproof clothing/alternative shoes/umbrella is a big issue actually.

If you've got a bag full of books and then sports/musical equipment then it is a lot to lug about all day.

I am half Hmm and half Grin at these 'flabbergasted' Londoners that don't realise that the rest of the country doesn't have a fabulous public transport set up.
We live in a big town in the SE. The public transport is SHIT. Some guy from the council came round a couple of months ago asking about public transport use, and did I use the bus to take the DCs to school. Answer - no, because I would have to leave 45 minutes earlier, and then by the time I had got home again it would have taken me over 2 hours - rather than 20 minutes from leaving to being home again when we go in the car. That was before we got onto the issue of cost.

DH and I will always take our DCs to school if we are available to do so, unless we are able to move v.close to the secondary we want them to go to.
We were both bullied at school, and the journey to and from was the worst. I can remember the absolute gut-wrenching anxiety growing as the end of the day approached and I knew that I would have to face my bullies outside of the school gates. I will never ever knowingly put my DCs in that situation.

jellybeans · 09/01/2014 12:12

Many that I know are overprotective or the kids aren't used to walking 1-2 miles.

ParenthoodJourney · 09/01/2014 12:13

Why is it any of your business why a parent chooses to take their child to and from school!?

My DS isn't in secondary yet but I drive him to and from school and it's on the way to work - if I am driving to work and secondary school is on the way in the future I will continue to do the same. Also, it's freezing and raining a lot at the moment I wouldn't like the thought of my DC getting wet before they start school. Year ten onwards I may encourage my child to walk to school but if a parent does not want to make her 11 year old year seven walk to school then that's her choice no matter the reason behind it, it's none of your business.

I used to loathe walking to secondary school ! It was a 45 minute walk and I used to wonder why my mum couldn't just take me as she'd lie in bed and make me walk to school when it was still fairly dark out. I always thought when I have children if I am in the position to take them to school I will.

If you're in the position to then why not with the added bonus of knowing they are at school and got their safe and dry !

Stinklebell · 09/01/2014 12:15

It's regard to free bus travel, our council give free bus passes to those who live over a certain distance from their nearest school? However, they seem to come up with all sorts of ingenious ways of getting out of paying for it.

One of my daughter's friends has a journey which using the council's argument involves a 2 mile walk along a dual carriageway, another one seems to be expected to swim across a river (the council used straight line distance, her walk using an actual bridge takes it over the required distance)

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/01/2014 12:15

Dancergirl I'm sure I remember a thread of yours not that long ago asking about leaving your younger ones at home alone while you drove your eldest to dancing. You must have had your reasons for considering it? Can't she get a bus? The tube?

It doesn't take a huge leap of imagination to think that others might have equally good reasons for wanting to take their secondary age DCs to school themselves.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 09/01/2014 12:15

God, this takes me back to my own childhood!

For a short time (part of year 7 and year 8), I was at a private girls school that had a v traditional uniform including a hat. Journey home involved a bus ride then tube. The bus was awful, I stood out like a sore thumb and girls from another school would pull my hat elastic. I also remember waiting for the bus when it was nearly dark. I didn't think to tell my mum! Does that make her a bad parent??

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/01/2014 12:17

It doesn't make her a bad parent, but doesn't it make you wonder whether your DD is experiencing anything similar?

Original poster
Dancergirl · 09/01/2014 12:19

No she isn't. She likes the school coach and the driver gives them sweets!

OP posts:
bigmouthstrikesagain · 09/01/2014 12:20

When my dc start High school - we have a 3 tier system - They will have to walk or get the Bus - Because I do not drive. I will still be walking dc2 to Primary school when ds1 starts High school (situated in the next village) It is a 40min walk or a short bus ride away and I believe he will be capable of it and as there really is no choice he will have to be ok. He walks to middle school at the moment and that is only 10 mins away.

I get irritated by the parents that drive short distances and park inconsiderately near the primary school - I can't imagine doing that for a teenager - but then neither of my parents drove so I always walked to school and walked or cycled or bused or trained to college and then Uni and then work - so it is natural and 'normal' for me. Other people have their own normal.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 09/01/2014 12:20

Had no idea how crap or expensive public transport is in some parts of the country. An eye opener.

OP posts:
Stinklebell · 09/01/2014 12:25

Sorry, excuse types above, phone rang and accidentally posted before I'd finished

I may be over indulging her, but I wouldn't want to walk 20 minutes in the absolute pissing rain, carrying a heavy school bag, sometimes a heavy PE kit (at the moment she has to take track suit, football boots, shin pads, towel) home ec stuff, etc. Then when I get there either spend the day either carting around or wearing wet clothes, plus school bag, PE kit, etc as I have no locker to store them in. She won't melt, but it's not exactly pleasant either

And it's not exactly a fun social time walking to school with her peers when the rain is horizontal and it's absolutely freezing

I give her a lift 2 or 3 times a week as a favour, I'm nice like that

motherinferior · 09/01/2014 12:30

I have driven DD1 to school precisely once, when she had to be there for an 8.30 class and was running late because the cat had got a dead squirrel in her bedroom.

If I drove her at any other time she'd be mortified. Hell, the 10 year old goes to school on her own. It's all a major part of their social lives, as far as I can work out.

MadeOfStarDust · 09/01/2014 12:32

DH drops the girls at school and they bus home... for a few reasons mainly already touched on ....

  1. cost doubles if they do both journeys by bus
  2. they get to school dry
  3. they get to school (it is our responsibility - legal - as parents to get the kids to go to school every day - this way we know they are there.
  4. convenience - they would need to get up and ready an hour earlier to catch the bus to school every day.
  5. there is no safe walking route to our (country) school - no pavements on a national speed-limit windy B road.
WorrySighWorrySigh · 09/01/2014 12:32

Road traffic is a big issue when it comes to cycling. There is no way my DCs would be safe cycling to school.

So, once we have taken out cost, unreliable or non existent public transport, distance, need to carry vast quantities of kit because schools dont have lockers; what are we left with?

Ah yes, London.

So, the reason that lots of parents drive their kids to school is because it costs less than the bus, it is more reliable/convenient than the bus, it is a bit too far to walk and they actually like to spend a bit extra time with their kids.

Also, not everywhere else is like London.