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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why so many people drive their dc to and from secondary school?

280 replies

Dancergirl · 08/01/2014 23:04

Surely once at secondary school dc should get themselves to and from unless it's really not possible to get there by public transport?

Someone I know - her dd has started Year 7 at a local secondary. There is an easy and convenient school bus. But she's driving her and picking up every day even though she also has younger dc at primary!

At dd1's school (she's currently Year 8), it seems lots of her friends are driven to and from. Some live locally and there are very good public transport links.

Why?? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Joysmum · 09/01/2014 02:03

On the rare occasions my hubby works in his office, he take DD to school to spend time with her, and time when I'm not there.

They both appreciate those little early morning chats.

She normally rides her bike in though, but on the days where it's very rainy and windy and hubby isn't in the office, I take her in. It's cheaper than the bus and despite being only 2.5 miles away, there's no direct bus and she needs to change.

furlinedsheepskinjacket · 09/01/2014 02:12

my dd is in 6h form college and gets lifts in most days if someone in the family is passing.i spoke to friend toda who commented that she had waved to my dad at college when she was dropping off her dd.
so we are not the only ones.
actually exdh will take my ds home from uni as he works in same town.

furlinedsheepskinjacket · 09/01/2014 02:16

the cost of buses for both dcs would be around £150 pm.

Bogeyface · 09/01/2014 02:22

Well for me it's because my DD is the smallest in her year and in her onesie looks about 6, in her uniform she looks...8, tops! That and the fact that her play rehearsals end at 5pm (the only yr 7 that got a principle part! I didnt when I auditioned at her age, so am proud and jealous in equal parts!) mean it is pitch black when she comes out.

ComposHat · 09/01/2014 02:57

If they go into the sixth form then it is no longer free to us, and costs around £500 per year just to travel 6 miles a day

Can a 16 year old not walk or cycle three miles each way? (Assuming there are no mobility issues?) It would take about 15 minutes on a bikebike or 50 minutes on foot.

Bogeyface · 09/01/2014 03:10

But Compo that would mean DD leaving at 7:15am as school starts at 8:25, which would mean her getting up at 6 and then getting home at 4;15pm followed by 2 hours of home work. Would you want a day like that without a car? I bloody wouldnt! 6 miles, plus a full day (including PE) and then 2 hours "working from home"? Stuff that!

Why do some people happily see their kids working a day that they wouldnt do for less than £20ph?!

ComposHat · 09/01/2014 03:25

Erm, I did a journey of that length as both a school pupil and as a working adult (both on bike and foot) for years. It is only in the last year or two that I've had a car.

A fifty minute walk/ 15 minute bike ride isn't really taxing for a healthy young adult. It shouldn't require a 6:00 start to arrive somewhere for 8:25. (again assuming no mobility difficulties)

wobblyweebles · 09/01/2014 03:29

I used to stand by a main road in the wind and rain for an hourly bus that sometimes arrived and sometimes didn't. Fecking hated it.

Bogeyface · 09/01/2014 03:35

I didnt say a 6 am start. I said getting up at 6 am in order to leave at 7:15. And when I responded I didnt know it was a Monty Python sketch about competitive hardship Hmm

You did it. Good for you. Would you do it again if you didnt have to? I fecking wouldnt. I never take my car for granted after having to walk 2 miles to the nearest supermarket with DD in her pram and then back again (up a serious hill, on the edge of the Peaks) with a weeks worth of shopping on her pram and on my back for 18 months.

Its raining, its blowing a gale. Would I see DD walk in that if I could drive her? No, of course not. What parent would?!

MrsMook · 09/01/2014 04:01

My mum insisted on taking me for years for a few reasons. It gave her a reason to get up in thr morning. My dad died suddenly less than 3 months before I stsrted, so it wss a way of maintaining structure in life, and getting clothes on and out of thd house every day. She liked to know thst I'd arrived at school safely. Her fear was that if something terrible occurred on the way to school, it could be 6 hours before anyone would register that I was missing. She was happier to let me get the bus home a long timr before she stopped taking me. That happened at 15 when she broke her arm so had no choice but to let me bus in. She conceded that it was a bit daft to restart taking me then.

With my older brother, she had to drive past the school to take me to my primary, so taking him was no extra effort, and an established habit.

ComposHat · 09/01/2014 04:15

Bogey I am aware that 6am would be the waking up time and i have no wish to micro-analyse you children's morning routine, but I can't see why it takes any more than half an hour to jump in the shower, eat breakfast and head off to school.

Of course it is your prerogative to drive your daughter to school and this really isn't about me getting into a competitive hardship debate or woe is me debate. My point is that it isn't essential that a sixth former is driven door to door.

but I really don't consider walking that distance a hardship or in any way taxing. It never really occurred to me to get to school or work by any other method. I think

I still walk similar distances on a tri weekly basis into the city centre (as the car is a bloody hindrance) and a brolly and a waterproof coat seem to see me right.

Travelledtheworld · 09/01/2014 04:32

Cost is a factor for me. It's £40 a week on the bus, or a two mile walk along a busy road.

We do a car share though.

differentnameforthis · 09/01/2014 04:38

I drive my girsl to school & probably will when they are at secondary.

I don't see the need to justify it.

MadIsTheNewNormal · 09/01/2014 04:56

Not everybody lives on a convenient bus route. By the time they've got their children to the point were they can pick up public transport they may as well carry on driving all the way.

Some people live where the children would need to change buses at least once, and the buses' timekeeping is poor meaning they often miss connections, or just spend forever waiting around in the wet and the cold.

If you have several children at the same secondary school the bus/train fares can be incredibly expensive, especially if you are in a rural area. It is often much cheaper to drive them, and it may well be on your route to work anyway.

Sometimes children have a ridiculous amount of stuff to carry to school, it can be a heavy school bag, a large musical instrument, a lunch box and a sports kit bag all at once, some days.

Chottie · 09/01/2014 05:24

Where do you all live? school children in my area have free bus passes (south London) which means the buses are full of school children, but there are still lots of parents driving their children to school too. South London is very congested within 10-15 minutes walking distance of my house there are 4 primary schools (with another one due to be opened for September 14) and 2 secondary schools. This gives you some idea of the amount of parents and children on the move every morning.

Spermysextowel · 09/01/2014 05:53

If the hourly bus doesn't turn up I drive mine in, plus any other waifs & strays from the bus-stop that I can fit in. Including patients for the local hospital. Works for me as it encourages me to be ready & then just carry on in to work ( in the opposite direction) or I'd potter for England.

As a child I caught 2 buses then walked 3 miles to school. A waterproof coat was essential. At least I had somewhere to hang it. I've not seen any secondary school children wielding a brolly. They'd be forced to carry both around all day, until the brolly was forcibly taken from them by a classmate & ripped inside out.

Many posters have explained the reasons why they do the school run. I don't really see why you wouldn't if you can.

LtEveDallas · 09/01/2014 06:04

For us it would be because DD couldn't walk to school - 3 miles down a busy A Road. There is a school bus, but for my next door neighbour it's because of bullying on the bus that she drives her DD.

When we move DD will take a school bus to secondary, just over 3 miles away. According to the bus schedule that 3 miles will take 45 minutes. If that is correct, then I'll be driving DD, because that is just a waste of time.

Bunbaker · 09/01/2014 06:33

"Can a 16 year old not walk or cycle three miles each way?"

Do you have a teenager? Do you seriously imagine a 16 year old would give up 50 minutes sleep time every the morning just so that they can walk to school (carrying a heavy bag)? Grin

DD's school is in rural market town where the pupils are bussed in from local villages. They have an 8.20 start time. It is very hilly and most of the (very winding) roads don't have pavements. Walking or cycling to school isn't very practical. I did ask DD if anyone cycled and she said that no-one did.

DD gets the bus BTW.

JeanSeberg · 09/01/2014 06:34

I take my 15 year old son to school on the days he's with me and he walks home.

That ok with you?

VivaLeBeaver · 09/01/2014 06:38

I drive past dd's school on my way to work. So often take her rather than her catching the bus.

ShowMeYourTARDIS · 09/01/2014 06:56

Taking a bus would have involved over an hour's bus ride (three buses, actually) and me getting up at 5:30 in the morning. Fortunately, my parents worked in the same town my school was in, so it wasn't out of their way.

Joules68 · 09/01/2014 07:15

I do that too jean

Wondering what the op wants from this thread.... She now says take this and that 'from the equation'. Some people just don't seem to like teenagers

RestingActress · 09/01/2014 07:17

I drive them if its tipping down to save them spending the day in soaking wet clothes. Walking back in rain less of an issue as they can come in dry off and warm up.

BeckAndCall · 09/01/2014 07:21

Really? This thread again?

I drive my DD to school ( she's in the 6th form) because its 12 miles away and I work 1 mike from her school and start roughly at the same time. The train journey takes an hour, involves 3 trains and costs £300 per term.

If I drive her, she gets an extra half an hour in the morning and an extra half hour in the evening - her school hours are 8.30 to 4.30 ( sometimes 8 til 5) so she's already doing hours as long as me. Before the 2 hours homework a night. So the extra hour driving buys her is worth a fair bit.

soundedbetterinmyhead · 09/01/2014 07:32

I make my DD (12) get up at 6am to get the 7am train, so she's been walking the 15mins to the station in the dark for ages now. She's on the train for about 10mins then got a 30 min walk to the school the other side. They go in a little gang together - she'd rather be driven in, of course, but I was made to walk an hour each way to school, so consider it character building. Just one of the ways that I hand on the misery down the generations. Wink