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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to leave DD (6mo)

77 replies

PuddingAndHotMilk · 08/01/2014 07:27

DH and I have a weekend away with a large group at the end of the month and DD (6mo) will come with us as I'm ebf and she's a bottle refuser. While I know people it's primarily DHs friends.

We're staying in a small hotel in a small town. DH thinks it's ok to leave her asleep in our room with the monitor on and have dinner. I don't feel comfortable but worry I'm being overly cautious.
He can't see how it's different from having dinner downstairs at home. Maybe I'm being PFB or maybe he's reckless. I just don't know anymore. AIBU to say I'll go to bed when she does?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 08/01/2014 07:29

Is there a baby sitting service? Or take a friend who's willing to look after your baby?

Seems a bit pointless to go if you won't be able to sit and eat the dinner. Could she not stay up just this once?

JeanSeberg · 08/01/2014 07:31

Will the other friends have babies/toddlers with them?

JeanSeberg · 08/01/2014 07:33

I wouldn't leave a baby unattended in a hotel room though even with a monitor. I wouldn't be able to relax for the fear of fire or whatever, however minute.

How far from home is the do?

BohemianGirl · 08/01/2014 07:33

I think you are being PFB.

Amongst other things you will come across as anti-social if you refuse to eat or socialise with these people of an evening.

Although, are there any other children going?

judgejudithjudy · 08/01/2014 07:34

i wouldnt do it unless i had a breathing monitor attached, actually no, i wouldnt do it. my 10 month old is still in her cot in my room.

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/01/2014 07:35

I wouldn't,that sort of thing is mostly frowned apon these days

judgejudithjudy · 08/01/2014 07:36

bohamgirl - not pfb at all - babies from 6 months know that they are in a strange place!

MummyPig24 · 08/01/2014 07:37

Nope I definitely wouldn't. It's not worth the risk.

JohnnyBarthes · 08/01/2014 07:39

Depends on the layout of the hotel - it could be absolutely fine for an hour or so. Can't she snooze near you in her pram though?

ThisIsMeNow · 08/01/2014 07:39

If you were evacuated they wouldn't let you back up to your room unlike at home. So no, I wouldn't. Baby in buggy with you.

BohemianGirl · 08/01/2014 07:39

How 'small' is a small hotel - to me that reads B&B sized, maybe 6 bedrooms across two floors, therefore only a little larger than a normal house.

If we are talking spread across three or more floors, maybe a no-no BUT if this is the only child going and the OP wants to squirrel herself away in a room - it will mark her as an oddity - these are her DHs mates - group dynamics are a peculiar thing.

It'd send DH away with his mates, then I'd acquire a disease that rendered me incapable of travel and stay at home.

I don't think anyone is going to enjoy that weekend. I don't think DH should spend the weekend feeling guilty that his wife is on baby watch upstairs, which he probably will do

Mim78 · 08/01/2014 07:41

I would bring baby down in a buggy. Is not the same as being at home.

Gileswithachainsaw · 08/01/2014 07:41

could you not work on the bottle again so you can leave her home with grandma and a supply of BM?

Then just go home in the evening.

JeanSeberg · 08/01/2014 07:47

Let him go on his own if they are his friends or go home in the evening after the day's activity.

The rest if the group might not want a baby at the meal, depending on what these evenings usually turn out like.

CoffeeTea103 · 08/01/2014 07:47

I wouldn't, not worth it.

JeanSeberg · 08/01/2014 07:47

The hotel can't be that small if it has a dining room serving evening meals.

MinesAPintOfTea · 08/01/2014 07:49

How small is the small hotel? I left DS (19months) asleep in a room to finish eating at my brother's wedding, but the "hotel" had 7 rooms, our party were the only guests and we were given the downstairs room 6 steps from the dining room because we had the baby. In other circumstances I would have been less happy to do so.

HoratiaDrelincourt · 08/01/2014 07:51

We attempted similar when DC1 was 15mo, at a hotel which was booked out for a friend's wedding. It didn't work because the signal just didn't carry. I sat with the monitor pressed to my ear for a while before giving up. Antisocial and not enjoyable.

In your case I wouldn't like to chance it. Unless you're very near the restaurant, you would be too far away in the event of fire, you'd take too long to get to her if she cried (poor sad lonely baby) and you might just not get a signal.

HappyAsASandboy · 08/01/2014 07:53

I would settle baby in her pram to sleep, then take her to dinner with you. Then you can leave her in the pram, taken off the chassis and put on the floor, to sleep overnight :)

I really wouldn't leave her in the room. It's not like being at home - you don't know the layout in the event of a fire, the staff will try to make you leave without going back to your room in the event of a fire, many people will have your room key, your baby will know she's not at home and will look for you for reassurance etc.

AwfulMaureen · 08/01/2014 07:54

Do not listen to ANYONE telling you you're being PFB in regards to your instincts about your baby.

Your baby...your choice. I would not leave mine in a hotel room alone....what if there were a fire? No way.

WaxyDaisy · 08/01/2014 07:57

Options:

  1. Don't go if people will mind presence of a baby at dinner or if you feel baby has to go in cot at certain time
  2. Baby in pram with you at dinner
thepobblewhohasnotoes · 08/01/2014 07:59

I agree about bringing her with you. In the buggy, or letting her stay up for a bit.

I would not leave DD (9mo) on her own in a B&b/ hotel. Putting aside the arguments about whether it's safe or not? I would not enjoy the dinner. My instincts would bs screaming for me to go to her, it wouldn't be fun at all,

Your DH needs to support you on this.

petalsandstars · 08/01/2014 07:59

Nope couldn't do it. Baby in pram by the table or I wouldn't go. Too great a risk for me

Gileswithachainsaw · 08/01/2014 08:00

You forgot

  1. Bring someone with you who can baby sit
  1. Try a bottle again and leave home with grandma
OHforDUCKScake · 08/01/2014 08:04

This wouldnt work with my pfb but would have with my second.

Could you wrap her up and put her in her carseat asleep? You can rock it with your foot occasionally.

I know not all babies would be ok with this though.