Sister's hen weekend... Bottle refusing breastfed 7 month old.

[wedontplaywithelectrics]

Just received an invite from my sis to her hen weekend in 7 weeks time which will be a 3 night weekend away on the south coast.
Only problem is I have a 7 month baby who has always refused attempts to introduce the bottle. She is a very hungry girl and still feeds every 3-4 hours including through the night.
AIBU to forewarn my sister that I may not be able to attend?
or would my sister be acting unreasonable to get in a 'huff' with me about it?
My first child was breastfed until 12 months.

thanks in advance ladies xx

You could refuse to go, but at seven months, id go. Even if she only takes half what she usually does in bottles while you are away, she will also be taking in food. Your milk, whilst important, is not her sole source of nutrition.

How is your dp? Is he prepared that she may be fussy while you are away?

Your sister would BU to go in a huff, no question.

Well, my dc2 never ever did take a bottle despite trying every trick in the book.

YANBU. Your sister shouldn't take a huff and WBU to take a huff. However, that doesn't stop huff-takers taking huffs, does it?

Does your DD drink from a cup?

At 7 months she should be eating as well? Does she take a bottle from dh if uve not been there for a few hrs? Or has this not been tried yet?

She nbu to be annoyed, ur nu if u don't go if you have tried. Different people have different priorities etc.

You could go for the day, or try 1 night, or even take dh and baby to stay overnight. Suggestions might help ur sis feel like its an outright no way, bf is more important. Depends on ur sister too.

I'd go anyway.

7 weeks is a long time at that age for things to change and it might be just what you need to get her to change her mind about bottles.

And if not then as a PP said your daughter will have other forms of nutrition by that age and will be fine for a few days with less milk.

Hi op this very sane thing happened to me with dd3 but she was 11months old. I had had enough of bf anyway and wanted to go to the hen night.

2 weeks before the trip I just stopped feeding her. I know that's not tur everyone but I always stop like that with all my 4 as tailing it off just , IMO, prolongs the distress.

Anyway she grizzled a few times, refused a bottle but had a cup.

She was fine and I had a great trip.

Even if you can't stomach leaving DD with no boobies for a whole weekend (bearing in mind other PP's points about other sources of nutrition at that stage), I'd try to make at least one night. It would probably mean a lot to your sister.

She'll be 8-9 months by then and will be eating a lot more solids surely?
For me it would depend how much I wanted to go. If I really did want to go then DC would have to put up with drinking from a cup/bottle + food for that weekend.

If I wasn't to keen then I would use every excuse in the book not to go.

Oh nightmare! Mine was like this and I couldn't go anywhere.
He has just started to accept a cup this last week at 11 months.

He literally would become hysterical if we tried him with anything.

We started out small. I would go out for tea or a cuppa with a friend for 2 or 3 hours leaving him with dh.
He was fine.
Also gave him a cup with water in to chew on at meal times to get him used to handling it.

Now he has it in the day too. His main drinks are from me though.

Good luck x

I couldn't have gone when DD2 was 7 months, she wouldn't take a bottle to save her life (literally, she fell off the percentile graph).

She'd happily take squash from a cup and a pot of yoghurt off DH one night a week and let me go swimming, but no way would she have managed three days until she was about 4.

7 months plus 7 weeks and you're talking about a 9 month old baby. No reason why she shouldn't be eating food and drinking from a cup.

Nutritionally there won't be a problem. If you're not planning on weaning down the breastfeeding as a comfort thing then she may be shocked when you disappear, but won't starve.

DC1 never took a bottle until I tried it one last time before returning to work when he was 8 months. By then he was eating and drinking from a sippy cup so I think it was just another way to get drink.

that said, I would understand if you couldn't make it away as I still bf both DC every morning and night until they were 11 months and I found the build up of milk really uncomfortable if they missed a feed.

YANBU to forewarn your sister - if baby's still feeding in the night by then it might be a big leap to your not being there for 3 nights.

My DSis hen (that I organised!) was when DC3 was 5 months. She refused bottles too. We had always planned it like this but my DH came too and looked after her (we were at a spa) and basically I nipped back to see them every few hours for feeds. It was perfect because I knew she was happy with DH but not far away, and breastfeeding was not compromised!

I would go but not for while thing. Maybe 1 night away. But would be prepared to take dp along too with little one of necessary (obviously not on the actual hen do, but book a room). Not really feasible for whole time as would need to be expressing whole time to keep supply up

My 6m old has also refused a bottle. Just started weaning and she seems more keen on cup so fingers crossed....!

It's more do you want to go? Personally baby will be fine and may even take the bottle/do less night feeds if your not there - babies are cunning little devils at this age and know when we (and are boobs) are not far away. You will need to pump. My just turned 8 month old went on nursing strike for 4 days, last month and now he is feeding fine.

I wouldn't have been able to go away for 3 nights at 7,8 or 9 months. They vary a lot in how much solid food they take at that age and until the age of 1 breastmilk is their first and most important source of nutrition. In fact, I couldn't even do an evening out at 7 months. I missed a girly weekend away when my dd was 11 months, because she was still feeding. My friend didn't get it, I don't think, as she had a baby the same age who she was happy to leave with expressed milk. But at the end of the day, your baby, your choices, do whatever works for you. I know I'd have been worried about an 8 month or so baby, in terms of the separation for that long. Is there any way you could travel to the hen night as a family, and stay nearby so that you can join in the celebration? Otherwise you might just have to arrange to do something different with your sis, book a spa day or something to make up for it.

She definitely won't need a bottle introducing at this age though - have you tried a cup? Sometimes an open cup works better as they can smell the milk and the lapping action is more similar to breastfeeding than sucking on a bottle.

"Just received an invite from my sis to her hen weekend in 7 weeks time which will be a 3 night weekend away on the south coast."
A 3 night weekend ? What the hell happened to the idea of a hen NIGHT (or a stag NIGHT)? TBH I think hens and stags are being very unreasonable to expect other people to devote so much time and money to their nuptials.

I couldn't have done that when dd was that age in fact I still haven't and she's 2 now and I don't think it's unreasonable of you to explain to your sister that you can't stay overnight. Is there anyway you and your dh and baby could go down for the day, you could join the hen party for lunch of something while your dh takes care of the baby? I do think it's hard for people who haven't had kids or haven't bf to understand, but you just have to explain as politely as you can - and of course you have to prioritise your child over your sister, even if she gets in a huff!

Ps also I know someone said nutritionally there won't be a problem, the trouble is you can't know that just yet - every child is different and mine was no way eating enough at that stage to go without bf.

Never mind the breastfeeding and bottle issue-would you be happy to leave her for three nights (and presumably the best part of 3/4 days) by that age?

Tbh, all of mine were on the bottle and sleeping through without milk feeds by 7m so in theory there would have been nothing to stop me going - but I still wouldn't have done an entire weekend away, not with a baby that young.

If I were you I'd try a compromise-is there a 'main night' event planned? (I have been on several weekend away hen nights and there was always one night out of the two or three that was kind of the big celebration, if that makes sense). If so, could you do everything possible to make it to that one day/night and skip everything else?

I think it would be a bit unfair/unreasonable to skip the entire thing (this is your sister, after all) but I don't see why you should have to go to every single part of it with a baby this young. And I doubt you'd be the only one to only come for part of the weekend. All the hen weekends I've been on were before any of us had children but it was pretty commonplace for people to just come along for bits of the weekend if they couldn't make the whole thing.

Of course you have you to go-its your sisters hen do not some random! Your baby will be 9 months old and should be getting nutrition from food too. Express and try a cup.

Personally I wouldn't. I might have gone for a night if I was confident baby was eating enough solids and drinking form a cup well but I wouldn't go for that length of time. For one thing I'd have had to to take a breast pump and express 3 times a day and probably at night too!

It is of course entirely up to you. Your sister would be very unreasonable to go in a huff.