Sister's hen weekend... Bottle refusing breastfed 7 month old.

[wedontplaywithelectrics]

Just received an invite from my sis to her hen weekend in 7 weeks time which will be a 3 night weekend away on the south coast.
Only problem is I have a 7 month baby who has always refused attempts to introduce the bottle. She is a very hungry girl and still feeds every 3-4 hours including through the night.
AIBU to forewarn my sister that I may not be able to attend?
or would my sister be acting unreasonable to get in a 'huff' with me about it?
My first child was breastfed until 12 months.

thanks in advance ladies xx

I had a bottle refuser too. She was exlusively breastfed for a year as refused everything but the breast and it would have been unthinkable to go away for even half a day never mind a few night when she was just 7 months. YADNBU to forewarn your sister.

I had this.

My lovely and long suffering DH came to the town where the hen weekend was and stayed in a hotel nearby (in retrospect an apartment would have been better) and just delivered DS to me when I needed to feed him. I stayed at the hotel at night but was able to do everything else on the hen.

However my DS was only 5 months and by 6 months he was taking a bottle. By then your dd will be, what, 9 months?

If I was your sister id probably be quite hurt if you didn't come and bend over backwards if need be...

I wouldn't go tbh.
And if you were my sister and it was my wedding, I absolutely wouldn't expect you to go.
Just tell her.
If she gets huffy she is being unreasonable.

OMG. Note to self: read the OP amandaclarke.
3 nights!!!!?
Tbh I wouldn't even consider doing that. Absolutely not.

Just to say it's not unreasonable of u not to want to go without baby. My dd is still bfeeding overnight if I'm there. She's much older and eats, drinks from cup etc. but I find I get uncomfortable after 24 hours.

I wouldn't go and my babies were all happy to take bottles.

However, they wouldn't have been happy for me to disappear for 3 days and I wouldn't have been happy to do it.

3 day hen do's are a pain in the arse.

I bet there isn't a single person for whom the whole thing isn't a massive inconvenience.

Dc4 is 9 months and is a bottle refusing breastfeeder.

I introduced solids (tried puree and blw) at 6 months and hes only just managing lunch and dinner. Certainly not enough to go without his bf for 3 days.

No way could i leave him that long.

Im back at work in 2 weeks and am having to change from permanent nights to days for bf.

Plus you'd have to express anyway.

Alot changes in 7 weeks, but, yes, forewarn if you aren't sure you can go. I wouldn't have been comfortable going fir 3 days at that age. Agree with other posters; can you go for one night?

Thanks everyone so far for the feedback. It's useful to hear from a range of different opinions. I think I'll do as others have suggested and attend the 'main' evening do but skip the overnight bits.
I've recently introduced a doidy cup to DD and she is able to take some milk from that, albeit in small amounts. She is very much into the boob for comfort too, so it's not the nutritional side I'm worried about. With my eldest I gradually weaned him off slowly between 10 and 12 months then went straight to cows milk in a flip straw cup. He totally rejected the bottle too, not for lack of trying.

I'd go for some, but not the whole three nights - that's too much for me! Is it a nice bit of the south coast? Somewhere you and DH could go with the baby for a weekend away? Then you can be on hand with your milk should the need arise, and you have someone to give the masses of EBM that you will inevitably produce to. Try a cup - my DD was also a bottle refuser, by 10m she would take EBM from a cup providing I wasn't around.

Ok, so I've explained the situation to my sister as honestly and sensitively as I can

I've said I can come for one evening but not overnight. I've offered to help plan and arrange activities for the weekend. This has been rebuffed.

Judging by her short, sharp, curt responses by text (devoid of kisses) I can only guess that she has TAKEN THE HUFF

:-( :-(

You should be overjoyed. You have a perfect, undeniable and valid reason not to suffer 3 days of utter tedium. Stay home with your family if that is what you would prefer. Unless you really want to go and then it's your choice. I have made baby excuses to get out of such events even though I went back to work after 33 days and ff.

I wouldn't have gone, not for 3 nights!! I had a bottle refuser too and yeah maybe he SHOULD have been on more solid food by 7 months, but guess what, he wasn't. We did BLW and it's only in the past month or so (he's nearly 1) that he's actually started eating proper amounts - before he mainly played with the food and only swallowed small amounts. All babies are different and just because other people's 7mos were fine doesn't mean that's the case for all of them.

3 nights is a LONG hen do, fair enough if that's what people want to do but it's like weddings abroad... you can't then take offence if people can't or won't go.

I wouldn't have gone. Your sister is unreasonable.

I wouldn't have left any of my babies for 3 days at this age, and they were all formula fed and eating 3 (solid) meals a day by then. I was their primary care giver, and that was much more important than a hen weekend.
Honestly, why would anyone expect other people to just give up 3 days of their life like that? Talk about entitled.

I'd stay at home- but I am the kind of person who never leaves her children

She sounds like a bit of a bridezilla. I think you may have got off lightly.

And when I left my breastfed child for three nights... that was the end of breastfeeding forever. He cried for two nights, took the bottle the third night, then totally rejected me.

YANBU, I wouldn't leave my 12 mo ds for 1 night never mind 3. 3 nights is a really long time for a small baby, especially around 9 months when the baby will be naturally becoming more clingy.

I think you do need to go, the idea of a hotel for the whole family and you going to the day time bits and coming back to do a bedtime feed, then going back for the evening, but sleeping at a hotel with your baby is the best option.

3 day hen do with less than 2 months notice is failly unreasonble in itself!

She'll get over it. Just stay calm and stand your ground.
I wouldn't leave my bf child overnight.
I assume your DSis doesn't have DSc. If/ when she does she will experience her biggest cringe to date.

Well, if she doesnt have kids, she genuinely isnt going to uderstand that you cant rather than wont leave him, so maybe you couldall be a little less critical of her.

In fact actually ikea has a good point about the clingy stage. I doubt I would be keen to leave them even if they were not bf tbh.

I wouldn't go, BF or not (and I still was at that stage), I just wouldn't have wanted to be away from them for that length of time. To be honest I can't think of any circumstances where I would want to go on a three night hen weekend though. So your sister is BVU to get in a huff.