to want hubby to get rid of facebook?

[wetwetwetfan]

I have had a facebook account myself so i know how addicitive it is and how it sucks hours and hours away from your life without you even realising it.

i don't mind it in principle, my family all live far away so it can be useful, and he has groups linked to his hobbies to arrange meetings and matches and stuff but...

260 'friends' the majority of which are people he has had no actual contact with in years (about 20 years in some cases).
Yes i know he worked with them once upon a time but so what? Why does he now need to know where they've been on holiday or what a cute cat they've got!??!!

And don't get me started on ex girlfriends... i haven't clapped eyes on any one of my ex boyfriends and have no interest in their lives at all so why does he need to see what a lovely time his exes are having at the zoo with their kids and husbands? It's just weird and although it has always grated on me a little bit it now pisses me off big time. The more i think about it the more it irritates me...

or am i just being controlling? Should i be able to say who he has contact with and who he doesn't?

A bit. Unless he is spending hours and hours on it.

I'd say controlling. Why should you be able to dictate who an adult is in contact with? I'm friends with some old schoolfriends on FB. I haven't seen them in 20 years, but I'm interested to see how they are doing.

Jeez, leave him alone.

Unless you are happy with him telling you who you can see, how to dress, what to do . . . ..

Sounds a bit controlling to me. How much time is he spending in there? I would only say something if it is affecting family life.

You are being controlling, he can do what he wants. Would you like it if he wanted you to get rid of your FB ?

Its not natural that we can look at personal photos of people we hardly know and I think we should refrain from doing it. FB doesn't give a true representation of people's lives - just the good bits. I don't like it. Tell him to stop it & watch a good film with you instead.

well he maybe sees his exes as part of his past but not really wanting them in his lives just a facebook friend it is a bit odd but it is his facebook and if he wants to be pals with a workmate from 20 yrs ago then what harm is it doing, why do you think you should have a say in who he interacts with or not on facebook , I have old friends as friends on it i havent seen them in years,

Its not natural that we can look at personal photos of people we hardly know and I think we should refrain from doing it. FB doesn't give a true representation of people's lives - just the good bits. I don't like it. Tell him to stop it & watch a good film with you instead.

I would say controlling.

You can't dictate who he is friends with, tbh I am surprised on how well you know your partners Facebook account.

It's pretty obvious it's the ex girlfriends which are tweaking your nipples.

You don't have the right to tell another adult to get rid of something or do something to appease you. It's controlling and you need to let it go.

Tell him to stop ?! Wtf?

Everyone's fb is full of people they don't see anymore, so what?

I really don't get your problem, and if my dp 'told me' to get off fb for no other reason than he thought I should I'd tell him to piss off.

och i meant he might just be nosey about his exes I do find that a bit odd but there is no harm in it

I have folk on my facebook i have never met and probably unlikely too,

Yes seems a bit controlling to me. Fair enough if he's spending hours on it and it's intruding on family life, but it doesn't sound like that's the issue here..

Mrsjay me too from online games

Do you still have your fb account op?

Thanks for your replies....i should have said that after a brief discussion about him being on there for ages the other night he offered to get rid. I told him i didn't like facebook (I have got rid of my own account because of the bollocks in it) but i didn't feel that it was fair for him to stop just because i don't like it. He said he doesn't want me to be unhappy and he will stop if i want..

a bit of me wants to think that this is ok but i mostly know that this is really controlling and i shouldn't do it. Thank you for giving me the kick up the arse that i needed.

I deleted my Facebook account a couple of years ago and have never looked back. I spend my free time doing other things now (reading, exercise, MN )

I totally know where you're coming from OP. I think it's much better to live in the here and now rather than spend hours trawling over personal pics of people you knew once upon a time.

I'd be annoyed if my DP was on FB to the detriment of time spent with me/our family. A tactful chat with him along these lines isn't controlling IMO. Telling him unilaterally what he can do in his spare time, however, is another matter!

it does come across as controlling. I have ex partners on mine and so does DP, but we're friends with them so there's zero problem.

YABU.

If DH told me to get rid of Facebook he'd be told to piss off in no uncertain terms.

I've got school friends on there I've not seen in 20 years or more. It's nice to be able to keep in touch easily.

I think its fair to point out how long he is on fb and how it is affecting your relationship.
However, it is controlling and unjust to expect him to delete his account. I don't think you have the right to do this.

I don't have a FB account and my husband does. TBH, I agree with you - I think it's a time-wasting, vapid, voyeuristic phenomenon which seems to promote envy, cause endless teenage drama re updates, tagging, and posting photos of parties to which someone wasn't invited, and to involve people breaching one another's privacy all the time (DM/auntie/SIL or whoever announced my pregnancy/posted my scan photo etc). But I can't tell him how to spend his time, as long as its not having a negative impact on our life as a family.

x-posted with you op. He sounds lovely and you are obv aware of possibility of being controlling...don't think u have much to worry about!

It would be controlling to tell him to get rid of it. I think you are justified in saying something if he spends too much time on it but you should be perhaps asking him to cut back not telling him to cut back or worse, get rid of it. It is his hobby in a way. If he enjoys it and you have no other reason to think that his friendship with ex's or anybody is getting dangerous then you should leave it alone.

I think you are being controlling. I don't get the problem (unless he never talks to you or does anything off the computer).

I love fb. It helps with staying in touch with my scattered close family throughout the world. Through fb, I'm totally up to date with what my nieces and nephews are doing for instance. It means that when I see them once a year we don't have that "so tell me what you've been up to" conversations. We can just dive straight in.

I'm friends with an ex on fb. I was delighted recently to see his wedding pics and a photo of his new wife's growing pregnancy bump. I haven't 'seen' him in over 15 years but I still care.

I'm only friends with people I know or have known and I care about.

I really don't get your issue.