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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be a bit upset this this commuter?

69 replies

Wombat79 · 06/01/2014 18:57

I commute from the surrey/london border into London daily and I am currently 35 weeks pregnant.
On the commute home I never get a seat and we are all jammed in. No one has offered me a seat yet but I'm ok with that. Despite swollen hands and feet and the normal niggles of pregnancy I am doing ok. I am sure there are many others in more need.
I am an outpatient physio so on my feet all day with patients every 30 mins. By the end of the day I am shattered now and a bit more wobbly on my legs so I do like something to at least hold on to/lean on.
Today I was holding on to the bar by the train door and slightly in the exit. In my defence, I had no where else to go as the train was busy. However, by no means was I blocking the exit.
A commuter got of at Norbiton and tutted loudly and pushed me forward into the edge of the door, mumbling that I am in the way of his exit.
Maybe I am just tired and hormonal but I have never asked anyone to give up their seat and just try and get on as normal. I suppose that in 35 weeks the fact that no one has offered a seat up is a bit disappointing (especially on days when my legs/pelvis/back are throbbing and I am over tired) but I really wasn't deliberately blocking this mans exit (maybe I think my bump is smaller than it actually is) and did not feel he should have felt angry enough with me to push me.
Hmmm on writing this maybe IABU and just feel tired and looking forward to not have to fight for a hand hold on my journey (roll on mat leave).
Some commuters are so rude and unpleasant, whatever happened to old fashioned British chivalry?

OP posts:
coffeecups · 06/01/2014 18:59

Don't overthimk it. He was rude. Hope you have your feet up now.

woowoo22 · 06/01/2014 19:01

He's a complete prick. Poor you.

Topseyt · 06/01/2014 19:01

I think he was being rude. How can it be unreasonable to hold onto a bar in the doorway of a busy commuter train when there is nowhere else to be?

I think it is a shame nobody ever offers you a seat, but I can't say I am surprised, unfortunately.

nennypops · 06/01/2014 19:04

It's extremely rude to push anyone, let alone a very pregnant lady standing in the only space available. I'd love to ask him why he couldn't just say "Excuse me" like a reasonable human being.

bigTillyMintspie · 06/01/2014 19:06

How rude of him. Totally out of order pushing anyone, never mind a heavily pregnant woman.

And shame on all those people who haven't offered you a seatAngry

Pumpkinnose · 06/01/2014 19:06

Have you got one of those baby on board badges? Without one even I am nervous to offer a potentially pregnant woman a seat and I always look out for them. I wore one and people were so kind and almost always offered a seat, especially that exact train line.

DownstairsMixUp · 06/01/2014 19:06

I can't believe how many people don't give up seats for heavily pregnant women anymore. YANBU he was a prick.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 06/01/2014 19:07

He was a twat, no doubt.

Next time,give him the 1000 yard stare and imagine what a prick he is the rest of the time.

Poor you, that sounds an awful journey.

Hot bath, tea and telly Grin

everlong · 06/01/2014 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iwilltrythisnamefornow · 06/01/2014 19:07

YANBU, he could quite easily have politely said excuse me but chose to be rude instead. Count down the days to maternity leave, I absolutely loved my time off Grin

HoleyGhost · 06/01/2014 19:08

Ask for a seat

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/01/2014 19:09

Why aren't there more trains? Why are the journeys so terribly over-subscribed all the time? It's not as if the tickets are cheap and everybody knows that rush hour is a busy time. There needs to be more trains!

Avalon · 06/01/2014 19:09

Can you book a seat?

Wombat79 · 06/01/2014 19:09

Thanks everyone, feet up now and all my anger has gone thanks to all your lovely comments :-)

OP posts:
EssexGurl · 06/01/2014 19:10

I was lucky and got free first class travel on my train line when pregnant. Absolute life saver. Can't believe this man was so rude. I am not surprised you were upset. Forget him and enjoy the last few weeks.

Dollslikeyouandme · 06/01/2014 19:11

Yanbu, people can be so rude.

Like you I never expected a seat when pregnant, but I did a daily commute on a busy bus and always had to stand, people would just barge past me and elbow me in the stomach.

The only people who ever did offer me a seat were two teenage lads one day, and people moan about 'kids today'.

HopAlongOnItsOnlyChristmas · 06/01/2014 19:11

He's was rude, YANBU and I hope a pigeon shits on his head.

But if you need a seat, please ask. I'd always give mine up for some on who needed it more.

polarpercy · 06/01/2014 19:12

YANBU, hope you're feeling a bit better and more rested! People can be so impatient, I got rammed in the side with a trolley by a man in Tesco when I was about 35 weeks as I obviously wasn't moving fast enough for him! I shouted at him (not my finest moment), more in shock I think than anger.

Tobagostreet · 06/01/2014 19:13

YANBU! He was being a selfish, spineless, passive-aggressive twunt for pushing and mumbling.

Please, please ask someone for a seat tomorrow! You shouldn't need to stand all the way. I suggest openly asking a bank of 6 seated people if any of them would mind giving you a seat (less chance of you 'targeting' someone who has hidden disability and more chance if someone feeling obliged to help and do a good deed in front of others).

Feet up and a cuppa/bar of choc for you tonight!

DontCallMeDaughter · 06/01/2014 19:14

www.southwesttrains.co.uk/on-board-our-trains.aspx

I'm guessing you are using South West Trains (Norbiton) then you can apply for free First Class travel once you get to 20 weeks. Application form is about half way down the page in the above link.

ZenNudist · 06/01/2014 19:14

What a dick. Hops you gave him dirty look!

37+4 here and suffering SPD. In your position I'd be finding the priority seating and turfing out any able bodied occupants.

You're doing well to be on your feet all day. You must be knackered. Start trying to take it easier eh? Says someone who still hasn't finished work & spent today running round after a toddler

DontCallMeDaughter · 06/01/2014 19:15

Oh and I'd not even bother applying at 35 weeks. Just sit in first class with a baby on board badge and if anyone asks say you're still waiting for your travel pass to come through...

Wombat79 · 06/01/2014 19:17

Avalon - no unfortunately its just a regular commuter train otherwise I would be all over booking a seat.
It is frustrating how the train fares keep going up and I rarely get a seat (maybe another topic).
I did used to wear my baby on board badge but I still didn't get a seat and I just a bit self conscious wearing it then still not being offered a seat. Maybe I should try again.
Still finding the comments lovely and some are really making me giggle.
Thanks again for brightening my evening after the miserable commuter man.

OP posts:
soverylucky · 06/01/2014 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WandaDoff · 06/01/2014 19:20

I think I probably would have punched him & blamed it on my hormones. Horrible man Angry

Poor you.

Here, get your feet up & have some Thanks Brew Cake

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