to be a bit upset this this commuter?

[Wombat79]

I commute from the surrey/london border into London daily and I am currently 35 weeks pregnant.
On the commute home I never get a seat and we are all jammed in. No one has offered me a seat yet but I'm ok with that. Despite swollen hands and feet and the normal niggles of pregnancy I am doing ok. I am sure there are many others in more need.
I am an outpatient physio so on my feet all day with patients every 30 mins. By the end of the day I am shattered now and a bit more wobbly on my legs so I do like something to at least hold on to/lean on.
Today I was holding on to the bar by the train door and slightly in the exit. In my defence, I had no where else to go as the train was busy. However, by no means was I blocking the exit.
A commuter got of at Norbiton and tutted loudly and pushed me forward into the edge of the door, mumbling that I am in the way of his exit.
Maybe I am just tired and hormonal but I have never asked anyone to give up their seat and just try and get on as normal. I suppose that in 35 weeks the fact that no one has offered a seat up is a bit disappointing (especially on days when my legs/pelvis/back are throbbing and I am over tired) but I really wasn't deliberately blocking this mans exit (maybe I think my bump is smaller than it actually is) and did not feel he should have felt angry enough with me to push me.
Hmmm on writing this maybe IABU and just feel tired and looking forward to not have to fight for a hand hold on my journey (roll on mat leave).
Some commuters are so rude and unpleasant, whatever happened to old fashioned British chivalry?

You need to travel with someone like the lovely man I came across the other day. Train was packed, there was an obviously pregnant woman standing and looking distinctly uncomfortable. Said lovely man, who was also standing, announced loudly "Don't worry love, I'm sure that these people sitting down just haven't noticed you're pregnant, I'm sure they don't mean to be rude, one of them must be about to offer you a seat". Cue a couple of red-faced men leaping to their feet, cue sniggers amongst all the standees and general goodwill all round.

It should be sovery!! I found out about it about three days into my mat leave

Of course he was rude. Yanbu.

When I was 38 weeks pregnant I was ambling through a supermarket car park and a car tooted at me, and the guy wound down his window and yelled at me for walking slowly. "I'm 38 weeks pregnant!" I retorted, incredulous, but he just swore at me and swerved past me. The saddest thing about it was that he had two teenage girls in the back.

Agreed soverylucky - unfortunately although I am southwest trains my commute doesn't have a first class section (Strawberry Hill/Richmond train). But really great advice for other commuters, I hope someone who can make the most of that info.

I would have stuck my foot out while he was on his way out. Stupid arsehole!

While I was 6 months pregnant with my dd, I was getting on the train with my ds who was 2 yrs & in a buggy. A woman pushed me from behind & barged on knocking me sideways with the buggy in between the platform & the train. Luckily a man caught me & the pram but my left sandal fell through the gap. So I had to hobble home without a left sandal on. I really wished serious injury & bad karma to that fucking stupid bitch. She saw that I had a buggy & was pregnant but didnt care & didnt apologise.

I was never offered a seat and never refused one either - you need to assert yourself on your baby's behalf

I commuted for 13 years and I zoned out everyone around me. If you Simply ask people will give up their seats willingly (for the most part) but no-one is sat there actively looking round for other people to give their seat to.

You must be knackered though so I hope I don't come across as too harsh. Those people are not ogres - they're not thinking "i'll make her stand". And sometimes (for reasons you can't see) they may really need the seat.

So just ask.

What an arse, hopefully karma will pay him back.

I had a marvelous time shaming rude commuters whilst pregnant. Admittedly I felt very well and only had a 10 min journey. My bump was all out front so you could only tell from the side. I would often be beaten to a seat by someone younger and fitter (invariably a man) and would sigh and turn to the side revealing enormous bump, possibly giving my tummy a little stroke if feeling particularly evil. Ooo, you could often feel the hate wafting onto these people (I'm ooop north) and they always offered me a seat. I like to think it made them a bit less selfish.

Thank goodness for the chap who caught the lady and the pram. I hope karma paid her a lesson too.

YANBU. He was rude and aggressive. Put your feet up and watch trashy TV.

Wombat you are a saint by 30 weeks I was ALWAYS asking people to stand up for me, I was knackered, I could barely walk, I was in agony, the commute was the very worst part of my day and no bloody way would I have stood day after day all the way to and from Surrey, I am only in zone 2 and it did my bloody head in.

Ask for a seat if no one offers, I bet you need it more than 99% of the people on that train. And yes, that man was an utter twat!

Awful man.

When I lived in London some years ago, I was physically and deliberately pushed off a tube train onto the platform by a man I tried to squeeze past to leave the carriage.

His girlfriend was horrified. I ended up, flat on my face, with my shopping bags scattered around me.

The tube bosses called the police but the CCTV wasn't working so the guy couldn't be charged.

I hope his gf dumped him.

Are you fucking kidding me? What bigtilly said.

Start demanding a seat, with a big smile.

Shocking.

Horrible, horrible git of a man - I hope he doesn't have a partner (poor them!)

Agree with others that you should ask for a seat politely

pawprint!

He was awfully rude. I don't blame you for being upset. I used to travel a similar route (Surbiton to Earlsfield) and rarely got a seat once I started showing. Mind you there physically wasn't room most of the time, just enough space to get on and then stuck there in the vestibule! I'm so grateful we moved house before I got too big.

Do try again with your baby on board badge. Perhaps some of the regulars on the train will start to recognise you.

You really need to ask for a seat. I feel awful for you having to stand but its obvious no one is going to make the first move. Think of it as defending your health therefore defending your unborn child. You need to become like Lioness!

And double MsAspreyDiamonds (now reading rest of thread)

He was very rude. I can't believe you are not being offered a seat anyway!

It's no excuse, but I think today was a particularly bad day all round. Everyone around me at work (including me!) was in a fricking grump at being back in the office after Christmas. And it was raining (my walk from office to train is one of the few things that clears my head after a shitty day - the bus doesn't have the same effect).

Definitely ask for a seat. I did when pregnant and always was always given one. People hesitate about offering pregnant women seats as often they worry that they might not at actually be pregnant. Just ask.

Thanks again everyone. I think this thread has made me realise I'm being stupidly stoical and that I'm actually shattered after being in such a busy job and late stages of pregnancy (a trait a lot of pregnant out-patient physio's seem to have going by past pregnant colleagues). Burning the candle at both ends doing a masters and working full time. I'm now in bed with achy pelvis and legs with the resolve to put baby on board badge back on tomorrow. Counting the days to mat leave x

Try being 9 months pregnant and having a tiny bump, nobody makes any exceptions or helps. People forget because I am hardly showing. If I say anything nobody takes me seriously

You know what I'd have done? I'd have made a huge show about being injured and given Norbiton station is just over the road from Kingston Hospital, I'd have asked the idiot who pushed you to help you get there. Nice and loudly, just so everyone overheard...

Seriously, just ask people to move. Again, nice and loudly. People can be so self centred but if you don't deserve a seat, I don't know who does. Good luck with the rest of your PG.

well, he was uneccesarily rude, but in the winter when everyone's all bundled up it can be hard to spot if someone is pregnant, especially if the train is busy.

Being pregnant doesn't mean you have to be a martyr, and to be perfectly honest when you're that pregnant and have a job where you're on your feet all day I really can't think why you wouldn't ask for a seat.

Please ask for help and stop being so English and stoical! I did just what someone upthread suggested when I was pregnant and in need of a seat: I stood by a bank of four blokes and said 'would one of you nice gentlemen like to give me a seat, or I could sit on someone's lap if you prefer'. Queue red faces and a fight to give up their seats to this not particularly sylph-like woman .

Seriously, ask. I cannot comprehend how tired you must be after a day on your feet (mine's a desk-bound job, with its own physical effects).