to be pissed off that they seem to have lots more disposable cash than me?

[JRmumma]

Just to be clear, in not 'benefits bashing' but a friend of mine who chose not to return to work after DC3 as she worked out that tax credits and housing benefit would make her family 'no worse off', seems to have lots more money than me.

To explain my situation, i have 1DC and am on mat leave at present. When i go back to work, we will have less money than we do at the moment after work travel costs and childcare is paid for. I have to go back full time to enable us to survive even though i didn't want to, but accept that children are expensive and needs must. We are also having to seriously cut back on the few luxuries that we currently have (memberships/subscriptions).

Ive just discovered that my friend has just booked her second holiday for this year. Without saying where it is for fear of outing myself, its a v expensive holiday for her and hubby. The other holiday is a European all inclusive jobby for the whole family. All 3 DC also had expensive electronics for Xmas.

This really fucks me off. Where am i going wrong? If they have enough money for exotic holidays and all the latest mod cons, why are they receiving tax credits and housing benefit? And why oh why will the only holiday i get this year be a £9.50 sun holiday if both me and DH work full time and claim nothing?

Are you quite certain that she's on the benefits you think she is? Maybe she is working but doing cash in hand stuff that she feels too embarrassed to tell you about (eg cleaning). Unfortunately due to my peasant genes, I get the feeling that people must think we are on benefits too but that's not the case at all. We don't have a car, we don't have high end appliances or brand name clothing but we do go on overseas holidays.

See why I have a problem now

I can see your problem.

But you must know by now that you can't have a sensible discussion about this on MN because it will be "benefit bashing".
Or you will be just told to stop working by people who seem to have no idea at all.

op, I get what you mean. My neighbour, who claimed single parent benefits, who I knew well, used to say I was mad to work in my minimum wage job, she told me she wouldnt get out of bed for that money, it wouldnt be worth her while. It pissed me off, too.

OP - maybe your friend's DP is not officially living with her. That can sometimes be easy to get away with and can double your income.

Notthefirst - on top of your £229.42 a week do you also get council tax benefit and housing benefit? I am aware that those amounts would go straight towards rent and council tax but they are still income. Obviously the net effect is still the same as your calculations, but your gross income is higher than £229 per week.
Do you get any maintenance from your child's father?

I would love to work even if I was financially not better off from doing so because going to work everyday provides social interactions and a boost to my self esteem to know that I am earning my money rather then being handed it from the state. Unfortunately I don't have that option because I have a child with severe and complex disabilities who requires full time care and it would cost me £25 per hour for his care if I was to get a job (more than I would earn). Fortunately my husband does work, even though he hates his job and is constantly stressed and worn out. But it is important that one of us works even if the financial rewards are not a great deal.
I think the grass always looks greener on the other side.

Think you're on dangerous ground here op. We all get luck in different ways. As the old saying goes thinking the grass is greener on the other side and always looking over the fence pining for someone else's life is not a good place to be in. Water your own grass and be thankful for your own little patch.

Yes SJ now ive had time to think about it i realise that the grass is not always greener and actually, i do not envy my friends life in the wider sense.

Ive always been a long term planning person and i know we've only got to where we are now because of that. A few lean years are what's needed to fulfil the bigger picture of a stable long term future for me and my family.

When I look back and consider that me and DH did all of our amazing big holidays before we settled down and started a family, plus still managed to get together enough money for a mortgage and a wedding, it is obvious that we are altogether better off.

To sum up (and at this point im out of the thred as its taken a bit of a turn I didn't expect somewhat naively) it DOES definitely pay to work even though i wish i could stay at home with my little one for now. Its just a sacrifice ill have to make to make his life better in the long run.

*thread

OP - maybe your friend's DP is not officially living with her. That can sometimes be easy to get away with and can double your income

It's not easy,and no it can't

Further to a post earlier...,

I still have to pay for the school residential trip despite being on benefits. It seems that this is not uniform across all schools though going by the post further down.

DS is supposed to be going to the Isle of Wight in June with the school. I have been paying £25 a month since June last year...., total cost will be £350,

So it isn't always a given that if you are on benefits you don't pay for trips. Tbh, I have no problem with this, exH is helping with the cost and the £350 is goid value for what the children will get in terms of educational visits and independence.

"Lougle spot on!
Total Income: £229.42 per week.

So the things I now pay for in work are; £42 to pay for my rent and council tax. £40 to pay for petrol to get to work. Insurance and car tax -no idea.£10 a week for school lunches.
So that's easily over £90 .
Leaving me a conservative £139 a week.

On JSA I get £70 plus £64 child tax credit= £134.
On JSA I don't need to pay for any of the above. I don't have to get up at 6am to walk the dog.I don't have to worry about the car tyres needing replacing.I don't have to pay £250 for a school residential trip. I can attend school assemblies/sports days etc."

If that leaves you £139 per week, after all the 'extra' expenses of having a job, and you would have received £134 on a combination of tax credits and JSA, then you are still better off in work, by £5 per week/£20 per month.

You have the choice to swap the school dinners for packed lunches, also.

You originally said "I think the point is holiday or no holiday you aren't better off in work. "

But you are, by £20 per month.

It's not a lot, but it is better off.

DH works 2 jobs, totaling 30 hours, to allow flexibility for when DD1 is off school.

If he takes an extra hour of work on, after deductions, council tax rebate deductions, housing benefit deductions, child and working tax credit deductions, he is paid £0.50 per hour.

It's not a lot, but it is better off. I would agree that it's not 'worth it', but the assertion from many up thread, is that being in work pays less than benefits , which you have just demonstrated is not true.

If you were on JSA wouldnt you still spend some money on transport ? I.e. school run and interviews or do they pay you transport for interviews?

We have tax credits and had a very expensive holiday this year. We had it because of dla I and my dd are disabled my dd highly so not everyone knows I too am disabled as it is a invisible disability and I am advised not to work ATM as it will deteriorate my condition. My friends both work and are evil that we went on such a expensive holiday however they spend at least £50 a week on alcohol.

As I am unable to work ATM I'm going to college hopefully this September to re train. I am very scrgal and my Dh earns below the national average but we choose to live in a cheap area where you can buy a nice house for under 100 grand.

Oh and believe me I would gladly prefer not to have dla and be healthy and dd be healthy than a solitary nice holiday.

Lougle I didn't know that! I stand corrected

Lougle.

Your very right, so few people don't know how the disregard system works so just don't get that work does pay.

Ahhhh sleep deprived brain.

So many

Personally I would rather be you than be her OP Benefit life isn't fun at all and benefits barely cover living never mind holidays. I can't even afford heating.

Do not be jealous, you don't know where the money as come from. They could be in so much debt.

I'd feel lucky to be you.

I'm a single mum who has to claim benefits when sons dad walked out on us. It's been a very hard 2 years. Yes I have a big TV, Xbox etc but these were purchased with money I came into years ago.

Do not envy people on benefits as its very likely they are feeling the same about you

Thank you, HollaAtMeBaby - it's not your fault. People only get told the propoganda. They rarely get told the whole truth.