To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

[LessMissAbs]

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

I'm thinking the reason that you didn't notice the phone is because she was turning it away from YOU so as not to bother you, but was instead bothering her neighbour.

I agree with the majority. Drives me flippen nuts. Especially if the person is a few rows down. The bright light in my peripheral vision, even when focused on a good movie, is incredibly distracting.

I think this woman was maybe already agitated, but definitely was "booming" in order to shame your friend. And I would yes, notice the voice and be annoyed by it, but not because of the voice itself, but because the woman HAD to do it because your friend was rude. I would 100% blame your friend for the voice whether I noticed the light or not.

I've no doubt if you had ever been bothered by phone lights you would have been annoyed at whoever caused the woman to speak so loudly, rather than the woman herself. It's most likely because she's your friend you think it was irrational.

Did you read my post Caitlin? About my dc having autism. Are cinemas not for me then because of those circumstances?

Episode- and I'd tell you to grow up, learn some consideration and get some manners if you had the cheek to tell me to get a life.

This sort of thing drives me loopy. Not so much the act itself but the selfish, thoughtless attitude it stems from and - invariably- the petulant, vindictive aggression when confronted.

It's amazing isn't it, that day in day out people go to the theatre, concerts, opera, ballet etc and 99% of them manage not to behave like twats. Why are there so many people who seem to think the cinema is different?

Probably have gone soft if I'm being regarded as passive aggressive. Would prefer to be downright rude.

My point, if not well made, is that there are certain behaviours that are exceptionally irritating for others in society and while you can't completely avoid every one of these there are some that common courtesy would suggest you don't do. I would argue that not introducing light/noise into a cinema is one.

The attitude of "it doesn't bother me so I don't care if it bothers anyone else" leads to everyone behaving however they want without any thought of anyone else.

If you have to text or call home, go and do it in the lobby. Needing to check on your kids = OK, doing that by distracting others and shining a bright light around = not OK.

Dear god. I'm going to bed.

oh get a grip - if anyone thought their kids couldn't be left, they probably wouldn't leave them. there is always a 'what if' even with a competent babysitter. i have anxiety issues does that make it any better? not that i give a fuck. i find it hard to believe a phone bothers anyone so much in a CINEMA if it's out for a split second.

p.s. I have checked my phone before as well. Usually when a family member is sick and I'm making sure they're okay. I always do so in my handbag with the phone pointing straight up. Thanks to notification lights this isn't necessary anymore and I just check the tiny blinking light.

If the woman had said that to me I would have spoken to her afterwards as well... except I would have apologised profusely for bothering her and explained the situation while again accepting I was totally at fault.

I check my phone. If I need to text or call, I do of course go to the lobby. I've never seen anyone do otherwise apart from in Abu Dhabi where it seems to be perfectly acceptable to have long convos on your mobile in the middle of Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 .

Checking your phone briefly does not equate to texting or making calls.

If you have to text or call home, go and do it in the lobby

To be fair, I think I'd prefer someone to just get on with the texting rather than make me get out of my seat twice and risk dropping my Revels.

Exactly sequins.

i encounter much ruder behaviour at work - when customers won't get off their fucking mobiles for just a second to give me their full attention for JUST A SECOND

Somewhat horrified at the suggestion that Vampyre doesn't get to go out and enjoy herself because her dc have autism

I can't say I have ever noticed a light from a phone in a cinema. In fact, the only time I've ever been annoyed is when someone kept kicking the back of my seat, and even then it was resolved by turning round and glaring at them for several seconds.

I don't think I'm a particularly tolerant person either, in fact I would have said quite the opposite. But there are so many things that people might do in a cinema that might slightly irritate you, if you don't tune them out, you'd find the whole experience totally stressful.

What does irritate me though is people actually interrupting my viewing by directing comments at or close to me. As I found out tonight.

Me too, hmc. I think it's Sparkly that isn't allowed to enjoy the cinema because of this though.

Another example of what I was saying earlierVampyr, I think some people are surgically attached the their phones!

That's me hmc but I was pretty horrified too.

Sorry I meant SSS (keep confusing people - think I need to go to bed too!)

And I'm pretty sure I have been sat next to people texting during films. Its just never been an issue for me.

God there is nothing worse than someone looking at their phone in a cinema. I am regular (twice a week) and yes it is extremely distracting and I agree with another poster you do get tense cos you don't know how long they will be using their phone.

As for the lady booming at your friend - she probably did it to embarrass her into doing repeating it. I have had to do similar things before because of selfish people like your friend who think it is ok to ruin the movie for other people. The whole point of going to see a movie is to be entertained by the movie, engage with the characters and connect with the story beyond the obvious visual effects so any distraction can break that connection and does then annoy the person.

If anyone has seen Gravity you can surely understand what I mean by this because any noise or phone fiddling would of ruined the movie - infact when I went to watch it I have never seen such a well behaved audience - noone dared make any noise, even the popcorn munchers.

I swear a film on average is 1.30 -2 hrs long is it really that hard to be separated from your phone for that amount of time

I don't see how it can be that annoying. I don't have a watch either and have looked at the time on a phone in the cinema before (keep phone inside the bag to do it but never thought that it might be annoying to anyone). I don't do it out of any need to know the time but because I am bored and want to know roughly how much longer I might have to get through! (don't do it in good films therefore).

The thing is there are other things that people do in cinemas that are far more distracting but nobody would say are unreasonable because they are part of accepted cinema culture. Sweet wrappers, crunching and slurping in a cinema are, imo, completely unacceptable and very distracting. Hardly anybody should need to eat during a 2-3 hour film. But, because the accepted norm is that you can do this I could never complain about that and just keep it to myself.

A check of the time (which, let's face it, takes 2 seconds) vs somebody crunching their way through an entire family sized box of popcorn - which is more annoying really?!

Wow I have really learnt something from this thread. I had no idea checking your phone in the cinema affected others so much. I think maybe I go to a rubbish cinema. It's never pitch black as it's quite small so the light from the big screen lights up the seats. I recently went to the cinema as my first evening out away from ds. Checked my phone pretty obsessionally throughout. Hope I didn't spoil anyone's enjoyment of the film.

I totally wouldn't even notice and that's the truth. I was more disturbed by the woman who brought her baby to see hangover 3 at 9pm, complete with pram and all.

I also check my phone (discretely) as obviously you have to have it on silent and I like to check I'm not missing any child related emergencies at home