Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

999 replies

LessMissAbs · 03/01/2014 23:29

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/01/2014 10:10

I am so glad I never go to the cinema after reading all this, it really confirms my thoughts of what a crap experience it is.

Lots of strangers in a close confined space having to behave considerately never works-same as being on a plane.

RedactedEdition · 04/01/2014 10:11

Harold .....not as annoying as all the couples making out in the back row because it wan't "done" in public, back then!! Grin

bruffin · 04/01/2014 10:13

Newbluecoat.
Why cant you stick your phone on vibrate, sit near door and nip out if it goes off. Youu dont need to keep getting your phone out to check it. Surely your baby sitter would only contact you if it was an emergency and you cant deal with that from inside the cinema
Ive had emergency, i went outside to sort it out.
Not sure why people keep going on about small light. The light can be seen all over the cinema and it is strong enough to light up your face if you are at the bottom looking up. By the way im not saying that i stand at the bottom but i had to complain to a security guard about someone using their phone for half an hour and you could easily see who she was from the bottom of the cinema. Every body behind her was disturbed which made them fidgety as they were trying to move about to stop the light shining in their eyes. It was Rush so hardly a boring film.

HaroldTheGoat · 04/01/2014 10:14

I go every now and again sparkling and it'd always a haven of peace and love.

Everyone just comes to MN to get their rage on. Grin

HaroldTheGoat · 04/01/2014 10:15

In yes'm you don't see any snogging now do you?

When I was a teenager the back 2 rows would be highly dubious.

bruffin · 04/01/2014 10:16

Harold .....not as annoying as all the couples making out in the back row because it wan't "done" in public, back then
There was a couple at the cinema recently who sat at the bottom, deliberately putting on a display for the rest of the cinema. They were taking selfies all the way through the film, making out, feet up on the back of the seat in front, talking and laughing. They got chucked out and he had the nerve to bow on the way out.

LittleTulip · 04/01/2014 10:16

I told a young lad off a couple of weeks ago who kept repeatedly checking his phone during a film at the cinema. And I'm bloody glad I did the shining phone light in a cinema is bloody annoying!!

Lilacroses · 04/01/2014 10:17

I wouldn't have said anything if someone checked their phone once but if they continually did so it would really annoy me. If she literally looked at it once then I think the woman was ott but if it was repeatedly I totally understand why she said something.

Binkybix · 04/01/2014 10:18

I agree with you Bluecoat When you have a genuine reason for needing to check it's ridiculous to suggest you shouldn't go to Cinema.

However, if you just can't be without Facebook, Twitter etc then maybe one should think twice!!

comingintomyown · 04/01/2014 10:19

Since you didn't notice your friends phone in the first place for all you know she was checking it constantly which I think anybody nearby would find irritating especially during a film like All Is Lost .

I think you and your friend were in the wrong and certainly approaching the woman afterwards was out of order

Anyway another AIBU where the OP refuses to see that yes indeed YABU

AGoodPirate · 04/01/2014 10:20

Your friend wasn't very U, because she might not have realised the light was annoying. The woman wasn't being very U, because if it was spoiling her visit, it's fair enough for her to have become cross.
I think you were quite U because when someone tells you you are upsetting them, with something minor, it is gracious to stop whatever you're doing and apologise, not tell them that they're wrong to be upset. You don't get to decide what spoils the cinema for her. Also, you should have just kept out of it. Why prolong the argument? Why get involved at all? Go in peace. Better for your blood pressure.

CinderellaRockefeller · 04/01/2014 10:22

Do people get less irrirtated by people going outside to check phones with all the attendant excuse mes, needed to scrunch your legs to the side, views being temporarily blocked etc. Then a repeat on the way back. Far more disturbing than a quick flash of screen.

A woman glared at DH for messing about with a phone before the performance had bloody started when we went to see Richard II in the cinema recently. Is that a breech of etiquette as well?

bruffin · 04/01/2014 10:24

Binkybox, Bluecoat
Have you not heard of the vibrate function. You dont need to keep getting the phone out to check it whatever your circumstances

Weller · 04/01/2014 10:26

A few weeks ago it would of been a non issue for me, but having been the cinema over Christmas and this happened to me. A teenager kept checking his phone, it would not of been a problem but it was the way he twisted his phone while turning on and straight at me. I sat quietly annoyed but I wish I had spoke up. I need to have my phone on all the time but I have it in a phone sock and on vibrate and in my hand while at the cinema.

30SecondsToMarsBars · 04/01/2014 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheOneWithTheNicestSmile · 04/01/2014 10:28

I'm amazed so many people saying they have to have their phones on to make sure their kids are ok. What did anxious parents do before mobile phones? Never go out, or leave their seats to find a callbox to ring home every few minutes?

Binkybix · 04/01/2014 10:37

bruffin did you not read the bit of my post where I said there was no need to get your phone out to check it? You can do it from bag without light showing.

Personally I think it's less disturbing than a phone vibrating, but I don't care which way people do it if they have a genuine need to check.

I turn my phone off.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 04/01/2014 10:41

When an OP comes across as quite forthright on MN, I do tend to not believe that they were a paragon of virtue in the situation described.

NewBlueCoat · 04/01/2014 10:48

Bruffin, clearly you have never been in the position where you have to check your phone constantly. It is my that I have to check whether I have been contacted, bit to make sure I have a signal so that I can be contacted. Cinemas are large indoor spaces, and often the signal is dodgy. It's no good sitting there waiting for a cal that can never come because the signal has failed.

I have had to step out before to regain signal to check I haven't been contacted. I can only do that if I know I need to, hence checking my phone as surely that second of lift is a lot less distracting than getting up and walking out (which I do if necessary, obviously)

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/01/2014 10:49

is this another MN Bingo thread?

katese11 · 04/01/2014 10:49

Must admit I check the time during films because I get a bit bored during slow-moving films (my New Year's Resolution is to get better at this). I also see a lot of films I wouldn't choose for myself because I write for a film review site and get assigned them...BUT I am very adept at checking the time inside my bag, discreetly and without leaking light.

(Except during Movie 43, where I had my phone out blatantly and was on the imdb synposis trying to work out just how much of this crap I had left to sit through. But given the only other person in the cinema was my sleeping 6mo, I think it was OK)

LilMissSunshine9 · 04/01/2014 10:50

this thread isnt just a fuss over nothing its about manners and consideration for other people in a social environment. And I not some uptight person taking the moral high ground who thinks you should ait rigidly in the cinema n not dare to make a noise. Cinemas make it clear to not use ur phone during a film because it is annoying and bexause they want you to focus on the movie and be immersed in the story. Thats the rules at the end of the day if you cant stay off your phone then you must accept the consequences that you wil either have someone tell you to stop or you will get ejected out of the cinema.

This obession of having to check phones constantly has caused us to start accepting bad manners and thinking that its ok and there are plenty of studies into this.

People who need to have their phones on just put it on vibrate so you don't need to constantly look at it.

For those who say it was just once and only a second that is enough to distract other people. Would these same people then say the same if someone who was driving did that and then caused an accident - sure you will say the situation is widly different but what it comes down to is people not being able to leave their phones alone for a short period of time.

NewBlueCoat · 04/01/2014 10:51

Binky, agree that use of Facebook, Twitter etc would be really annoying!

bruffin · 04/01/2014 10:51

Binky a phone vibrating on a soft surface ie against your clothes doesnt make a noise, its only when its on a hard surface that it makes a lot of noise and it shouldnt be going off every few minutes, or however often you need to check your phone. If your checking it in the bag, how often would it need to be checked?

if someone can actually check without getting it out of their bag and not disturbing anyone then fine, but we are talking about lights shining in the cinema being a distraction. These people are taking their phones out and looking at them. It is a light that disturbs other people in the cinema. Some people are more disturbed by sound, rustling sweets etc, that doesnt bother me but i rarely buy sweets or popcorn at the cinema now and can be legitimately taken into cinema. My friend did get annoyed with a West End Theatre selling crisps and the person next to her sat an munched all the way through Blood Brothers.

bruffin · 04/01/2014 10:59

Bruffin, clearly you have never been in the position where you have to check your phone constant
How do you bloody know? You have no idea what has gone on in my life over the last few years. I've been in a situation at the cinema i hope you never know because i was in an really truely awful situation, trying not to upset my teenage dd. We were at a very expensive special screening, but trying to sort out problems at home I went outside to sort it out the best i could.