To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

[LessMissAbs]

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

Blueuggboots if you told someone to shut up my kids would tell you you were being rude too. Basic manners are disappearing, and I don't think you're helping by shouting. There are more mannerly ways (and less distracting ways) to ask people to stop.
I'd get annoyed at kids running around too, but that's a completely different league to the op situation.

Wrt to checking on your children - do you all have your phone on at work as well? I am a teacher so my phone is off during lessons. From morning reg to break it is 2.5 hours - similar to the length of a film. I can't keep getting my phone out to check that my toddler hasn't come to harm in that time and I don't do it in the cinema either. I don't think it's a huge deal, but it is unnecessary (except obviously the poster waiting on a transplant which is different).

I hate the cinema because of people eating, talking, checking phones etc.

I only go to a small independent one, where there is wine

If I have paid £11for a ticket, I don't want to be disturbed.

As mentioned earlier, some people find rustling sweet papers annoying, or people accidentally kicking the back of the seat, or a hundred other things that can happen when a couple of hundred people are in a room together. But nobody us being boomed at for that

And the reason why people don't "boom" or even ask in a hushed voice, for others to stop kicking seats, talking, checking phones or texting (with keypad sounds ON!), rustling sweet wrappers or any of the other really annoying bad mannered distracting activities instead of watching the film -- the reason why you haven't been "boomed" at is because:

other people are far politer than the OP, and think that they'll just grin and bear it, rather than adding to the disturbance by asking the OP to be considerate.

So there are probably people around the OP suffering in silence because they have good manners -- that is, they are considerate of others, and put others' comfort before their own.

Perhaps if all the polite considerate people actually started making a fuss, you and the OP would see what is unacceptable.

The self-centred "me, me, me" on this thread is really depressing ...

Don't remember don't remember much about those days actually [Grin]

upthechimney you're talking about a different level of disturbance from me, like texting with tones or repeatedly kicking a seat. I'm talking about someone checking a phone a couple of times, or opening sweets. Like the op situation. I think the reaction to that is over the top.

And I th

And I think it's a bit me-me-me to expect everyone in the cinema to find it unacceptable that some

I suggest you buy your friend a cheap watch,

Oh ffs. for some people to find it unacceptable that others might continue with other activities like eating or moving while in the cinema. Like I said, you're in a room with a couple of hundred other people, there's an acceptable level of other things going on.
For the record, I don't text during films, I don't get up and move around, and I tell my children to behave.

If she checked her phone once then the women needs to get a life, if it was several times YABU

We don't know how often she was checking her phone though. If it was only quickly glancing at it a couple of times an hour I doubt the woman would have complained.
Putting a phone on is like turning on a torch in a cinema. You can use special dim settings but few people bother.

Makes me wonder how my parents managed in the seventies. They left us with a babysitter and went to the cinema, and there was no way of contacting them.

I see no one has bothered to answer sparkly's point as to why she checks her phone. And I also notice that only a couple of people had the decency to be horrified at the suggestion that someone with an already complicated life should isolate themselves further so as not to slightly inconvenience others.

I was on the Hobbit cinema thread too, and explained on there why I have to check my phone. However, when I described my eldest a child's distress and extreme meltdown ( she is 9 and has severe ASD) it was likened to a toddler 'having a tantrum at being left with a babysitter'

So much for society being better at understanding that some people have complicated and difficult lives.

The repercussions of my last attempted trip to the cinema (where I checked my phone once, to see if I had a signal, and then stepped out quicksmart when it vibrated to take the call) took months for my dd to get over.

Clearly most of you think I should give up all attempts at having a night off, as it might disturb you for a couple of seconds. Bollocks to that. My life is disrupted an disturbed enough, thanks. If going out means that I have to periodically check my phone (to ensure I have signal coverage) ten that is what I will do. If I hadn't been able to take the call on the visit described above, I dread to think what state dd1 would have been when I got home.

Well moving is ok of course, but if you're moving enough to kick someone's seat in front repeatedly then of course that's not acceptable. If you jostled someone's arm once and whispered 'sorry' of course that would be fine, but doing it repeatedly would just be annoying.

I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to shut up for two hours and not check their phones.

Sometimes I move, sometimes I tell the staff and now and then I tell the morons to stop doing it, which always works - I think they're shocked someone has the nerve to confront them.

You said in your OP you hadn't noticed her doing it, and the woman's reaction suggests it wasn't just once. I have leaned forward to the person in front and hissed "put it away" (she did - DS was mortified ) when they got their phone out for the 3rd time during a film. Had she given me lip I'd have reported her.

It is horrendously expensive to go to the cinema and the light of a phone is very distracting. Pages of posters saying you were both very rude and you keep saying no we weren't.

Phones in cinemas are very annoying. Not keen on smelly food either. Popcorn and sweets are in my 'grin and bear it' camp. But haven't been for three years due to small child. OP, your friend was in the wrong.

Really don't understand people who are distracted so easily. Be more tolerant and get a grip, it's a light that shone for 2 seconds. Did it break the magic of the illusion for you

More distracting for someone to walk in front of the screen (twice) to leave and come back surely??

Perhaps they should have special showings. Like they have Mother and Baby, and Seniors they should have showings for people who like to check their phones a lot? The place would be lit up like daylight.

NewblueCoat. It's fine of course to check your phone for those reasons, and it sounds as though people were very unfair to you on the Hobbit thread.

You can check you have signal before film starts and check phone from bag so the light doesn't come out, and then leave to take a call.

OP (thinks) her friend was just checking the time, so not the same situation.

I've managed to check my phone in my bag without casting a single ray of light out and not annoy anyone.

And if it was the seventies we might not be checking phones but we would be smoking and making extreme swishing noises with out flared trousers. Bet that was annoying.

Binky, no not the same situation as the OP. I was responding to further posts made on the thread, and also to the suggestion up thread that someone Ina similar situation should maybe reconsider whether cinema/theatre trips are a good idea due to the need to check phone.

Of course I try to keep disruption to a minimum. But I won't stop checking my phone, as no, it isn't possible to trust tha my children are ok for 2 hours or so. That's just my life.

By why should people have to be tolerant of someone just wanting to compulsively check their phone in the cinema mew? In my experience it's never once and it's never for 2 seconds. The fact is it does distract me and many others and for the most part it's completely unnecessary.

It's different if for reasons like Bluecoat's, but you can still check without getting the whole phone out.