To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

[LessMissAbs]

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

I'm probably on my own here, but I think food should be banned too except during the adverts and the beginning. Most of us HATE food noise so it's even worse in the cinema, rustling and people scraping the bottom of the packet for that last malteaser they simply must have. And Pringles! Noisiest food ever. Suppose it makes them a fortune though. Isn't popcorn marked up by like 400%?

And I'm sorry but people who say they need to check on their kids... Don't you have vibrate? Phone could be in your pocket, if the sitter needs you'd they could text. If it vibrates check it. If not leave it alone?!

Why bother asking whether or not YABU if you aren't going to accept the answer? The majority of posters have told you that they would have found your friends behaviour disruptive and inconsiderate.

I certainly don't think trying to get the last word in with the poor woman whose enjoyment of the film you disrupted gives you the moral high ground.

Balls to this, LessMiss, but your obnoxious friend is one of the reasons I no longer fork out megabucks to go to the cinema anymore.

I would've told her to stick it up her arse sideways.

Last time I was in the cinema, there was some loony woman taking photos of the film for a good 20 minutes before I told her to 'stop fucking doing that'. She was sitting right behind me and obviously the flash was going off.

Time before that, some dude puked on himself and then just moved seats. He nearly set off a chain-puking reaction amongst the other patrons.

I miss going to the BFI where pick n mix is also banned. Besides, anyone with any sense knows you buy Haribo beforehand and smuggle it in in your pants. Fuck cinema prices on snacks too.

Quiet snacks, I might add.

Phone lights are very bright. Did you not see all the ads they play beforehand to TURN THAT SHIT OFF? Or does it not apply to you and your princess friend?

I miss the old days with the psychotic ushers who threatened to give you a clip round the ear if you so much as cleared your throat. Never thought I'd say that.

God, I'm old.

It pointed out how ridiculous your point was, by using the same logic in an audio setting, rather than a visual one, Amberleaf. HTH

No it didn't.

The scenario you describe is totally different and most people would agree that it would be distracting and unacceptable.

Unlike what happened with the OPs friend.

of course, she was quite right to complain loudly in an attempt, futile I imagine, to try and impress upon your rather silly friend that she was behaving badly.

If we all did this to these anti social types, who cannot master the vibrate button on their 'phone, then situations such as the ones described where people talk into one in the middle of a carol service, would cease to happen.

it may or may not take a village to raise a child but it certainly takes a society to point out how to behave to those who are bewildered by the concept.

You and your friend were ignorant in addition to being unreasonable.

Why do people keep mentioning vibrate? The OPs friends phone didn't ring , it was a completely different scenario.

If her phone had rung Id say she was unreasonable, but it didn't did it?

There is a big difference anti social behavior wise in a persons phone ringing and being looked at.

The comment that amused me most while reading through this thread was along the lines of - if you want to check your phone go out to the foyer to do it. Please correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't that actually disturb people more than a light on a phone screen for a few seconds ?
I probably wouldn't notice either happening though cos I'm usually asleep by about ten minutes into the film.

If I want to see a film I wait for it to come out on dvd.

Its usually no more than a £1 or two more expensive.
I get to keep it.
I can watch it in complete and utter silence while naked if I choose.
I can go on toilet, fag and screaming kids breaks without missing anything.
I can eat, drink, burp and fart at leisure.

I think people tend to have less tolerance when they're at the cinema. I took dd2 to a SN friendly showing of the Smurfs. The woman in front was getting annoyed with dd saying hello to her kids between the seats.(I'm not precious about dd. I know its annoying. Which is why I take her to special showings in the hope parents of similar children will be tolerant. The last time we went dd wandered off and came back with twin girls. They all sat on two seats holding hands and being as good as gold. It was lovely.) After the 3rd complaint I couldnt stand it anymore and we left. Maybe I should have said something about her playing Temple run on her phone.

Good on that woman.

"it was kind of as a tension reliever, as that makes sense."

Even by your own admission it was something which took your friends attention from the movie.

amber if you haven't noticed, people on this topic are condoning checking on their phone because they have children.

But that has nothing to do with the situation in the OP. [wasn't just your post I was talking about]

What makes you think that people who have their phone on because of children with babysitters don't have their phones on vibrate?

I've noticed people on their phones during a film, not because it distracted me but because I happened to look at that point, I've never found them a problem. I do check my phone for the time or other things, I have a bad back and sitting that long gets uncomfortable so I like to see how much longer I have. If I need the loo I try to judge whether I can make it or best to wait. Sometimes I just need the distraction. My screen is set to low anyway because I get migraines and I keep it in my bag or pocket whilst the screen is on and it's always set to silent in a film.

I don't generally worry what everyone else is doing, although the running commentary from the couple next to us during WWZ was rather annoying and I did say something about if I wanted a running commentary I'd have stayed home and read Wiki.

amber if they have their phones on their vibrate they have no excuse to keep checking it have they.

And sorry, wasn't aware we always have to stick to the OP in topics.

OP, YABVU. By your own admission your friend is a nervous fidget and so it probably wasn't the first time she'd looked at the phone and she probably was "playing"with it-not as in games but as in how a man "plays"with his balls. Of course the woman couldn't wait till the end to complain-she had to make her stop!

DoYou as I said I wasn't talking about your post. The OPs situation was being compared to phones on vibrate. so back at ya.

Why bother going to the cinema - seriously someone please bloody explain why they go and pay to see a movie and then think its ok to pull out their phone and check it. Are you so bloody important that everyone demands your attention

Isn't the whole point of going to a movie to immerse yourself and be entertained - to escape from real life for an hour or two and with powerful movies like Inception they need your full concentration. Why the heck do you think cinemas are so dark for? It is so you can focus on the movie - therefore any light outside of the main screen can be distracting to people.

If it was acceptable to use your phone in the cinema then why would film companies spend money on producing an announcement telling you to turn your phone off?

Fine put your phone on vibrate if you are worried about children etc. just don't pull it out and have your screen lit up and like I said if you seriously cannot go without an hour or so of checking your phone then at least do it in a bag under a coat or something so that the screen light is not visible to everyone else. It's called CONSIDERATION and not being self centered.

For all the benefits phone provide us it has really impacted on our social behaviours and not for better IMHO.

My local cinema has a specific warning about annoying others with light pollution from screens. At the very least your friwnd ciuld have turned down the brightness. However what she really needs to do is get a frigging watch. Maybe they'll sell them in the same shop where you go to get your grip?

It's ver annoying if someone is constantly lighting up their phones yes but I was chastised the other week the second I switched mind in just to text "7.30" to dh.
He was collecting us after visiting his grandad in a hospice and dd and I had gone to pics while he did so. We weren't in out own town and it was a 45 min drive to pick us up so he did need to know.

Wouldn't you have to light up a watch too?

No, you were the only rude person in the scenario I'm afraid. Very rude in fact, and bizarrely oblivious to your friend's behaviour. Your friend sounds like a twit.

You're actually supposed to switch off the phone before the film starts, most wouldn't mind (going by past threads on this subject) if is on vibrate in case of emergency, however.

This reminds me of the Hobbit mobile phone thread I read last week. Will see if I can find the thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1949912-God-I-HATE-being-unjustly-accused?

Those of you who think it is OK to use a phone whether to check the time or to check on children do you think those expensive ads by Orange about not letting a phone spoil your film didn't apply to you? Or the more mundane ones which have replaced them?

Also would you behave like this in
1 a theatre?
2 a seated non - classical concert?
3 a classical concert?
4 a ballet or opera?

If not , why make an exception for a cinema?