Can't believe what I am reading...

[SmileItsANewYear]

Some people think that it's ok to give a child alcohol (as long as over the age of 5)

What the actual fuck?

The research I've read suggests that the earlier children come into contact with alcohol, the more likely they are to have drink problems later. However, this is confounded by the fact that kids are more likely to be introduced to alcohol young if they come from a household of drinkers, which may actually be much more important a factor, for both genetic and cultural reasons.
My family had a very prohibitive culture with alcohol, and it led to a lot of problems later. It made us think that alcohol was a Big Deal, so we sought it out at every opportunity.
My advice is pretty simple. Don't encourage it, but don't fight over it either.

C3P0, my family weren't drinkers, the occasional sherry/whisky at Christmas kind of thing. Very rarely there would be wine with dinner. The first time I saw my mam slightly tipsy she was 58. But I had the occasional drink as a child.

I like a drink now but not to excess.

It's a Catholic church in Sweden although I suspect the 'wine' is more to do with the priest being Polish. Book your next holiday to Warsaw and I'll post you some rosary beads.

Good show, Westie

I've just remembered something. My brothers and their mates go to Poland for football matches. They bring back bottles of alcohol distilled from wood, or something weird like that, and then dare each other to drink it. None of them will touch it unless they're really drunk already. I wonder if that's what's being served up at church

My dbro works with a lot of Polish lads. If there is anything distilled from wood and Polish and likely to be lethal, he will have tried it.

:o

I think it's a good comparison Heartbokenmum and I was just going to post the same thing!

OP

Some people give children younger than 5 alcohol as part of a ritual initiation.

Or what most people call a christening or a bris.

We used to give my little brother baileys at the age of 6. It was mixed with a lot of milk. He also had wine spritzers.

He is 25 now and rarely drinks.

Why would anyone give alcohol to a child? Even a small amount; I just don't see the point. Introducing teens to it to encourage sensible drinking I do understand, although the best way to encourage sensible drinking in teens is to be a sensible drinker as an adult.

Now I have images of seven year olds in evening dress swishing a fine Cognac around an oversized balloons.

I don't think alcohol is going to necessarily be a Big Deal to older kids if they are not given it as young children.
In my house, as far as ds is concerned, alcohol doesn't really feature. He has never seen anyone get drunk, or even drink very often. I once let him have a taste of my wine at a family party (because he asked). He thought it was horrible, so fine.
I would never mix alcohol with pop, or disguise it in any way though.
I was allowed wine as a child, and once got plastered age 11 at my friends Nan's on bacardi and coke, and actually I would say I developed a taste for booze really early on, and was out drinking at 13/14.
I think if you live in a house where booze is around a lot, and people seem to be getting merry and having a blast on it, it seems much more attractive to kids, and if they are allowed to partake with something alcoholic that tastes like pop (e.g bacardi and coke) they will think "brilliant! can't wait til I can start drinking for real!".
Or, they will if they are me!
And, to compare us to the French is just daft. We are not French. We have Northern European culture(and genes some of us) that make us FAR more likely to abuse alcohol.

I agree with if about who you live with. My DP had alcoholic parents so it's fair to say they were quite relaxed about the kids drinking, they allowed the kids from age 13 to drink spirits/beers etc and would go to the shop and get it for them! Just for a quiet life really i suppose. DP has a high tolerance for alcohol now, he can drink tons without getting piddled, same as his sister and he has a real taste for pretty much anything with alcohol!

I think setting a limit is fine though. I wasn't allowed anything till 12 and then sometimes my Dad might treat me to a can of that shandy stuff in a can (shandy bass?), I could have small glasses of wine at special occasions or a barcardi breezer on holiday. Starting off like that really didn't do me any harm, I do like a drink many years on but know my limits and it doesn't take much to get me drunk! I think I'll follow my Dad's way with my own children to as it seems to have had good effects on me and my brother and our attitudes to drinking.

I sort of think alcoholism comes with a predisposition for it. I come from three generations of alcoholics, was given special occasion drinks as a child and there is a pic of me drinking the ends of my Dads cans of beer sat on our back door step at 4 yrs (the sun used to make them taste sugary as I recall).

when I started to go bad ways with my drinking my mum used to talk to me about it as she was worried about me. I, like my Dad, am now a non drinker and have been for 8 years. I will be watching my kids for signs and will try to support them if they do start misusing alcohol.

I won't be offering them tastes of alcohol like I was, but equally I don't think if I did it would really influence how they drink as adults.

I'm inclined to agree with And that the tendency to drink/drink too much is inherent in some people regardless of their early experiences.

Apart from the aforementioned Christmas snowballs, my mum never drank alcohol and has been completely teetotal for most of my adult life. My dad used to have a can of bitter on a Saturday night and that was it, although he was a bigger drinker when he was young and single, I've probably only seen him 'merry' on a handful of occasions.

I drink regularly, not to excess, but I do like a glass of wine with dinner or a vodka & tonic after a crappy day at work.

On the flipside my mum was a smoker from the age of 21 until her mid sixties. I have never smoked, it just doesn't appeal to me at all, so I definitely think these things are more nature than nurture.

Heartbroken, I don't think anyone said the point was to "get them used to the taste/strength for when they're older". The bit about it possibly helping by removing the 'forbidden fruit' aspect was an afterthought.

Heartbroken & MakingEveryDayCount. How do you feel about the christian church which gives wine to small children?

my 10 yr old dd has had a very small snowball every Christmas for the last 2 years

I was always under the impression that they didn't actually give small children any wine, but maybe it varies from church to church. My ex is a Catholic and at services I've been to with him children weren't given any wine. I'm an atheist so have only been to church on a few occasions, so don't know the ins and outs of it, tbh.

And I seriously hope that whoever said upthread about the OP name-changing wasn't implying that I'm the OP!!!

I've got plenty of posts and threads under this name and can easily be looked up.

I was raised in a family of drinkers, regularly had a can of Skol or cheap Co op lager from the age of 11, and it proper gave me a taste for booze and I still like a drink or 7 now (it was me that introduced my mother to Vodka, she was always a gin drinker prior to that).
I also remember going on a school trip to France aged 11 (early 90s) and we were all given a glass of red wine with our evening meal. I'm guessing nowadays that might not be the done thing

Heartbrokenmum, I'm atheist too so I don't know if every church does. It probably depends how traditional they are. but since it is part of the religion even the ones who use grape juice must accept that it's ok to use real wine. So the real point is that there are vast numbers of people who think a small amount of alcohol is fine.

Personally I'd just as soon no one used alcohol, but I'm in a minority on that and giving tiny amounts to children on special occasions is not going to harm them.

Because she asked for it, it's not illegal and I didn't mind her having it Makingeerydaycount.

So just because she asked for it she should automatically get it, regardless of whether it's harmful to her or not? What if she wanted a drag of your cigarette as well, or fancied trying drugs?
Would that be OK as she 'wanted it?'
No, it's not illegal, but a glass of Bailey's at that age is ridiculous. It's not even a sip of something low alcohol like Bucks Fizz (not that that would be any more acceptable) it's a full on measure of a liqueur which is about 20% abv!
Miles higher than even the strongest of wines, sherries and ports.
Sticking a load of ice in it is neither here or there.

My DB and I were brought up being allowed little bits of alcohol here and there. He is a raving alcoholic and I am not. We allow our DC sips and watered down wine occasionally. I may knock this on the head though. DHs eldest would constantly ask for sips whenever we had a drink, it got to the point where we couldn't enjoy a glass of wine as adults without her having some of it. I would say no, and he would say yes and let her. Now as an early teen she has been sneaking in her DM drink cabinet before school and took some to school and proceeded to get drunk!

For sure, your kids, your rules, but you just don't know how it will affect your DC until they are older and it is too late!

Don't be ridiculous MakingEveryDayCount (and haven't I explained this to you once already - why labour the point? Ooh, you are like the woman on the other thread who just.wouldnt.listen. )

No, I wouldn't give my 8 year old a cigarette or drugs. That would be illegal and I don't break the law.

What's with the straw man arguement? Don't you have a real one of your own?

It wasn't a 'full on measure' (I don't have optics, I was at MILs, not a pub). It was a small amount, diluted with ice. Drunk in a family setting, over the space of about an hour and after a very large 3 course meal.

It will NOT have caused her any harm. If you think it will have, then as I said before, I am quite happy for you to PM me, I will provide you with my full name and address and you can report me to whatever authorities you think suitable.

BTW, Do you understand what %ABV means? (In the context of a glass Vs bottle Vs a measure)

lteve would you like me to find you a wall to beat your head against?

It's a bit like Groundhog Day