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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't believe what I am reading...

358 replies

SmileItsANewYear · 03/01/2014 18:16

Some people think that it's ok to give a child alcohol (as long as over the age of 5)

What the actual fuck?

OP posts:
IamInvisible · 03/01/2014 20:31

I don't know Rufus, I suppose it depends on the child too.

My sister had the same upbringing as my brother and I. We had small glasses of wine on special occasions, and drinks at Christmas, yet as soon as she was 14 she was drinking at every opportunity. She looked older so would get into pubs, she'd drink in the park, she'd regularly come home puking.

My brother only did it a handful of times. I am 43 next month and have never been drunk.

My sister is still a binge drinker. She was strict with her DC, her DD is 22 and a binge drinker.

My brother was stricter with his DD than I was, she wasn't allowed to go on a 'girls holiday', she wasn't allowed to parties but went behind his back. She binge drinks most weekends.

DS1 is really into health and fitness so spends the vast majority of his time in the gym or exercising. I suppose he would think he was wasting his time if he did that then binged on drink all weekend.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/01/2014 20:34

My friend made chocolate cream vodka liqueur for our recent reunion. Warm cream, pour it over chopped up chocolate, and stir in vodka to a drinkable consistency. It was gorgeous!

NoComet · 03/01/2014 20:37

I think Rufus that is an impossible question to answer

There are too many conflicting variables.

I was brought up in a small town where we all drank in the pubs from 14, but I have an almost Teetotal Father. Had I can home rolling drunk I would have been grounded for life.

My DF had a rugby playing, moderate drinking Dad and she drank far more than me as a teen and as a student.

At university, the students from cities, where 18 was enforced, drank far less responsibly (in general) than those of us who had done that and got the t-shirt already.

Thus I can't see how you untangle moderate childhood drinking from family, peer group and community attitudes to drink.

bisjo · 03/01/2014 20:40

I can't see how you can compare Babycham at 6% ABV to Baileys at 17% ABV.

LtEveDallas · 03/01/2014 20:44

Who did?

mellicauli · 03/01/2014 20:47

My grandmother told me they regularly had a mix of water and wine when she was growing up. (French/German Middle class household, 1900s) Her and her sister both lived to their mid nineties, so can't have been too bad for her. I wouldn't do it though..any reduction in self control would render my offspring as a danger to others...

bisjo · 03/01/2014 20:47

Someone on this thread said that they had Babycham when they were young and thought it was therefore ok to give their dc a glass of Baileys. Can't remember poster's name but it did seem a rather odd comparision when you consider the difference in ABV between the two.

bisjo · 03/01/2014 20:50

Found the post and realised it was you LtEveDallas

I was always allowed either a snowball or babycham on Christmas Day. I'm just keeping up the tradition grin

BIWI · 03/01/2014 20:51

But you wouldn't drink the same quantity, would you? I don't know how much is in a bottle of Babycham, but it's probably at least 150ml, maybe 200ml. Whereas a measure of Baileys will be considerably less than that.

Primafacie · 03/01/2014 20:51

Add message | Report | Message poster squoosh Fri 03-Jan-14 19:53:07
Communion wine is the pits! In general I find the snacks at Mass to be quite poor.

This made me lol!

LtEveDallas · 03/01/2014 20:52

OK, well that would be me, but that's not what I said, nor any part of my reasoning for allowing my DD to have a glass of Baileys on Christmas Day. DD asked for some, I decided that there was no risk involved nor reason not to, so allowed her to have a small glass, with ice, after a very large meal, as part of the Christmas celebrations within her family environment.

LtEveDallas · 03/01/2014 20:53

Ahh, missed a line out "I thought the grin made it obvious my comment was tongue in cheek"

bisjo · 03/01/2014 20:54

Personally I wouldn't let a child try a sweet alcoholic drink like Baileys as it doesn't taste overly alcoholic, although of course it is extremely so. Ds (9) has tried a sip of beer and red wine (not together) and hated both because they are bitter to taste. I'm happy that he continues to think that alcoholic drinks don't taste very nice.

bisjo · 03/01/2014 20:57

Sorry I missed the joke bit. Just thought you meant it was okay to have one because you'd grown up having the other. Didn't realise that neither was true Blush

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2014 20:59

"My friend made chocolate cream vodka liqueur for our recent reunion. Warm cream, pour it over chopped up chocolate, and stir in vodka to a drinkable consistency. It was gorgeous!"

OMG, I have missed Baileys since I became Vegan, I used to use Vodka as a mixer for Baileys.

I am going to get experimenting.

Sparklymommy · 03/01/2014 21:02

All this talk of Baileys! It's gross! Haha!

Babycham is my favourite drink but only available in the run up to Christmas. And martini and lemonade. Not together I must add. Or port. I do like a nice port.

Mad dog 20/20 was nice too. Haven't seen that in years.

WaffilyVersatile · 03/01/2014 21:05

I gave my 7yr old a sip of my snowball (she didn't like it) and my 12 yr old had half a glass of wine with Christmas dinner and a (weak) snowball in the evening. He loved it and I don't see any issue with it.

We had wine spritzer with dinner every sunday from about age 7

Lavenderhoney · 03/01/2014 21:05

I was always allowed a snowball or babycham along with my dm on Christmas Day. The bottle with the baby deer on it:)

Df used to pour it into a proper glass with an umbrella and a sparkler.

We just don't make a big thing of it, its just a drink for grown ups and when they see a drunken uncle at family parties, we are honest about why and why he can't/ won't stop drinking. Unless alcohol is banned its going to be in their lives at some point.

JassyRadlett · 03/01/2014 21:34

I was about to say that the watered down wine in childhood gave me a taste for decent wines etc but then remember my parents and their friends giving me Lambrusco as a teenager. Grin

Heartbrokenmum73 · 03/01/2014 21:59

I'm not sure I agree with this 'introduce them to alcohol slowly so they get used to it' stuff.

I was never given alcohol as a child, never wanted any. I'm the oldest of 4 siblings. We all have very little interest in alcohol as adults, so I don't see how not giving us alcohol would have any bearing on us binge drinking. None of us did that as teens either.

I've been drunk about 5 times as an adult and the last time was about 15 years ago. I have a bottle of wine in my fridge now that was given to me as a housewarming present 4 months ago. I've had one glass and didn't really enjoy it.

My own dc (well, the older two) have had sips of wine/lager/Guinness at various times, to see what it was like, and declared them all horrible. Other than that they aren't interested. Youngest is 5 and the thought of giving him a glass (whatever size) of any kind of alcohol, regardless of occasion just seems weird - he's a child, he's happy with squash, alcohol is for adults - he doesn't need or want it.

Maybe this will change as they get older, but I don't feel the need to acclimatize (for want of a better word) them to alcohol and I honestly don't understand that attitude - it seems really alien to me.

BUT. If other people want to give their children the occasional snifter of something, fair do's. As long as they're not falling down pissed, meh.

MakingEveryDayCount · 03/01/2014 22:06

Why the f* would anyone give their children a glass of Bailey's at the age of 8?! That's absolutely insane, sorry.
There's absolutely no need to be giving small children like that a measure of ANY type of liqeur, and at that age will have immature livers which do not need alcohol thrown at them. Hmm
If that's what the OP originally started the thread from, then no OP, YADNBU.
A small alcoholic drink occasionally as a young teen to demystify alcohol, yes, then fair enough.
8 years old and your own shot of Baileys, an emphatic NO!

LtEveDallas · 03/01/2014 22:14

Because she asked for it, it's not illegal and I didn't mind her having it Makingeerydaycount.

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 03/01/2014 22:17

Lt next time just let her swig it from the bottle Grin

LtEveDallas · 03/01/2014 22:19

Nah, greedy bugger wouldn't leave any for me SP Grin

maparole · 03/01/2014 22:28

Heartbroken: I don't think it's "getting used to it" as such; IMO it's more a matter of appearing relaxed on the matter and NOT creating a "forbidden fruit" which will then become more attractive.

My parents gave me tasters if I asked and I take the same approach with my ds. As with any other unwanted behaviour, I feel the best approach is to minimise the shock value Grin