To formally complain about this woman's flagrant disregard for the well being of my anus?

[HoneyDragonling]

I have recently had a poo. It was quite pleasant, chatting to my brother through the wall. Then I shouted for my bum to be wiped. No answer! The feckless baggage was downstairs ironing my penguin trousers. This is being done because it's very important I wear my penguin trousers today.

I shouted louder. Then, then

She told me to WIPE MY OWN BUM!

Now I am perfectly capable of this task, but today I decided I was not and I know my own mind, right?

I shout repeatedly, and nothing. She just kept refusing.

So I had to do it myself . Then, to add further insult to injury, SHE came upstairs and said "Thankyou" (well I should think so!) and "well done, Honeydragonling". The patronising cow baggage

I'm still sulking.

AIBU to be absolutely sick of this constant disregard for my NEEDS?

YANBU.

Seriously. She'll be expecting you to wash your own hair in the bath soon

This is where it starts you know.

Take it from me, HoneyDragonling. You just can't get the staff.

Don't get me started on the bath! I demanded she switch the taps off. So she did. But then I had to have a really small bath, not a deep one. She suggested putting the taps back on.

She never listens!

YANBU. I suggest next time she asks you to do something for her, you stamp your foot and shout NO in an outside voice!

How awful

You should LTB

It's downhill from here I'm afraid. Childhood over. Toughen up, Dragonling. Take my advice - practice saying no while shaking your head and crossing your arms. This can be very effective at wearing down dragons. Careful though that your dragon doesn't realise what you are doing and simply copy you. HTH

HoneyDragonling, ask her if it's okay to wipe your bottom with a spider.

Can you tell us more about the penguin trousers? On a dragon. Interesting combo.

You could try wiping it on the towels or something so she's forced to do it for you for a while?

It is possible to divorce one's parents

BTW i read that as fragrant disregard........

Oh HDling, I'm so sorry,what a shocking experience for you to have to endure.

I suggest if she dares try it again that you wipe on your brothers t-shirt. That'll show her who's boss

Thank you for the advice on how to communicate with her, I think that will help.

Yes, she does have some interesting spider killing methods.

Tread carefully, Dragonling. Before you know it, the utter arse of a woman will be refusing to cut up your fruit. Then before you know it she'll be cutting up your fruit then expecting you to eat the stuff.

Honeydragonling - are you me? I had a very similar situation (with, it would seem, my very similarly unreasonable mother) very recently.

However my mother is worse. Due to her obvious reluctance to perform such a simple task, the next time I needed a poo I reasoned that since I was in the bath, if I just let it out then my backside - due to its immediate environment - would need no wiping.

The phrase "Can't do right for doing wrong" springs to mind

Or don't wipe at all. That'll learn her!

Love,
Weevilpup

We need more threads like this on MN...

The fruit cutting incident is what brought me here. I need support in my parent management skills.

I have decided I need to approach this in a calmer more rational way. So I have taken off all my clothes and am sat on the green tea tray.

I had the cheek to give ds cheese and crackers today, he loves cheese and crackers but today decided he didn't want them.

I said 'ok well you don't have to eat it', he growled at me and said 'FINE, but I'm only eating the cheese, and the crackers that I like.

They're all gone.

It weren't just you HoneyDragonling I was expected to do the same this morning. Blatantly disregard of my rights to have my own arse wiped. Master Pixie. .

Honey - good move!

Sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind.

Do you have a pet dog Dragonling? One of the mini giraffes in our house has employed the dog to lick their bottom before!

Just be glad you are not dyed blue or have been immacced.

Oh dear, I must be on my guard against this. Today mummy has given me my toothbrush and expected me to clean my own teeth. Just because I won't let her get near with the brush. I'm only 1, I had better nip this in the bud by brushing the bathroom floor with my toothbrush instead, right?

LittleCrohnically

Next time, put the whole toilet roll down the toilet.

HTH
Little Inkle

I say you get tough back with this heartless woman.

For example:

Today I wailed and flung myself about when she tried to take my jimjams off then I finished it off with an even bigger tantrum when she tried to put clothes back on me.

Un-pre-dictable!

Keep them on their toes

HTH