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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make dh return this call?

75 replies

Mintyy · 02/01/2014 21:58

Landline has just rung and I am not in the living room where phone is.

Dh is in there watching something on tv he is interested in.

He answered phone, it is a relative of mine fancying a chat.

He brought phone in to me in kitchen where I am eating late dinner, and I indicated "no, don't want to speak".

So dh said to caller "we'll call you back in about 15 minutes".

Aibu to refuse to do that and let dh call her back?

OP posts:
Dumpylump · 02/01/2014 21:59

What should he have said?

lottiegarbanzo · 02/01/2014 22:00

They wanted to speak to you, or they'd have spoken to him at the time. Call them back or don't .

Original poster
Mintyy · 02/01/2014 22:01

He shouldn't have answered the phone.

OP posts:
complexnumber · 02/01/2014 22:01

Of course you are BU.

Your DH is just stepping aside from any family 'issues' you may have. He certainly should not be expected to make your family calls.

Joysmum · 02/01/2014 22:02

Why would you do that? It's your relative, you didn't want to talk, he could see you eating dinner so said you'd call back. What's the big deal? If you don't want to callback tonight, do it tomorrow.

BuffyxSummers · 02/01/2014 22:03

He shouldn't have answered the phone? Hmm And then he had the audacity to misread your indication?

LTB of course.

Shnickyshnackers · 02/01/2014 22:03

I think there is a huge backstory here!

complexnumber · 02/01/2014 22:03

Why shouldn't he answer the landline?

You are coming across as barking.

But then I like that in an AIBU thread

Original poster
Mintyy · 02/01/2014 22:04
Grin
OP posts:
DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 02/01/2014 22:04

He's not a bloody mind reader.

Mim78 · 02/01/2014 22:05

If anyone phones me in the evening wanting "a chat" I text them to say I am too tired.

Anyone who wants a chat on the phone in the evening is weird IMO.

Once dd is in bed my time is for me, not to be wasted having "chats". (PS you might notice I hate the word chat!)

I do prefer to either see people in person or text/e-mail them though - I am not a telephone "chat" person so might be wrong person to ask.

If they don't have a mobile you can text them on then yes dh should phone back and say something more appropriate, like you will call them tomorrow or whatever.

This is also why I don't have a landline!

MrsKCastle · 02/01/2014 22:07

Yabu. Why would he ignore the phone? And once he had spoken to your relative, he could hardly say you didn't want to speak to them.

Either call them back, or don't. But don't blame your DH.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 02/01/2014 22:07

Why should her DH make excuses for her? If she can't be arsed talking (which I fully understand I'm the same) she should be able to tell them herself. She's a grown woman.

I am so glad none of my friends ever ring for a chat I hate it.

CoffeeTea103 · 02/01/2014 22:08

Grow up.

Original poster
Mintyy · 02/01/2014 22:10

Yes, I am totally rellied-out from Christmas and New Year (as dh knows perfectly well, today is only the second or third day we have had at home on our own since 23rd December) and we are spending nearly the whole day with this person who called tonight on Sunday. I don't want to speak to her tonight, so dh can ring her back and make my excuses for me.

OP posts:
Lottiedoubtie · 02/01/2014 22:11

Very subtle Bingo?

Because I recognise your username and your stance on this is otherwise unfathomable barking

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 02/01/2014 22:11

What if he says no? You're acting a bit erm... Like a little girl. You usually seem quite reasonable!

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 02/01/2014 22:12

Surely relative will understand that 'call back in 15 mins' is code for "leave it'?

Janethegirl · 02/01/2014 22:14

Just phone in the morning, or tomorrow night. Most people will understand.

Hassled · 02/01/2014 22:14

Your relative, your problem. Sorry, but rules are rules, and this is a rule I created especially to deal with talkative ILs and their ability to ring during top telly moments.

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps · 02/01/2014 22:15

I'm like this...DH loves a natter on the phone to his own family whereas I'm pretty much phone phobic. He randomly passed me on to one of his relatives earlier on and if looks could kill....

Can't you just text this person saying you're busy?

pictish · 02/01/2014 22:17

I don't want to speak to her tonight, so dh can ring her back and make my excuses for me.

Um...no. My dh has been known to expect this sort of thing from me in the past, and I won't comply.
His answering the phone, and saying what he did was standard procedure I'm afraid. He's not the secretary and isn't there to field your calls - as I told my dh.

If you really cba with a short call (and I do sympathise with that, believe me) then text and let the rellie know...just for manners sake.

It's not your dh's job to ring them back though.

Original poster
Mintyy · 02/01/2014 22:20

It is his job though Pictish. He answered the phone, he said we'd ring back. I don't want to ring back tonight therefore = his job.

OP posts:
pictish · 02/01/2014 22:22

Your rellie - your job.

BitOfFunWithSanta · 02/01/2014 22:22

I am SO tempted to phone you now for a 'chat' Grin

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