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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Toddlers and shopping centres

123 replies

Thurlow · 30/12/2013 16:25

I went sales shopping the other day to one of those big 'event' shopping centres Milton sodding Keynes, and the place was full of toddlers in puschairs.

Now I have a 2yo, and I can't imagine anything worse than taking them around a hot, crowded, noisy shopping centre in a pushchair for hours on end. And it seemed most of the toddlers I saw thought pretty similar, given how cheerful and happy they were...

Now babies, fine, they tend to sleep through anything. Older children too, they are presumably interested enough in some shops and eating in a restaurant. But toddlers? I was trying to think of a reason for it. Now I know that some toddlers enjoy shops and might have loved several hours in a shopping centre. And also some people won't have anyone to leave the toddler with (though most toddlers I saw seemed to be with groups of both parents and some grandparents, though actually not many that I could see with older siblings). And of course there will be some people who really need to sales shop for clothes etc because of their budget, and so it's worth the hassle.

Also, I know toddlers have to fit in with the rest of family life, so mine has to do the odd short clothes shop, the food shopping etc, but the shopping centre really is one you sort of 'go' to for half a day, not pop to because you need something.

But AIBU to think that probably with so many of these kids - and there were hundreds of 'em, I swear - it really isn't a good idea to take a toddler around a shopping centre for several hours? I'm not judging people who do, I'm just... bemused. If I didn't have my parents to look after DC on that day, I wouldn't have gone sales shopping, I would have done it online.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 30/12/2013 21:03

I can agree I wouldn't plan a family day together to an indoor shopping centre.

Be sensible tho. It's not as if that particular day out shopping is the one and only day out the family are allowed to go out on per year. Maybe they did soft play yesterday, and are doing Great-Granny's tomorrow.

Did you work when your kids were small? I didn't, and you soon run out of cheap, accessible places to visit when you have two under-3's to keep busy 24/7/365 (unless you live in London).

GlitzAndGiggles · 30/12/2013 21:09

Wallison I actually don't give a shit. I'm not going to hide my 2yo away because there's child free people about who don't like the sight of excitable toddlers ffs! I had a little boy bite me because he was playing dinosaurs and I just laughed it off. No biggie

GlitzAndGiggles · 30/12/2013 21:15

Oh and I wasn't making out you're a bad parent for not taking kids shopping. I was saying I personally prefer to take mine with me because we have fun and when she's tired she sits in her buggy. She doesn't torment random people the entire time we're out she also communicates with people. My dd is generally well behaved in public too and doesn't "fanny about". She's being a child and enjoying herself. Jheeeeeze!

LimitedEditionLady · 30/12/2013 21:18

No i dont plan a day trip of shopping but i doubt many people do really if you mean like "YAY KIDS lets go shopping ALL DAY HIP HIP HOORAY!"

MrsKoala · 30/12/2013 21:38

The worst thing about the shopping centre is it all looks the same, so you end up traipsing up and down looking for a shop that you remember being there, then you realise it is on the parallel strip which looks identical. There are no maps, just electronic finders which always have queues with kids playing about on them at the front. Last xmas i actually emailed various people requesting maps be put up so you could see where you needed to go at a glance rather then queueing to look at the interactive bullshit map, i also suggested maps to carry round like they have at Westfield. I just refused to shop anywhere but John Lewis in the end. Oh and the restaurants! Why would i want to eat facing into a mall or out onto a dual carriageway? MK is the most bizarre place in the UK i reckon. It's partly why i left. I don't drive either, so it was like living somewhere which actually hated you.

Original poster

Thurlow · 30/12/2013 21:44

Like living somewhere which actually hated you

It's such a random place. DP refuses to go there more than once a year. This year I took him to my old local - the one pub that serves two estates, so everyone from the 16 year old girls on the pull to grandma and grandad nursing half a bitter in the corner were all in there as there is nowhere else to go to without driving, along with thumping music one end, football in the middle, and a vague area of civilization at the end. I don't think I've ever seen him drinking so unhappily

I can find John Lewis, M&S and Bravissimo, and that's it! I always forget that Woolies closed down and get lost trying to find it.

The worst thing about growing up in MK was when you did finally hit the age that shopping was fun, everywhere else in the country was disappointing because you'd spent every weekend in one of the UK's largest shopping centres...

OP posts:

MrsKoala · 30/12/2013 22:20

I am so glad i didn't grow up there - the age when shopping was fun was when i shopped in camden and kensington markets. I cannot imagine how my soul would have been trampled in MK shopping mall. Just thinking about it makes me want to weep.

Where in MK are you from? I lived in New Bradwell, there is a 'high street' with a co-op, a bookies, 3 indian takeaways and 2 tattoo parlours. aaahhh good times :)

I agree the pubs are hilarious. Our local had a public and a lounge bar. The public bar was full on pool-cue-fights-a-go-go and the lounge bar had one old geezer nursing a half of mild, glaring at you and muttering. Oh and a fat old cat which insisted on sitting on your lap and licking your drink/crisps.

whois · 30/12/2013 22:23

I have some happy memories of my gran taking me to a shopping centre. There was a fountain with a crocodile (fake) in it, and I got to have a baked potatoe with cheese from the food court.

Original poster

Thurlow · 30/12/2013 22:30

Two Mile Ash - one of the naice parts

It's an impossible place to understand if you've never lived there

OP posts:

Dollslikeyouandme · 30/12/2013 22:36

Yabu, I used to take ds shopping when he was a toddler.

He used to really enjoy it, he loved being pushed around seeing everything. We'd stop for some lunch, a couple of goes on the little rides, he'd usually then just fall asleep.

It was easier than it is now he's 5 and moans if we go for more than half an hour.

MrsKoala · 30/12/2013 22:37

I'm glad i lived there just to experience the utter dystopian feeling of it. You can really see why the planners thought it was a good idea, but also you want to reach back in time and shake them as it's so naive.

We spent most of our time in Stony Stratford, the naicest place we could find locally, and it has the calcutta or 'curry cathedral' as we called it (a church converted into an indian restaurant complete with the creation of adam painted on the ceiling a la sistine chapel - very understated!).

Before we moved there we lived in Canary Wharf, now that's also another headfuck.

PresidentServalan · 30/12/2013 23:53

Auoe

PresidentServalan · 30/12/2013 23:55

Supermarket crèches would be great - whilst getting stuff just before Christmss there were a lot of free range children running about and running into people, pushing trolleys etc.

AnyBagsofOxfordFuckers · 31/12/2013 00:06

I take my toddler to shopping centres and he walks. Brilliant way to tire him out, and I get to teach him manners, patience, appropriate behaviour, good behaviour eating out, looking with eyes and not hands (I have turned into my mother, sigh), and so on. And when that wears thin, off to ELC to let him try out the stuff they have out for kids to sample and ignore the slightly-catsbum mouths when we overstay our welcome

Hand on heart, he has never kicked off or had a meltdown. As long as kids feel they are doing something with you, instead of being dragged along whilst Mummy gets something done, at's half the battle won. It's good for them to do normal stuff, to see how you're supposed to behave in more complex and unfamiliar situations.

HollaAtMeBaby · 31/12/2013 01:08

YANBU. People who can't/won't pay for a couple of hours of childcare really shouldn't be out clothes shopping.

MrsHoolie · 31/12/2013 01:12

I totally agree with you OP.
I would rather shop online than shop with a kid in a pushchair,hellish.

notso · 31/12/2013 01:37

DD,DS1 and DS3 would/will merrily shop, chatting, looking at books etc.

DS2 no way. I would never take him for more than an hour and never without a shedload of bribes!

I nipped into town on Boxing Day for bread, but forgot M&S was shut. It was hellish.

MrsKoala · 31/12/2013 15:12

AnyBagsof - that sounds fine for older toddlers maybe, but my 15mo would not understand not touching, would not walk in the direction i wanted and would run into everyones legs and path, he grabs everything from the shelves and throws them on the floor - stamping on them for good measure. He has walked since 10mo and insisted he be out of the buggy since then. Shopping with him atm like you describe is just not a possibility. I have to give a hollow laugh at the people who advise me to engage him in what i'm doing! I am hoping it gets better soon.

LimitedEditionLady · 31/12/2013 19:15

Its not hellish for every parent or child is it though.My ds shows no sign of minding going to the shop.If you never take them with you to do anything would you ever get anything done?why would i pay for more childcare to go to the shops when ds isnt bothered by it?I get the feeling that people think theyre better people because they dont take kids to the shops.what planet are you from?I loved going shopping with my gran when i was small,i really enjoyed it.My ds likes it too and it isnt forced he doesnt have to come but when I say im going he says "can i come?" I dont buy him thibgs everytime we go out so it isnt that hes is gettibg rewarded he just likes to go.

BrianTheMole · 31/12/2013 19:18

Well if I had a choice I'd leave the kids at home. Not always possible though. So they have to deal with it. Yabu.

Original poster

Thurlow · 31/12/2013 19:24

Blimey, is this still going?

If anyone read the op properly, I meant shopping centres. CENTRES. Big, many-hour shopping excursions to one of those indoor retail centres with no fresh air, no room for toddlers to walk around etc. Not just shopping in your local town, which as I have repeatedly said, I do almost daily myself. And I was also referring to children who are too young to express any preference, not a 4yo who can ask to come along.

Toddlers shopping - perfectly normal.

Toddlers in Milton Keynes' massive shopping centre on the 2nd day of the Christmas sales - seemed like a bad idea all round.

Very few people need a half price jumper that much, surely...

OP posts:

alemci · 31/12/2013 19:24

when mine were little I'm sure they used to have a creche at tesco. also ikea kids club

BrianTheMole · 31/12/2013 20:12

Very few people need a half price jumper that much, surely...

Depends how much money someone has got and whether they have enough clothes surely. And yes I knew you meant centres. The ones with no fresh air.

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