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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddlers and shopping centres

123 replies

Thurlow · 30/12/2013 16:25

I went sales shopping the other day to one of those big 'event' shopping centres Milton sodding Keynes, and the place was full of toddlers in puschairs.

Now I have a 2yo, and I can't imagine anything worse than taking them around a hot, crowded, noisy shopping centre in a pushchair for hours on end. And it seemed most of the toddlers I saw thought pretty similar, given how cheerful and happy they were...

Now babies, fine, they tend to sleep through anything. Older children too, they are presumably interested enough in some shops and eating in a restaurant. But toddlers? I was trying to think of a reason for it. Now I know that some toddlers enjoy shops and might have loved several hours in a shopping centre. And also some people won't have anyone to leave the toddler with (though most toddlers I saw seemed to be with groups of both parents and some grandparents, though actually not many that I could see with older siblings). And of course there will be some people who really need to sales shop for clothes etc because of their budget, and so it's worth the hassle.

Also, I know toddlers have to fit in with the rest of family life, so mine has to do the odd short clothes shop, the food shopping etc, but the shopping centre really is one you sort of 'go' to for half a day, not pop to because you need something.

But AIBU to think that probably with so many of these kids - and there were hundreds of 'em, I swear - it really isn't a good idea to take a toddler around a shopping centre for several hours? I'm not judging people who do, I'm just... bemused. If I didn't have my parents to look after DC on that day, I wouldn't have gone sales shopping, I would have done it online.

OP posts:
FixItUpChappie · 30/12/2013 17:39

Also bemused as shopping now being an actual 'pastime'/family day out but that's just me.

If you live somewhere where the weather is crap than it can be a good place to just get out and walk around where its warm. Get a coffee, do a little shopping, go for lunch....why not?

-20 here today...and thinking of taking the kids to the mall just for the sake of getting out and doing something free.

soverylucky · 30/12/2013 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 30/12/2013 17:43

My local shopping centre has a soft play in it which is cheap with a fairly decent cafe so I break up my shopping trip in there so my kids can go wild for an hour.

Andcake · 30/12/2013 17:46

Isn't this why online shopping was invented. I am hoping to leave toddler ds with DP over the next week to clothes shop but if DP can't I just won't go and make do with what I've got. As its too far to take ds an I think he should be active not sat in a buggy for hours. The odd foot shopping trip etc is fine.
I hate that people see shopping as a hobby/activity all those mutters queuing for the sales makes me sad.

Original poster
Thurlow · 30/12/2013 17:48

Soft play at a.shopping centre is my dream for when DD is a bit older! Grin

I have no one for childcare most of the time either. I take DD shopping, probably most days we are together we will do what other people do too - shops, library, walk in the park. I.was assuming people were there for hours because it's.massive, and quite expensive to park, and with the layout of MK only a few people will live neat enough to wander in

OP posts:
MrsCampbellBlack · 30/12/2013 17:55

Thurlow - I totally agree with you. I have never gone shopping as a leisure activity with DH and my 3 children - god, I can imagine nothing worse.

Either I took the children when they were little when it was quiet or left them at home with DH at the weekend.

I love shopping but not with my whole family. And certainly not on the 2nd day of the sales.

CombineBananaFister · 30/12/2013 18:00

I agree fixitupchappie and have done the same myself in rubbish weather and when Dh worked long hours and I was a bit lonely with a toddler, just to get out/see other humans.

But, there are people in my family who (in good weather) choose a long 'day out' at the shops with their kids then moan how stressful it was because they were whinging the whole time. I don't think everything should be child-centrick and needs must, but it's just not an enjoyable pastime in imo. Shopping is a means to an end for me not an activity in itself.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I am just bemused personally because I hate shopping Grin and prefer being out in the fresh air.
Saying that my Dbro probably couldn't think of anything as boring/rubbish as going for a walk with us Grin - each to their own.

GlitzAndGiggles · 30/12/2013 18:03

I never go shopping without my 2yo. She likes picking clothes and shoes up and pretending to try them on. Also it's my duty to keep her entertained and under control...which is why we both enjoy it. I'd personally feel guilty asking someone to watch her so I could sod off for a few hours of fun for myself but that's just me

BopToTheTop · 30/12/2013 18:08

Tell me about it, I braved Milton Keynes on the 27th and the amount of children who had been brought out in their PJs was ridiculous! I can only presume that these children had been taken straight out of bed and popped conveniently in pushchairs

Original poster
Thurlow · 30/12/2013 18:11

That was the day I was there, bop - I didn't see any in their PJs but I suppose I'm not surprised. Though if they went back to sleep that would be convenient!

Glitz, DD loves picking clothes and shoes too and that's probably the one thing that makes shopping with her a nightmare vivid flashbacks to being the entertainment for the whole queue in M&S as DD tried to grab every single sweet bag during the wait

To me there's a distinction between shopping with young DC 99% of the time, which is generally needs must/easy entertainment for an hour, and sales shopping somewhere you know will be horribly busy on the 2nd day of the sales.

OP posts:
MrsCampbellBlack · 30/12/2013 18:14

Glitz - really you'd feel guilty for taking a couple of hours to have fun by yourself. Lordy, the few hours I got without my children when they were little were how I stayed sane.

Iris445 · 30/12/2013 18:20

Oh I agree, bored looking dads and cranky toddlers...send them off to the park and go solo.

Much more fun, for all!

I also hate shopping.

formerbabe · 30/12/2013 18:24

I'd rather take my kids shopping than my dh!

ShinyBlackNose · 30/12/2013 18:26

I rarely go shopping, it doesn't really interest me.

However, there is no one else to look after my DC so if I do go they go with me.

A joint day off with my husband is as rare as hen's teeth, I wouldn't leave him behind with our DC so I could go shopping alone, we turn it into a family day out.

Op, I have three choices:
Never go to the shops
Always take my DC with me
Child neglect

GlitzAndGiggles · 30/12/2013 18:27

Mrs Campbell - she loves shopping especially in TK maxx where she can hide and jump out on unsuspecting customers whilst I stand there laughing my ass off telling her off

GlitzAndGiggles · 30/12/2013 18:29

Thurlow my dd picked up percy pig today and they had an offer on 2 for 2.50 so we kind of stocked up in the queue

ComposHat · 30/12/2013 18:29

Yanbu I would recommend doing what my mum did when my sisrer was that age. Leave us in the early learning centre to play with the brio trains whilst she went to Marks & Spencer

Original poster
Thurlow · 30/12/2013 18:32

Grin Compos

I think I have a memory of being left there. Those trains were amazing, after all

OP posts:
alemci · 30/12/2013 18:41

I can see both sides. I did ocassionally take dc but not for long. I did have gps and dh to help. sales would be awful. if you are alone then at least it gets you out the house and shortens the day. the weather is awful today.

I think the bored looking men or the extended family in a group so no one else can get to the rails etc are more annoying

alemci · 30/12/2013 18:44

Glitz you need time to yourself for your own sanity. I found my dc very waring at that age.

Wallison · 30/12/2013 18:45

I don't get this entire 'shopping as a leisure activity' thing full stop, and I certainly don't get how it can be classed as a so-called 'fun' family day out. OP, I agree with you.

BigBirthdayGloom · 30/12/2013 18:46

So, whilst our children's grandparents are lively and committed, they do not babysit except for medical emergencies. We visited a shopping centre, as we fairly often do, on the 28th. Our children played with the tots I. John Lewis, read books at water stones, oohed and ashes at the lights and the fountains and had lunch. They each bought an annual and another book with Christmas money. In amongst all the stuff they enjoyed, we also popped into three or four clothes shops. Dh and I tag teamed it so that the others of our family were doing something child friendly. Our dc are eight, five and two. No one went in a pushchair and dd2 played one, two, three wee or went on dh's shoulders. They love a trip to the shopping centre. Like any other activity, it can be the wrong day for it, or you can judge things so that naps etc don't work out well. Not all the miserable looking children will have been there for hours. I do have the luxury of going there with dh, but I so go by myself sometimes and then, although harder work, it's no drama.

Yabu.

LimitedEditionLady · 30/12/2013 18:49

Erm...what is the point of this thread?
So what if people take toddlers shopping?They arent taking them as an kids activity,they just want to go shopping so if you cant stand looking at people shopping with them maybe YOU should not go.Are you a better parent for not taking them?

ZenNudist · 30/12/2013 18:49

YABU.

My local shops are a very large shopping centre that serves the north west. I 'pop' there because its 5 mins away, I have car park strategy to park nearest to where I need to go, or at this time of year, to get out without getting stuck in traffic. I'm generally going to clarks or the cinema if I have ds (3) in tow. Aged 2 I might have gone on errands with him asleep & left when he woke up.

My toddler wouldn't do half a day at a big shopping centre either but he will join me for errands and maybe look at toys as a treat. We often go just for coffee or food and he does have to learn to sit. We can't always be doing fun toddler stuff. Plus there's legoland there so sometimes we will do a homeware errand before bobbing to legoland for a few hours.

I will take dc2 there in a buggy when s/he is born if not with ds as they will be asleep or I can stop in plenty of places to bf.

Isn't it funny what people find to be judgey about. Perhaps without the facts to hand. If you'd seen me dragging a squalling toddler back through John Lewis today you might have wondered why I'd bring a 3 yo there (I wondered myself!!) but he was very happy to sit through blimmin disney film at great expense. Does that mean I'm a bad parent? Wink

Wallison · 30/12/2013 18:52

Glitz I'm sure that the other shoppers around you are just as enchanted with your DD playing with the merchandise and fannying around with shoes as you are. Honest.

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