To think that being very early is as bad as being very late...

[ButtercupsAreFlowers]

...when you're invited to someone's house? Just do not turn up 90 mins early for lunch when the house is in chaos and the food's nowhere near the oven. It's just not okay behaviour in my book - find somewhere to go until the appointed hour, fgs! Forcing myself to smile and be jolly - not easy when I just want to scream!

My parents said they would be coming at 4 on Saturday - then arrived at 11:00 like it was absolutely fine. I was so annoyed!!!! I tried not to show it - but as I hadn't catered for lunch (only evening meal) I didn't have anything suitable for lunch so had to go to the supermarket... The ham I had just put in the oven for dinner wasn't going to be ready till4pm (it was massive). I also was planning to have an hours kip while DS was having a nap - but couldn't because I had guests to entertain! Excuse - didn't want the dog to be carsick so had not fed him breakfast and he was hungry (obviously!) so they came early! So the dog was happy at least!
Then my mum, who is a very intelligent and capable woman, asked questions constantly until 10:30pm - which spoon shall I use to stir my tea? Where is the milk? Which mug can I use? (Obvious questions!!) I offered to make the drinks or let everyone treat my house as their own, and the response was 'you rest up - we'll help ourselves' then ask questions every thirty seconds!
Maybe this is all exacerbated by being preggers but the early arrival time certainly triggered some inner rage!!!

Mouth, in future I'd absolutely not entertain.

Tell em you have owt for lunch, and they need to go to a cafe,oh andwhilst they are out, can they pickup milk, bread, chocolate etc.

When they get back say' great,I'm off for snap,mind Ds for an hour will you'
And bugger off to bed.

They were damned rude not totally oh about theirchangeofplan. No need for you to act the perfect host.

Fucking hate it when people turn up that early, I would have been pissed off, basically because my house would have been in turmoil too and then you are expected to attend to your guests . Just turn up when you are supposed to ffs!!!!

YANBU, OP. I kind of wish I was like your mother, but I just can't relax until things are organised and under control tea lights lit, dog settled, suitable music on low everywhere, snacks and drinks at the ready, it goes on and on and on which they usually are not the hour before guests are due to arrive.

I think it's bourn out of just constantly having a million things to do, time is always in such short supply, so there's never a whole morning/afternoon to leisurely prepare for guests and be composed and serene the whole time in case they turn up early.

Yanbu. Mil does this and it drives me mad. I'll be in the middle of getting things ready and she turns up.

YANBU

Years ago I held a 4th Birthday party at my house for my DS.

One of the Mums turned up over an hour early with her DD and said, "Oh once she got her pretty party dress on, she simply had to come straight away...you know what kids are like".

Then (as I was running around sorting food and god knows what) she bent down to kiss her DD goodbye

I told her if she wanted to leave, she'd have to take her DD with her and bring her back at the proper time. So she sat there sulking and sighing til the guests arrived

YANBU.

My parents were going to stay with us for three days.

Two days before the day they were meant to arrive, they phoned, and asked if they could come a day earlier.

I asked why. They said that DM's best friend was going on holiday the next day and DM would feel lonely without her (nb- DM/DF get on well and DM has loads of other friends). I said that sorry, no, because we have guests staying who would be leaving early the day that they were supposed to come, so there wasn't any space for them.

The day after, at 10:30 or so, they arrived at our house and got mad that there wasnt a spare bed for them.

Am feeling the rage for all of you at these tales of bad guest behaviour. It would never occur to me to be early to someone's house - as someone wisely said upthread, time is precious. I like people better if I have time to prepare for them!

They did not Skog . That's insane. Did they no believe you about the other guests?!

Jesus Skog that's a threadwinner right there! What happened next??

I don't know what they thought. I told them that they either slept in sleeping bags on the sofa or went home. They went home.

YANBU. It's actually worse!

Time isn't an abstract concept. it is the same for everyone. People who are late or early are massively annoying, but for coming to your house later is better. Someone turned up an hour early for a kids party I was holding and then expected to be entertained. Their PIL live next door so it's not like they had nowhere else to go, just massively selfish.

The worst thing was that I had an extra hour with them and then they still tried to keep talking to me at the party when I was catching up with other friends. I felt like slapping them! Don't turn up an hour early to a two hour party then talk about yourself for an hour and then monopolise the host for the short time they have for entertaining.

I should have done a thread for that.

I wish it was ok to just say "sorry, you can't come in"

Time isn't an abstract concept. it is the same for everyone. People who are late or early are massively annoying, but for coming to your house later is better. Someone turned up an hour early for a kids party I was holding and then expected to be entertained. Their PIL live next door so it's not like they had nowhere else to go, just massively selfish.

The worst thing was that I had an extra hour with them and then they still tried to keep talking to me at the party when I was catching up with other friends. I felt like slapping them! Don't turn up an hour early to a two hour party then talk about yourself for an hour and then monopolise the host for the short time they have for entertaining.

I should have done a thread for that.

I wish it was ok to just say "sorry, you can't come in"

I don't get any visitors, but I have a friend who I sometimes meet in town for coffee or lunch.

We'll agree to meet at 12, then she'll phone me at 11am, saying "I'm here, waiting for you, get a move on!"

Drives me nuts, and telling her we arranged for 12 never works.

I am always punctual, never late, but this friend does this all the time.

YANBU. PIL had said they would arrive mid-morning on Christmas Eve - they turned up mid-morning. I was still in the shower, DD was still in her pjs - thankfully DH was dressed and could entertain them while I ran round getting everything sorted!

Yanbu. I'm often early as i don't always trust myself to be able to find places easily, especially in the dark. If I do arrive early i either park in another street out of sight and wait, or go for a walk around the block, or wander round the shops for a whole ... The only time i would be early is if a) I know the person very well and that they wouldn't mind b) the agreed time is actually a bit later than they would have ideally liked, or c) I know that they would appreciate some help getting ready.
It's ultra rude to turn up for a kids party early and expect an extra 30 mins of child care! But this happens to us every year ... Put 2.30 on invite, ppl turn up at 2 .. I've learnt to put start times as 2pm, 3pm etc as ppl seem to ignore the .30. Very annoying.

Yeah some friends I don't mind if they come early "great, can you set the table, sort the music out and I'll chat to you in a bit as I'm just concentrating on this bit of cooking". Others, not so much. My mum and dad are ALWAYS early which dannoys DP as hell always cut things fine.

90 minutes early?! That's rude. They MUST have thought they were "only" 30 minutes early, are you sure they didn't think you agreed 12 and you actually said 1 for example?

YANBU

This winds me up too. ILs are always early for everything and MIL sits with a cats bum face if I'm not ready.

The worst time though was a friends DH who kindly offered to pick us up for a night out. He arrived an hour early as I was just getting out of the shower and still needed to dry and straighten my hair, put make up on and get dressed.
Everyone else that night took the piss out of me for not getting ready earlier. I asked if I'd got the time wrong but no it was apparently v funny that I was rushing around to get ready

Twats.

I don't answer the door to people who arrive early. It's very inconsiderate of them and they can sit in their car until the time they were invited for.

Ullapool they said 'sorry so early, journey took less time than we'd expected'. So I think they knew exactly how early they were. But just didn't have the nous to self-entertain until lunchtime! I was a bit tightlipped until it was an acceptable hour to open a bottle of wine

Being early is just so rude. I would never do that unless there were some massively mitigating circumstances, and even then I'd be constantly apologising.

10 minutes early is fine, 90 mins is v v bad.

Grovel I like your style, wish I had the nerve!

Yanbu. Guests who arrive early at my house are usually greeted with "AAAAARGH oh no" which is rather rude but I can't help myself. It always means I end up missing having a shower and getting myself ready so I spend the party looking a complete mess in my jeans and slippers when everyone else is dressed up. Pisses me right off. Worst offenders are PIL but I've learnt to knock an hour off their ETAs now.