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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious at what FIL tried to show dd3 today?

56 replies

Dancergirl · 29/12/2013 18:26

We visited my PIL today, they live about an hour away. I've posted before about FIL being pretty disinterested in his grand-daughters but thought we'd make an effort today.

We arrived, took coats off etc, FIL was trying to get dd3 to warm to him. Dd was a bit clingy at first (to me) but after a while I realised they weren't in the room. Lunch was just about to be served then so I went upstairs to find dd. FIL was going on about showing 'something' to dd3 and was unzipping something that looked like a long canvas case. I then realised it was a gun Shock as I suddenly remembered dh saying he keeps a gun, no idea why.

But to show it to a 6 year old....??! I hurriedly ushered dd downstairs. I have no idea what to do or who to talk to, or if I'm over-reacting. I don't know much about guns but it looked like it was about a metre long.

OP posts:
NigellasDealer · 29/12/2013 18:27

bizarre actually.....

ilovepowerhoop · 29/12/2013 18:27

it was probably deactivated. My dad used to have guns and knives. What did you think would happen of she saw the gun?

hotair · 29/12/2013 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joules68 · 29/12/2013 18:28

Does he have a licence?

Whitegrenache · 29/12/2013 18:28

My 2 Dc aged 4 and 7 went shooting with their dad his week and loved the guns! Not sure what the problem is? Unless you are against guns and FIL is aware of this?

WonderBarbara · 29/12/2013 18:29

You are nbu, neither are you over reacting. What a horrible thing to show to a child. Are you in the Uk OP? Just wondering what your FIL is doing with a gun anyway Hmm

SantasPelvicFloor · 29/12/2013 18:29

My DC saw guns in national trust properties at young ages and have grown up unaffected by the experience...

What exactly did you fear?

OwlinaTree · 29/12/2013 18:29

I'd be upset about this but he was probably just trying to think of things to do with her to keep her interest and picked this very inappropriate thing.

I'd say please don't show the children your gun, I'm uncomfortable with it and leave it at that.

KellyHopter · 29/12/2013 18:30

I find weapons enthusiasts peculiar to say the least but for a 6yo wouldn't it just be a fleetingly interesting thing?

Trying to think how DS would react...probably feign interest for all of a minute out of politeness and then promptly forget all about it.

IamInvisible · 29/12/2013 18:31

I'm not sure I understand the problem.

What do you think would happen because she has seen a gun?Confused

TartyMcTart · 29/12/2013 18:31

I agree, he was probably trying to make an effort with her and this was the only thing he could think of to show her. He is obviously interested in the gun so thought your DD would be too. I wouldn't have a problem with it. My two (boys, age 6 + 9) would think this was just fantastic!

Original poster
Dancergirl · 29/12/2013 18:31

Yes I'm in the UK. I don't know much about the law, do you need a licence?

I don't know exactly why but I just feel very uncomfortable about it.

OP posts:
Thisismyfirsttime · 29/12/2013 18:32

Assuming he holds a license and stores/ handles it correctly what is it you're worried about?

Salmotrutta · 29/12/2013 18:34

I grew up around shotguns (rural) and I'm fairly sure I wasn't scarred by it.

I'm also sure your FIL doesn't keep it loaded and if he's following regulations it will be kept under lock and key in a secure cabinet.

Thisismyfirsttime · 29/12/2013 18:34

Sorry, cross posted. I'd just tell him I didn't want my dc's to see it again.

Whitegrenache · 29/12/2013 18:35

Sounds like a shotgun and yes you need a licence and it needs to be in a locked cabinet. My personal opinion is that kids should be taught the dangers and responsibilities that come with gun use and that they are used for sport. My dd soon to be 8 is learning to use a air pistol as part of pony club tetrathlon competitions. The safety rules are so strict and the kids learn how to handle a gun safely and responsibly.

1sassylassy · 29/12/2013 18:36

It could be an air rifle,if so he doesnt need a licence.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 29/12/2013 18:36

I wouldn't have been bothered. He just thought it would be something to show her, a way to connect with her... no big deal, it's not like he loaded it and was showing her how to shoot it. It was a misguided way of engaging with her, that's all.

Petitgrain · 29/12/2013 18:36

I think he was trying to bond with her, showing her something unusual to get her interested and talking. That's it. You over-reacted I'm afraid.

fifi669 · 29/12/2013 18:40

I understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't want my children to see or handle guns unless necessary (eg growing up on a farm).

Best case scenario they don't give a monkeys. Worst case they now know there's a gun in the house and try to find it later to play with. I wouldn't be happy but I'd just have a quiet word and make sure it's out of reach/sight.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 29/12/2013 19:16

I know he was trying to bond with her but it just seems a really odd way to do it!

OP posts:
UterusUterusGhali · 29/12/2013 19:20

I can't see the problem tbh.

I was shooting from that age and if anything it was utterly, utterly drilled into us how bloody dangerous they are.

Ime kids who grow up with guns don't go on to commit gun crime!

I wouldn't let my kids have a toy gun however. They're not toys!

WhoNickedMyName · 29/12/2013 19:20

Perhaps it's not that he's disinterested in his granddaughters, he just doesn't know how to communicate and play with little girls.

I think you overreacted to the gun thing. Was your DD interested in seeing it? I'm unsure what exactly you didn't like about it.

ServicePlease · 29/12/2013 19:22

DH has guns (licenced) and he and DD's (7 & 5) have used them in the garden. I really can't see a problem unless it was loaded in the house and he let her have free reign of it.

Echocave · 29/12/2013 19:27

I don't really see the problem here either. As long as it wasn't a pistol or sawn off shot gun (which I suppose I'd associate with criminal activities), it sounds like a rather unusual way to be friendly with your dd.