To not give her a lift

[Edenviolet]

Have a wedding to go to later in the week.

We have four dcs all with various health issues and getting out of the house is a major struggle and stressful. Ds2 is 1 and currently gets very very distressed in his car seat if he can see me at all. If I sit in front passenger seat he's fine ( he has a rear facing seat). Even if I sit on the same row of seats but not directly next to ds he can see me and screams.

Mil has informed dh that we will have to take her mother as well. Its a 40 min drive and would mean me sitting where ds can see me and he will scream and want to get out off the seat, its also hard enough getting dcs in car and going anywhere but having to drive to pick her up too will make it a longer journey.

I text mil and asked could bil and his partner take her mother instead and she seems really annoyed. I have nothing against mil s mother it just makes things difficult for us having to take her.

Bil partner has a big car too and less people to take so it would be much easier for her but mil is making me feel guilty.

The taxi is a lovely idea-but why should OP be paying-unless she wants to?

Whose wedding OP?

Do you all have/want to go?

Yeah exactly diddl why should OP be paying or getting a taxi herself when she can go in her own car?

Also, as usual, people are suggesting things the OP has already ruled out, like her going with BIL or baby going in front or taking two cars (I assume since OP can't drive that they don't have two cars). RTFT!

The OP will not be paying, MIL should pay. It was her fucking stupid idea!

"In a long list of DH not considering OP or DCs before himself or his family, it must be tiresome."

Well if he's arranging stuff like this a lot then why isn't he the one dealing with the consequences ?

Why doesn't the OP just say fine - you go and I'll stay here or refuse to go till it's sorted out that OP doesn't have to cope with a screaming baby for 40 minutes.

Be less accommodating OP - let your DH find a solution and get state clearly what you are not prepared to put up with - if that not having your DC unhappy for car drive so has to go in front then get him to work out how to transport everyone he has agreed to take is happy.

I don't think this is a MIL thing - all she did was ask, and it sound like she might have asked BIL first anyway, your DH was one who O.K it.

as tinselledUp says

let dh deal with it

Will he deal with it though, or just leave it as it is??

He won't deal with it. Threads from this OP make me sad. 4 disabled/unwell DC and a useless husband. It seems to boil down to making OPs life harder to accommodate everyone else. All a bit shit, really.

It is all sorted out, bil will be taking their nan.

We had a bit of a rubbish day yesterday and a horrible evening as dd2 was unwell (had to phone 999 and wait an hour for an ambulance after she had a severe hypo). I think this made dh realise we have a lot to deal with and need to make things a simple as we can for ourselves.

Mil hasn't said anything else about it, I think she may have but for what happened last night so it looks like everything is resolved.

he will be driving with a screaming baby, not the op, who i suggest wears earphones. maybe her dh, who is driving, doesn't think it is that big a deal. maybe they will be late. maybe the kids will be knackered. i suggest the op doesnt go, or just takes herself off to the bar for the night.

x post

i'm glad your dh has seen sense

hope your dd is ok

Well if there's anothe health issue on the day you could end up not going or being late-or husband taking nan whilst you wait for an ambulance!

Good job it's sorted out.

Hope all goes well & you have a nice day.

Whew!

Mind you, making your life simpler is something DH should have thought of a looooong time ago!