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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by email from MIL about DD chocolate consumption?

59 replies

murielisterrible · 29/12/2013 10:22

DD is 3. She spent all yesterday morn with pals and then didn't nap. PIL popped in for a visit late afternoon and as they walked over the door I warned them DD was slightly manic in that way 3 year olds can get when overtired. And indeed she was during their short visit. I am also full of the cold.

^Later last night MIL sent this email to DH;

Maybe until Muriel is back to full health you should try to keep DD away from chocolate.She is excited about all her presents but chocolate makes children hyper and Muriel could do with DD being a little quieter at present.

Looking forward to seeing you on Thursday.^

DD had no chocolate when they were there. We had some, but DD had none and didn't even ask for any. I think she had a chocolate coin and one sliver of cake yesterday, which is more than she would normally have. MIL does not know how much or how little chocolate DD consumes.

I am a tad pissed off. AIBU to be?

OP posts:
Balistapus · 29/12/2013 10:27

I'd just assume they'd got the wrong impression, ignore the email and never mention it again. If they bring it up just say she didn't have any chocolate. End of story.

RhondaJean · 29/12/2013 10:28

Who is Muriel?

TarkaTheOtter · 29/12/2013 10:29

Never unreasonable to be pissed off about unsolicited advice IMO. I wouldn't dwell in it though.

ChristmasJumperWearer · 29/12/2013 10:29

Muriel is the OP.

OddFodd · 29/12/2013 10:29

Send her a link to the numerous sources of research that show that sugar doesn't cause hyperactivity in children

Original poster
murielisterrible · 29/12/2013 10:30

Yes, Muriel is me, sorry.

OP posts:
HoratiaDrelincourt · 29/12/2013 10:30

Muriel is OP.

Chocolate doesn't make children hyper. Christmas and not enough excitement do.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. At least she cares about you.

HoratiaDrelincourt · 29/12/2013 10:30

*not enough exercise

WhoNickedMyName · 29/12/2013 10:31

They got the wrong idea, they mailed your DH and expressed their concern that you could do with some peace and quiet.

What's to be pissed off at?

Leave your DH to reply to the e-mail, or not.

IslaValargeone · 29/12/2013 10:33

I'd be inclined to let them off this one tbh.
I think they were really concerned that you needed some peace, they just went about it in a cack-handed way unfortunately.

ChristmasJumperWearer · 29/12/2013 10:33

FWIW, when my DMum was visiting she told me quite seriously that the DCs' tummy upsets were being caused by the tiny bit of mould on their bath mat and that I should clean it immediately.

Which I did, immediately. Then later thought....what tummy upsets?! My DCs don't have tummy upsets! Then I got pissed off. (My DMum has never been known for her cleanliness at the best of times anyway.)

YANBU to be pissed off at unsolicited (and ill-informed) advice!

Catsmamma · 29/12/2013 10:35

it's an email to dh, so it's up to him to tell his ovebearing mother to keep her sticky beak out

or to laugh and point at her and just say, "look muriel has the cold, and dd is a bit overwrought with the festivities. We'll see you on thursday" and completely forget all about it.

and then take the biggest box of chocolates that you can lay your hands on and make sure everyone eats them and spoils their appetite for lunch! :D

bella411 · 29/12/2013 10:38

Although she may be wrong about the chocolate I think the email is sweet. She can see you are ill and is just giving ur dh a pointer so u don't feel worse or u remain I'll for longer. As looking after a child whilst I'll isn't fun, even mind an overtired/ hyper child.

Obviously ur mil likes n cares for u otherwise she wouldn't have said anything to ur dh. So ignore the chocolate remark n see it as the nice email it is intended

TarkaTheOtter · 29/12/2013 10:39

Replace the word "chocolate" in her email with the word "grandparents" and she might have a point! Grin

bella411 · 29/12/2013 10:40

Although she may be wrong about the chocolate I think the email is sweet. She can see you are ill and is just giving ur dh a pointer so u don't feel worse or u remain I'll for longer. As looking after a child whilst I'll isn't fun, even mind an overtired/ hyper child.

Obviously ur mil likes n cares for u otherwise she wouldn't have said anything to ur dh. So ignore the chocolate remark n see it as the nice email it is intended

BananaNotPeelingWell · 29/12/2013 10:41

Aw I think its nice she can see you need a bit of peace and is trying to get dh to see that too.

diddl · 29/12/2013 10:41

Perhaps it should have read"your wife is ill, pull your finger out & look after your daughter"?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 29/12/2013 10:41

Sounds like DH's mum trying to give her son some advice about you needing some peace and quiet. The email wasn't sent to you. I don't see any criticism in it.

I'm amazed by the lengths some people will go to to find offense/criticism.

Original poster
murielisterrible · 29/12/2013 10:41

But the thing is, I think if she really was ever so concerned about me, she would have suggested taking DD when DH is back at work this week (they live two mins down the road). I don't need them too, I really am fine, but surely if you really were so concerned you felt the need to send that email, you would put your money where your mouth was?

OP posts:
Iamsparklyknickers · 29/12/2013 10:42

I read that email as concern for you Confused

If it was to your DH I think your mil was commenting on his lack of consideration for you in the way he was parenting.

Clumsy, awkward and ultimately still poking her nose in, but still an attempt to be thoughtful of you.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 29/12/2013 10:45

Nope, I think you're projecting and overthinking. She may have a life other plans.
Unless there's a backstory, YABU.

Nancy66 · 29/12/2013 10:46

she was asking her son take care of you. She was being nice. You clearly don't like her.

diddl · 29/12/2013 10:49

"I think if she really was ever so concerned about me, she would have suggested taking DD when DH is back at work this week"

Hahahahahahaha!

Really?

Iamsparklyknickers · 29/12/2013 10:49

Not sure 'advice' (ha) for her son necessarily follows that she should offer to babysit?

I had an op and know that my DP phoned his mum for some washing machine related query - should she have come round and done the ironing?

Cocolepew · 29/12/2013 10:50

I don't read it as concern, sounds a bit judgey to me, but I might be clouded by my own mil hatred.