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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want the visitor in maternity ICU to stfu?

56 replies

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 06:01

She firstly has a cold and has been blowing her nose everywhere, she then stuck her head in my cubicle to have a look I presume as the midwife left the curtain open and has been talking non stop since 4.30 the horrible woman. She is a visitor!!! She woke me up with her disturbing nonsense several times too. This is a high dependency area for really ill ante/postnatal women and I have enough to deal with without her inconsiderate self stressing me out. Stupid woman and her disgusting germs! She has now taken my partners chair! Omfg I'm about to kill her. Even if she would stop talking for five minutes I wouldn't be too pissed off about the chair! Please tell me I'm being unreasonable in my intense hatred for this ridiculous person!

OP posts:

MidniteScribbler · 28/12/2013 06:03

Call the midwives. They're pretty good at turfing people like that out on their arse moving people along.

steff13 · 28/12/2013 06:08

I don't think you're being unreasonable, let the midwife or nurse or whoever know.

I do think it's unreasonable that you don't have a private room in maternity ICU. :(

gamerchick · 28/12/2013 06:10

Have a word with the midwives.. she shouldn't be there if she has a cold.

Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 06:30

I am having a meltdown at all of it really. Been here for too long! I was in a private room but not enough staff to look after me and there are only 3 beds in the labour ward ICU. Gagh. Bad bad times all round.

OP posts:

TwoCatsInTheYard · 28/12/2013 06:38

Are you in the UK? Why on earth is she visiting at this time of the morning and why is the hospital allowing it?

steff13 · 28/12/2013 06:38

Oh, poor you. That really sucks. I would definitely complain, you need your rest and if she's really ill she doesn't need to be spreading her germs around to women who are already in a delicate condition. I hope you get out soon.

Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 06:42

She stayed overnight and yes in UK
Not sure why she was allowed to stay I though it only partners. I think she is the mother of the girl next to me as the father (of the girl) is curled up in the other chair. It's all quite unacceptable as far as I'm concerned but I don't really know what to say to the midwives as I'm in a bit of a state after everything that's happened.

So selfish some people!

OP posts:

gamerchick · 28/12/2013 06:45

Just say the lady next door is really disturbing you and can they have a word.

Shitehawke · 28/12/2013 06:45

Poor you! I hated every second I was kept in after having my ds. A woman opposite me wouldn't stop talking either, and when her visitors left after being talked at by her all day she got her phone out and called people!!!!

Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 06:48

She is standing next to a midwife blowing her bloody nose and they doing nothing!!!! So fucked off. She is clearly ill.

OP posts:

TwoCatsInTheYard · 28/12/2013 06:49

Tell the midwives to ask her to keep the noise down as she is disturbing your sleeping/resting. Tell them that you are feeling too poorly to speak to her yourself.

Hope you are out of there soon.

MrsMook · 28/12/2013 06:55

YANBU

Vistitors other than birth partner were not allowed into the maternity HDU when I was in it, and with good reason.

I hope your situation improves soon.

StealthPolarBear · 28/12/2013 06:58

You poor thing. Yes there are 2 issues, the disturbance and the germs she's spreading.

steff13 · 28/12/2013 06:58

If the midwives know about her and aren't doing anything, is there someone above the midwives you could speak with, a supervisor? Here, it's generally the nurses who take care of any issues, but there is also a head nurse. I don't know how that works with midwives.

Or, maybe they just don't realize it's bothering you and you should just say something.

Pawprint · 28/12/2013 06:59

That is ridiculous - stupid woman.

I wasn't in ICU but my baby was in SCBU and I was recovering from being ill during the birth and from an emergency section.

The poor woman next to me in the ward had obviously had a bad birth and was on a blood drip. Her MIL visited every day and was a complete PITA. She stayed for hours and just prattled on really loudly. I was ready to kill her as, no doubt, was her poor DIL.

At one point she picked up her DIL's baby and asked all the women on the ward whether "Is he cute, or am I biased?". I don't think she got a v enthusiastic response.

Hope the woman and her germs bugger off soon.

Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 07:03

Phew I was starting to think I was being a complete bitch. The midwives here are usually very good and the care exceptional I'm this particular area and I can't complain about how they've looked after me at all but this has really upset me. They've taken this woman's daughter to the ward thank god. So she has buggered off too. I think the granddaughter must be in neonatal. This thought has sent an entire new shockwave of terror through me.

I don't know why her mother was allowed to stay to be honest and usually I would have no problem with explaining quite concisely why her mother being here was under the circumstances entirely unacceptable.

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Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 07:08

Pawprint
Omg is all I can really say to that. How hideous. I would have probably not coped at that judging by my coping skills at this little episode.
DPs chair is back which has cheered me up no end.
That and the fact she has finally buggered off.
If I say anything then I'd probably spend the next few hours worrying if I was BU and that's not what I should be doing right now so thank god she left when she did. Another MW just have strict instructions to return the chair too. Phew.

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StealthPolarBear · 28/12/2013 07:13

How are you getting on? Do you know when you'll be out, and when will your dp be in to see you?

Dolallytats · 28/12/2013 07:13

I'm glad she has gone. When I was pregnant with DS, now 5, I had a high risk pregnancy and was in hospital several times for weeks on end. One woman opposite me kept getting up to gob in the sink-with all the vile noises beforehand (eugh, makes me feel sick to think about it). I complained and she was told to stop. Her mum came over and shouted at me!! I told her it was disgusting and unhygenic-she was moved a few hours later!!

Although there were seven of us in the ward and it was bothering everyone, I was the only one to complain. I really don't understand how some people can't see (or care) about the impact of their behaviour on others.

I hope you're ok

Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 07:39

Oh wow dolallytats, that's an amazing woman right there! How absolutely vile!
No idea how long we will be here and have been here for weeks. Could be weeks more! screams
DP will be over this morning once he has sorted out the other beasties! They appear to be running rings around him He is managing...for now.

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Birdsgottafly · 28/12/2013 11:06

Whilst I agree that whoever is visiting should be considerate of others on the ward, it isn't just partners that can stay and rightly so.

It is Birth partners, or two named means of support.

Support is needed by some women for a variety of reasons, including MH, LD's, anxiety issues and also of course if the baby is in danger.

My ex DH niece (who I have only known two years) gave birth this year, she is a care leaver and works with CAHM's closely, we knew that there would be attachment issues etc. it was easier for the hospital that we supported her, as well as being better for her.

Anniegetyourgun · 28/12/2013 11:12

Look on the bright side, maybe she just had an allergy, not a cold. You can still hate her for the talking and the peeping though.

Slatecross · 28/12/2013 11:41

How annoying!!! You poor thing, I hope the situation improves and you're home soon. X

Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 11:52

Birdsgottafly

You've missed the point and she had come back from an elective c section in fact.

Thanks for your input but I'm off to check the machines are keeping my child alive.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ginwitch · 28/12/2013 11:54

Thanks Annie, yep the peeping was ridiculous. Anyway we've moved on now and focus is on the tiniest child in neonatal and not the most annoying woman in ICU.

Thanks for all the messages it's really helped.

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