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Original poster

Gendered toys- why so bad?

94 replies

ThePollyAndTheIvy · 26/12/2013 23:53

I just don't understand why they're such a problem.

Don't get me wrong, if my DS (once born) wanted to play with barbies or dolls I would have no issue with it, I just genuinely don't understand the MN dislike of gendered toys?

Please don't think I'm being sarcastic or facetious, I honestly don't know enough of the reasoning to form an opinion and would like to know more!

OP posts:
ouryve · 27/12/2013 20:10

whereisshe - as a parent of boys, I despair of the manufacturer's assumption that my boys are interested in football, wrestling and shooting things. Some "boy" toys are horribly aggressive, so I'm sure I despair as much as any parent of girls.

mrsjay · 27/12/2013 20:10

where i work with under 5s it is the little boys who play with the dolls and prams they rush to them and play the proper way with them the little girls are not that fussed, I wonder if it is because they dont have these toys at home or not

feelathome · 27/12/2013 20:12

formerbabe, no one wants to deny your son his masculinity, just want to offer children the choice of what toys they want, to play with however they want.
No one is suggesting any boy HAS to play with dolls and cookers, only that they should be able to without teasing should they choose to do so.

formerbabe · 27/12/2013 20:15

Like I said, I am easy going, they can play with whatever toys they want. I do however think there is a type of uber cool parent who loves it when their son shows an interest in dolls/prams and encourage it to show how liberal they are!

feelathome · 27/12/2013 20:17

I would love for it not to been seen as liberal, just normal.

MrsWembley · 27/12/2013 20:20

One if the people speaking on R4 this morning seemed to blame the retailers for having separate boy & girl shelves or even separate parts of the store. But yes, manufacturers are the ones putting toys in pink boxes, which will put off the boy who's been told by his peers (not parents!) that pink is for girls.

V. sad about the poster (sorry, on phone app and can't go back to see your nn) who chose to stop her course because the men saw her as being in the wrong place. And people still think that aiming cars and all that dirty, mechanical, engineering stuff at boys is fine?Hmm

mrsjay · 27/12/2013 20:22

I know i said It didnt matter they are just toys but i think the worst toy one of mine got was PINK jenga bloody jenga it is a stacking game Hmm

feelathome · 27/12/2013 20:27

MrsJay that is a large part of the problem.
Girls products are pink, meaning by default, everything else is for boys. Boys get the standard version of most things, and girls have the pink one.
Why can't everyone have the standard version? It begins at such a young age, even baby stacking cups come in pink now. I have heard of people picking up the old multi-coloured ones in shops only to be told by the shop staff that there is now a girls version if they are buying for a girl. (for girls version, read pink) Why cant the female babies have the multi coloured one, do they not need to learn the names of all the colours?

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 27/12/2013 20:28

because it inhibits children esp boys as there is sterotyping that tey should not play with pink girls toys.

mrsjay · 27/12/2013 20:30

I can honestly say there was not so much of it when my eldest dd was a little girl or maybe i was just lucky and the cant of toys she was into wasnt that pink

formerbabe · 27/12/2013 20:30

They make things in blue and pink for purely money making purposes..

Eg...mum/dad buys dd a pink bike. Next child is a boy, so instead of passing bike down, they feel they need to buy a new one.

Its economics really.

traininthedistance · 27/12/2013 20:30

Great posts JapaneseMargaret!

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 27/12/2013 20:33

Y Y Japanese Margret.

Loveyouthree · 27/12/2013 20:42

I don't get this either. Those saying

"Why can't DS have a pram? Men push prams."
"Why can't DD play with toy cars? Women drive cars."

....well yes, so you've basically just proved that these childhood "gendered" toys have fuck all to do with future choices...

I was a right tomboy when I was a child. Hated pink etc. That makes me cringe now! I wish I was more girly.

MrsMook · 27/12/2013 20:51

Our friend mocked our 18m old's lilac pushchair. He soon shut up when we pointed out that he pushed his son in a pushchair. Lilac was the only non-pink colour in stock that day. The prams and pushchairs I had as a child in the 80s were red, burgandy and navy blue- totally neutral. If my children were girls, I still wouldn't want every piece of plastic in the house to be pink, I'd rather have a broad range of colours. Having everything in one colour is less stimulating.

timtam23 · 27/12/2013 22:33

A relative gave my DS2 (who is only just 4) this Boys' Activity Book for Christmas. It's full of burglars/criminals, pirates, spacemen, scientists, dinosaurs, cars, diggers. I've avoided any sort of "book for boys" up until now as I find them really stereotyped toward the rough-and-tumble which seems to be expected as "what boys should do". Also the "books for girls" are full of princesses, fairies & butterflies from what I've seen - which I would not have been keen on DS2 being given, had he been a girl. I really wish my relative hadn't bought the book, I know she would have spent time & effort choosing it but for me that makes it worse as she obviously thought it was the perfect gift for him! (I got DS2 a dolls' house as he enjoys playing with the one at nursery - although he also very much likes cars, diggers etc)

We also have an old pair of kids' sunglasses which are pink with a little flower on the frame. Last summer the DSs were fighting to wear them. This week DS1 (who is 5) said "ugh they're GIRLY" apparently according to DS1 boys cannot wear them because of the small plastic flower. Peer pressure working its way in I think, as neither DH or I have made any comments about things being girly.

annieorangutan · 27/12/2013 22:41

The only thing my girl plays with dolls though is to re enact wwe smackdown things like table matches dunno where I can get one of these girls that treat dolls like real babies. I quite fancy one as would be a lot quieter!

starlight1234 · 27/12/2013 23:00

I have Ds who is 6...he had a pink pushchair and doll...he doesn't like fighting and rough games but now he would die if I told anyone..I also wonder the reverse...Is the pink lego encouraging girls to do things that are generally gender neutral...

I spoke to my DS teacher about topics..she said a lot of subjects were subjects that interested boys as boys are more prone to write about things that interest them where as girls will write about anything...

I don't particualry like everything pink or blue there are many other colours...I don't want a pale blue or pale blue cash till...

I also find it a lot quicker now shopping for party gifts though..lazy but true, girl I go down the pink aisle

Girls and boys do play differently generally... I think we are supposed to pretend they don't my son was bought up with lots of girls around him far more than boys but has always been a lads lad

annieorangutan · 27/12/2013 23:13

If hes a lads lad why doesnt he like fighting starlight? Dd absolutely loves fighting but I dont know if its innate or just from the telly.

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