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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel I am constantly fighting a battle against "stuff"

224 replies

Notcontent · 26/12/2013 23:39

I should preface this by saying that i don't have a big house. Just a standard 3 bedroom.

But I feel like I am constantly putting things away, rearranging stuff to find new inventive ways to fit things in and in general trying to keep clutter to a minimum. Of course my dd is a huge contributor to the problem. I sometimes feel like things breed and multiply in her room!! Grin

I did a quick post Christmas Day tidy up today and already have a bag of stuff to take to the charity shop (to make room for new things).

If you don't have a huge house with masses of storage, how do you cope?

OP posts:
purrforamincepie · 27/12/2013 15:47

But don't you feel guilty? I have some sort of stuff-guilt, in that if I try to get rid of it I just feel awful.

My DH keeps things just in case, which really doesn't help. We also disagree quietly on where things should live, and neither of us caves, we just persistently keep putting things back where we think they should live. We have a baby, we're heading towards utter chaos :(

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 27/12/2013 15:51

I am going to do some work this afternoon on decluttering the kitchen, by eating the biscuits and chocolates therein. Will clear a lot of space.
And yes, I will be ruthless Xmas Wink

ilovesmurfs · 27/12/2013 15:54

Ours is just seven people in one house, and lots of lwgo etc, paperwork is a killer...

I now have £200+ worth of IKEA storage in my basket to help organize the new toys and am going to have a clear out once kids at school. I will never have a minimalist house, esp as dp has hoarding tendencies like his mother and sister but I do just declutter and take stuff to charity etc. Our house is just lived in, the one thing that really annoys me is how the top of the piano, fronts of bookcases end up with 'stuff' on them!

But most things have a home, could do with sorting out some of our wardrobes so the stuff in them is tidier.,,my youngest starts preschool in jan so I can blitz when I have some child free time for the first time in 14yrs!

silverten · 27/12/2013 16:29

Oh god I constantly have the sliding puzzle problem. this year on mat. leave is the year I kill the piles stone dead. The solution is not more space, it's less stuff. So don't bother buying more and more fancy storage thinking it will solve all your woes- it will just hide the evidence of your problem and you'll keep on accumulating stuff until you run out of space.

You need to decide what furniture you want to have in your house. Then decide what is going in each piece. Some things are a given: you need decent storage for bedding and towels, cleaning materials, kitchen equipment, etc. After you've dealt with essentials you can decide whether you have room for anything else!

Sort those categories out first: only keep what you need, and arrange your storage so that it is only 80% full by either selecting a large enough cupboard, or getting rid of things until it all fits in. You need that spare 20% empty so that when you need to put something away, you can do it easily, because if you have to take five minutes to re-stack your towels to fit another one in I guarantee you won't bother.

Then move onto more frivolous stuff. How much makeup do you realty need? How many pairs of shoes? If they are shoved in the back of a cupboard you've probably forgotten you even own them...

Personally:

I have a loose rule that if DD wants to keep it, it has to fit in her existing storage. She has a good sized room to herself, so I think this is fair. I hope that I will be able to teach her not to hang onto things she's finished with.

I decided last year that I don't have the space for paper books. So I'm waging a war on my shelves to replace the dead trees with electronic versions.

I also decided to get real about a couple of hobbies and collections I have. I'm never going to use up all the materials I have, so I've got rid of loads. I don't have the space or inclination to display my red glass collection, so that's going soon- it simply isn't earning its space. I have too many cookbooks- the ones I have never used and don't even flick through for inspiration are on the hit list.

I read quite a few de cluttering blogs. These helped me realise that the value of my living space was, in the main, much higher than the value of boxes of stuff I never looked at (because there was no space to be able to enjoy it!) Things I'd hung onto for sentiment's sake were meaningless in that owning the object didn't mean I kept the memory any fresher- but shoving cards from my wedding in a damp loft meant that they got spoiled (so weren't a nice reminder) AND took up useful space.

On getting rid of things: the shops are a wonderful storage facility. For hard-to-find 'vintage' things: we now have the Internet. Almost nothing is irreplaceable.

SoloXantiaClaws · 27/12/2013 16:35

"The solution is not more space, it's less stuff. So don't bother buying more and more fancy storage thinking it will solve all your woes- it will just hide the evidence of your problem and you'll keep on accumulating stuff until you run out of space."

So true!!

silverten · 27/12/2013 16:47

The only thing to bear in mind is that you do need some furniture to keep things in....

It's just ever so tempting to go and spunk a load of cash on trofast without actually binning any tat. The volume is still there: you've just re-arranged it- which when you think about it, is just playing the slidey squares game, albeit with slightly nicer looking squares...

rumbleinthrjungle · 27/12/2013 16:49

Try this www.amazon.co.uk/The-Life-Laundry-De-junk-Your/dp/0563534753/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388162690&sr=8-1&keywords=de+junk+your+life

I found it quite liberating! Stuff everywhere stresses me out, I have a cupboard which houses clothes and items I haven't used in a while but don't feel I should get rid of (guilt plays a large part) and if I haven't taken it out in six months it's donated.

My mother, sister and I were all struggling with this and we've made a family rule for adults at Christmas and birthdays the last two years: consumables or e versions only! Flowers, plants, food, drink, toiletries, candles, downloadables like kindle books or music...... things that take up no space or are used and then go. Actually we've enjoyed each others gifts a lot more since we've been doing it, there isn't the stress of 'oh heck where is that going'. The children's toys - get rotated a lot. One box in the house, several boxes in the garage.

silverten · 27/12/2013 16:52

Ironically I have just got rid of that book in the latest charity shop run... Smile

It wasn't earning its place on my shelf!

clearsommespace · 27/12/2013 16:53

Purrforamincepie I used to hang onto stuff out of guilt but some thoughts that helped me change:

if it's a badly designed article or an bad impulse buy: the wasted money is not going to come back just because I keep it in my cupboard. To the contrary, storing stuff costs money as you need a larger living space or a storage unit

we might need that duplicate/spare item in the future but someone else needs it now. If you're a naturally guilty person, you end up feeling guilty holding onto stuff rather than getting rid of it but at least you have a tidy living space

Of course if someone else has a stake you should check with them first. Ask your siblings before you get rid of things you inherited from grandparents or parents!!

pianodoodle · 27/12/2013 16:54

YANBU!

As soon as I have a clear out someone comes over with another bin bag full of tat that their child no longer wants. All very kind but...too much!!

I'm the only one in the house that enjoys keeping things to a minimum though so I have to sneak stuff out bit by bit... Grin

ilovesmurfs · 27/12/2013 16:58

I need thetrofast for lego! Not tat! We already have ten under bed storage boxes full of lego and a few stackable tubs, the trofast will hold their xmaslego, a unit for each room and there will be space leftover.

I regularly go through toys a regift, charity shop but with kids ages from 14-3 lotsstillgeys played with ie wooden train track and duplo, tbh we don't have tat, we have good quality toys, schleich figures, lego, some playmobil etc.

NiceTabard · 27/12/2013 17:00

I am a superb declutterer and utterly ruthless with "stuff".

Unfortunately I live with 1 adult hoarder and 2 small children who give me terrible en masse whenever I so much as try to throw away a broken plastic kazoo that came free from cbeebies magazine a year ago...

What I need is time in the house when none of them are here and a skip. That aint gonna happen any time soon though.... And so that gives me

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 27/12/2013 17:14

I do think children bring with them particular storage needs that even messy adult couples just don't have. I also need storage for toys that ds1 has that really need to be kept away from the toddler - I started with one trofast that somehow multiplied into five. If there was any more wall, there'd be more!

silverten · 27/12/2013 17:16

I don't generally count Lego as tat either smurf, if it's being played with.

If you have so much Lego you have to store it in the loft and consequently never get it out of the box (my DB does this) then as far as I am concerned it is just volume.

therunnawaybride · 27/12/2013 17:26

We have a whole wall of our dining room covered in expedit from ikea; best thing we ever did!

DrCoconut · 27/12/2013 17:37

My DH keeps everything he's ever touched, or so it feels. Same with DS1. He has ASD and finds changing his room/things very hard. We need to make more space.

ilovesmurfs · 27/12/2013 17:45

God my boys would never let it go in the loft! They play with it all the time, we got a laptop and a Samsung tab3 for Xmas, both still in theor boxes, ignored in favour of lego!

Rhubarbgarden · 27/12/2013 17:50

Inspired by this thread I had a big tidy and clear out. Two bin bags dropped off at the charity shop and a big box of toys ready to go the preschool jumble. Feel SO much better for it. Smile

I'm itching to get rid of the Christmas tree now.

bebbeau · 27/12/2013 17:51

yanbu

am the same

and have a tiny flippin house with no storage

am ruthless about throwing stuff away and decluttering though, thats half the battle

Pixel · 27/12/2013 18:01

I often bemoan the fact that we don't have a loft but actually I think it would be a very dangerous thing as it would be groaning under the weight by now!
I'm constantly looking for places to put things so the house doesn't look like a tip but it is difficult when there is no storage and limited scope for providing it (small rented house). Tbh dh is the worst culprit. Ok I do have hobbies, but my stuff fits in a small space and I don't have a lot of excess 'just in case' stuff. I have a shelf in the understairs cupboard for my knitting/sewing stuff and I have my tack on a rack behind a door as there really is nowhere else to put it (shed too damp, will get stolen if left at field), but that's it apart from some books and photos. The rest of the space is filled with his hobbies which appears to be all big stuff. Massive telescope, umpteen guitars, amps etc, computer stuff, bags full of mysterious cables that he apparently 'needs'. The dcs have a fair amount of toys etc but it is in their rooms so not something I have to feel bad about when people drop in.
It's all very well saying declutter but what if it is stuff you do actually use?

Pixel · 27/12/2013 18:03

I'm itching to get rid of the Christmas tree now.

Oh no, the one thing that I'd let stay if I could is the Christmas tree, even if we are sidling around it to get to the door. It's so pretty!

CremeEggThief · 27/12/2013 18:11

Two rules I go by are: do I use it? Do I love it? If it doesn't fit either criteria, it goes.

rumbleinthrjungle · 27/12/2013 18:13

Grin @ Silverten

silverten · 27/12/2013 18:46

Do you know the worst thing about it, rumble?

It was absolutely pristine.... I'd bought it, tidied my bookshelf in a fit of enthusiasm, and there it sat, untouched, for several years, until I realised that the biggest contribution it could make to my de cluttering efforts was to join the pile of stuff marked 'get rid'...

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