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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel I am constantly fighting a battle against "stuff"

224 replies

Notcontent · 26/12/2013 23:39

I should preface this by saying that i don't have a big house. Just a standard 3 bedroom.

But I feel like I am constantly putting things away, rearranging stuff to find new inventive ways to fit things in and in general trying to keep clutter to a minimum. Of course my dd is a huge contributor to the problem. I sometimes feel like things breed and multiply in her room!! Grin

I did a quick post Christmas Day tidy up today and already have a bag of stuff to take to the charity shop (to make room for new things).

If you don't have a huge house with masses of storage, how do you cope?

OP posts:
NinjaBunny · 27/12/2013 09:05

Urgh!

DP tends to 'hoard'. His mum is the same (begs me to come round and help her have a clear out but will only throw away one thing).

He's better now we have good storage (around 20 Billys) and can see how nice a house looks when it's tidy and 'stuff' is in neatly labelled storage boxes rather than in a selection of bags and old jars.

He's still awkward about stuff though. We recently left a rental property. I discussed with the landlord leaving our cooker (new house has one built in), lawn mower (new house has no lawn), hoover (works well but was bought for the laminated floors whereas the new place has carpet so we bought a hoover with more 'oomph'), some shelving that had been made to fit various cupboards/cubby-holes and we wouldn't need and the curtain poles and curtains (vendors were leaving naice curtain poles and I splashed out on some thicker curtains).

We didn't need the stuff and the next tenant may well be grateful for it. Good thinking, right?

Nope. It's all in the garage at our new place. DP was moaning only yesterday that he 'couldn't get in there'. I pointed out that he should've left XXXXX behind as we didn't fucking need it and he just responded with XXXXX only takes up 2 foot of space.

Yes, it does. He's right. But multiply that by the items of crap he brought and you can see how a good sized garage quickly filled up..!

Hmm
Sixtiesqueen · 27/12/2013 09:21

For me the stuff is actually stuff that has a place and nobody (but me) bothers to put it back. At the moment I can see:

Bike helmet on the hall table instead of the garage
Calpol left out of the medicine cabinet
Torch left out of the garage

And various other things.

My point is, even if you have perfectly good storage, it seems to be only me that bothers putting anything away.

Lovebargains · 27/12/2013 09:25

I really feel for you OP. Having the same struggle. Fed up of rearranging things all the time. We have had half the house decorated so have used this an opportunity to get rid of lots of clutter. House is done now but still there is lots of clutter Confused

I filled up 3 bags last night. I have quite a few Christmas presents cluttering up the place that I don't want. Going to give the endless boxes of biscuits and chocolates to the food bank.

I found this website quite helpful www.365lessthings.com/

I keep going back and reading it and it helps to keep me motivated

Rhubarbgarden · 27/12/2013 09:34

I hate hate hate clutter. When I lived on my own, in a small one bed flat, everything had its place and there was never a problem with stuff. I simply didn't buy anything none essential and keeping the place tidy was easy.

Now I live in a 'huge house with masses of storage', and the stuff problem is driving me insane. It's kids. They acquire crap, take it apart and spread things around from room to room. It is a never ending battle to transfer things back to where they should be. Dh doesn't help - he doesn't have a large amount of stuff but he's inherently untidy and incapable of putting things away after use.

Sometimes I pine for my tiny, orderly flat.

Squitten · 27/12/2013 09:52

Ugh, sounds familiar here too.

I find the worst culprits are all the things we have but only use once a year. Kitchen cupboards full of absurd serving plates, tea sets, extra linen and towels. I'm constantly tripping over all this stuff that rarely sees the light of day

pinkdelight · 27/12/2013 09:55

"Kipple drives out non-kipple"

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kipple

pinkdelight · 27/12/2013 09:55

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kipple

Never know why I need to tick a box to convert a link. Who wouldn't want a link converted?

Original poster
Notcontent · 27/12/2013 10:25

Well, at least if feel better now!!!

OP posts:
Golddigger · 27/12/2013 10:41

I always like living near people like you!
You have just reminded me that the charity shops are likely to have some lovely stuff in them soon!
[and yes I have a lovely large attic that has stuff in it. Not too much though[well I dont think so anyway!]]

CelticPromise · 27/12/2013 10:59

I feel like this. I have hoarding tendencies. I have got much better though, but still we have mountains of stuff. I need to get stricter. We are moving house and I just know I will end up transporting crap to the new place.

didireallysaythat · 27/12/2013 11:11

We moved twice in 6 months. I can't recommend it as a way of decluttering (quite expensive) but it helps. My current strategy: one room tidy - the room I'm in the most. A box by the front door with the Oxfam tag my bag sticker on it already (if you don't do this it's good - they make more money and you get nectar points). When its 3/4 full, seal it and take it in. Replace with the next box. Every now and then a big push to get rid of more (ebay, gum tree and free cycle).

But the real trick is not to buy or acquire more stuff. Tough with kids but it has to be done !

FreakinScaryCaaw · 27/12/2013 12:08

You've inspired me to declutter my large billy bookcase in the dining room. I've got rid of a wheelie bin size bag of recycling and 2 large bags of charity shop stuff. Am off there now to see if it's open?

We have friends coming for dinner tomorrow night and the dining room will look much nicer Smile

FreakinScaryCaaw · 27/12/2013 12:30

Just ordered this and am off to collect it now. Xmas Grin

missedmebythatmuch · 27/12/2013 12:39

We live in a small place and utter ruthlessness is the only way.

There are three Christmas presents already in the charity shop bag - I know DS won't play with them, and I don't want to give them house room until a polite amount of time has elapsed to get rid of them. It sounds mean but I have trained ILs and my own family not to give them excessive amounts of stuff. I had to be REALLY blunt, but my view is that it's not the GPs' prerogative to shower gifts on children unless they're going to pay for the space required to store it, so as no-one is volunteering to swap their giant baby boomer family house for our flat, it's really too bad. This did cause hurt feelings at the start, but better a grandparent's nose slightly out of joint for a week or two than me not being able to cope with the constant stress of giant noisy toys all over the place.

All our Christmas presents for four people fitted into two carrier bags this year, and I've got four bin liners ready for the charity shop so we're ahead this year.

I agree that not holding on to stuff until you get around to selling it or giving it to so-and-so is key. If it's high-value stuff, get it on eBay now, and otherwise just get rid of it.

lljkk · 27/12/2013 12:45

We buy relatively little but still have heaps of stuff. Arrgggh.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 27/12/2013 13:19

Have been out buying plastic storage boxes. So the clutter will still be there, but will look a lot neater. I hope.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 27/12/2013 13:46

So, I went to Argos instead of the charity shop. I'm now in possession of my tall boy for the bathroom. Argos man asked me 3 times if I was sure I could manage to carry it myself Xmas Hmm He looked aghast when I just stuck it under my arm and sauntered out Xmas Grin Mind you the wind was really bad, still is. Could barely open the car door.

Am going to the charity shop now then will build tall boy hopefully after that off to bed as am night shift tonight.

3asAbird · 27/12/2013 14:01

3bed new build semi here tiny shit kitchen no storage, no garage, 1 reception open plan lounge diner with patio doors no back door hate it.

shed full, loft possibly bulging under weight.

1 man child-claims be tidy hes as messy as kids.

small boy in box room-hardly bedroom.
me and hubby in 2nd small double room for bed, tv wardrobe nothing esle
share double wardrobe hubby and hate it,

small pokey bathroom the new sheves made no difference.

2girls in master bedroom no bunks 2single beds not much room.

got so bad xmas day husband was life we have to move.

I actually dont think we have a stupid amount its just

kids messy
not big enough house no where to hide.
not enough storage or room to put more potential furniture storage.

i delclutter regular.
lounge is tigght with tree in,

i cant seee us ever being minialist with kids.

shoom · 27/12/2013 15:08

missedmebythatmuch I like your point about swapping houses!

Same here, my toddler got piles of stuff that he won't play with (including duplicates and toys that are too young for him) which are going straight to the charity shop.

I told my side of the family that he didn't need anything and being 2, would have been happy to receive one toy, but I still have acquired lots of stuff from purple who would not take it well if I was honest and asked them to return or swap stuff for something else.

I have my flat on the market and have spent so much time decluttering that I have no interest in keeping stuff that we wont use.

Cheesy123 · 27/12/2013 15:17

I have just put up my expedit large storage unit it's fab but I have now lost the will and the room still
Looks like a bomb site. I need to be ruthless and charity shop loads of stuff

Southeastdweller · 27/12/2013 15:31

I've just spent four days at my Dad's house and had a lot of stuff in storage there (I was in between digs for a while), just way too much for one person. I'm bringing some of it back to sort out to take to charity shops and will go back there again soon to do more. Just looking at all that crap was quite shocking but I'm feeling very motivated after reading this thread to tackle the mountain next year.

I agree with a poster up thread - being ruthless is important.

YuleNeverKnow · 27/12/2013 15:37
  1. Declutter
  2. Declutter some more
Now check and see if you need more furniture in which to store stuff.

Do not do this in reverse or you will never get rid of the clutter.

scattyspice · 27/12/2013 15:41

Pinkdelight I love that there was an option to buy kipple mug at the end of that page! Grin

OctopusWrangler · 27/12/2013 15:42

I'm carrying on the declutter when I'm over my bug. Kitchen next as it is a tip:(

nickeldonkeyonadustyroad · 27/12/2013 15:46

our house is a very small "3" bed terrace.
when my shop closed, most of the stock (which I was assured would be bought in swathes Hmm) ended up comjng home with me.
and all the crockery and all of dd's shop toys.
dd no longsr has a bedroom (thank god for co-sleeping, cos our room isn't big enough for another bed) because all my stock's in tere.

I can't just get rid of the stock so we're stuffed until I sell it all.

for the rest of the house - this morning I decided to clear the dining area (half of the living room) and had to barricade dd into the other half with chairs. which didn't work because she worked out how to climb over them Hmm

it's totally depressing knowing something needs to be done but being incapable of doing it :(