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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this woman is mad getting into all this debt at Christmas???

85 replies

salsmum · 26/12/2013 23:34

It's a well known fact all these pay day loans charge massive interest..why didn't she just go to charity shops/cheap toy shops etc...surely it will be nice for her kids to have LOADS of pressies BUT in the long run they will suffer when she's stressed because she can't afford to pay the loans back we were scraping to get by this Christmas (I lost 3 members of my family, including my children's Nan and Father)...AIBU to think she's wanting to give them TOO much??? www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2529393/Unemployed-mother-two-borrows-1-700-EIGHT-payday-loan-companies-buy-hundreds-Christmas-presents-children-says-pay-back.html

OP posts:

HappyMummyOfOne · 27/12/2013 11:01

Poor children being used like that for a newspaper story by their mother. That will stay on the internet archives all theough their life.

Perhaps instead of bleating abut that fact that she got into debt, she should have a plan to get out of it. Sell the tv and sky box in the picture to start with, get a job and set a good example. She is an adult, feeding and keeping her children warm is priority not christmas presents.

FrameyMcFrame · 27/12/2013 11:15

Top post DizzyZebra. Those people who spend the most on their kids at Xmas often have the least money to spare. The reasons for this are complex, it's easy to cast aspersions from a position of middle class financial security.

NigellasDealer · 27/12/2013 11:25

brettgirl2 · 27/12/2013 11:48

how is taking personal responsibility smug and judgmental?

Kitty is right she milked the loans for all they were worth then ran to the papers (I read it in the mirror) thinking she wouldn't have to pay it back.

That in my book is stealing.

No kids need that much spending on them, unless my friends and I are particularly tight.

usualsuspect · 27/12/2013 11:53

[[http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

usualsuspect · 27/12/2013 11:53

[[http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

usualsuspect · 27/12/2013 11:58

Or this

DizzyZebra · 27/12/2013 11:58

Its not stealing. These loan companies know damned well theyre unlikely to see it back. Hence the high APR.

NigellasDealer · 27/12/2013 12:00

it is probably a set up to make middle england froth at the mouth.

brettgirl2 · 27/12/2013 12:02

its stealing if you can't pay it back and know you cant and get an iva at 1 pound a week, or get the debts written off (which is clearly what she is hoping for).

Probably the ony way they are going to get anything back is if the bailiffs repossess the presents.

brettgirl2 · 27/12/2013 12:04

nigella that's really patronising. No one on benefits can be criticised for anything they do? No frothing here, its just really sad.

NigellasDealer · 27/12/2013 12:06

i do agree with you that it is sad and also think this woman is silly but i do think the Daily Mail has a v unpleasant agenda that we should all be more aware of.
I really did not mean to be 'patronising' at all.

DizzyZebra · 27/12/2013 12:10

I dont think its judgemental to say she needs to take responsibility though, but it is judgemental to assume shes like that because she just cant be arsed to take responsibility. There are reasons people end up in this situation. Not just from personal actions but because of society in general.

The attitude in the UK is fucked up for the majority of it. The attitude to christmas annoys me and the views of people on MN are not representative of the majority of people i know.

Fortunately i dont give a shit am secure enough in myself not to fall into it, but the attitude around christmas particularly annoys me. You are villified for doing too much, villified for not doing enough. My daughters paternal family are jehovah witnesses - I have been called cruel for not snatching her away at christmas because they dont celebrate. Why call me names like that? Yet if i went over board there would be another group ready to have a go for spoiling her.

The same people who villify this woman will be the parents of the children who would pick on her kids if they wore unbranded, cheap clothing, or were seen in a charity shop (IME anyway) and would laugh at them not having an xbox or whatever console it is now.

Someone whos experienced that themselves isnt going to want their children to experience the same so i can see why they end up doing these things.

Its easy to say she needs to take responsibility but so does society for its largely shitty attitudes.

DizzyZebra · 27/12/2013 12:13

Brett thats not stealing. I dont remember anyone ever being charged with theft for getting an IVA anyway...

NigellasDealer · 27/12/2013 12:14

^ excellent post dizzyzebra

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 27/12/2013 12:53

I still stand by my earlier post that this woman, and others like her, need to take some responsibility for their actions and get a grip of their finances. I don't buy this 'it's society's fault' because that's just another way of passing the buck and avoiding personal responsibility. Like I said above, she hasn't found herself in this situation through no fault of her own e.g. through redundancy or serious illness. She knowingly took out several loans knowing full well that due to being unemployed, she couldn't afford the repayments on top of her normal outgoings. In the article she even says that when she can't afford to pay for food or bills due to paying her current loans back, she'll just take another loan out. I agree with the poster who said she needs to be selling things to help her get out of this debt, not buying more non-essential crap.

And no, I'm not coming at this from a pov of middle class financial security. I'm a single parent on a low income, don't get maintenance, was brought up in a council house, shop at Primark/Sainsbury's/charity shops for clothes, drive a 13 yo car and do my food shopping at Aldi. I don't care a jot for designer anything, we don't own any games consoles and still have a 10yo CRT TV. So, apart from the fact that I only have 1 DC and have a badly paid job, I'm probably in a similar situation to that woman. I really feel for her having lost her mum this year but she really needs to take responsibility for her own spending.

winkywinkola · 27/12/2013 12:58

Another one who thinks it's a set up.

It'll be swiftly followed by a vicious series of attacks on single mothers and benefit "scroungers" all in readiness for the next assault on our welfare state.

KungFuBustle · 27/12/2013 13:00

I'm debt collector. People like this boil my piss. I do 12 hour shifts and have to listen to awful stories, people not only listing a husband or wife but half their income, house repossession, people unable to work due to illness who took out affordable loans when times were good. I've came home and cried to my husband about some of the stuff I've heard.

We're trained to take into account changes, children, that food and heating and housing must come first. We put accounts on hold so people can get real debt advice from charities such as Stepchange and places such as citizens advice.

She'll whinge and say it's unfair when we chase the debt, I spent £76 on DS's Christmas. I'll be the baddy when I call her. I have to look at all ingoings and outgoings when I call her. Experience says she'll be on more than me.

I have every sympathy for most of my customers, not the likes of her though.

DizzyZebra · 27/12/2013 13:19

Softkitty - No, i dont think its OK to pass the buck completely. I am currently on benefits due to OHs job loss and my physical and mental problems. I am perfectly capable of budgeting, to the point that i am able to even save for an emergency or for any overlap between OH starting his job/being paid so we dont fall behind on rent etc (as im not sure how that all works and dont want to be in trouble).

I enjoy budgeting. Its like a challenge for me and id probably do it regardless of how much we have. I would never go to these lengths.

But i am confident in myself and dont feel the need to subscribe to things like christmas hype. I truely do believe that people like this are lacking something, whether its self esteem, confidence, a stable upbringing etc. I think there is something in the way of them taking the responsibility. There has to be. Why else would you struggle for months, for what is essentially a commercial gimmick (Even religious people shouldnt need to give presents, jesus didnt and he wasnt even born in december). The christmas thing is pressure from society. You have to be confident and secure in yourself to refuse to bow to pressure, especially when its from those closest to you, like most people i know.

brettgirl2 · 27/12/2013 13:35

So just because you wouldn't get charged means its not theft?

DizzyZebra · 27/12/2013 16:54

No, its nit theft because, well, look up the definition of theft. They willigly hand the money over with provision for the high liklihood they wont get it back.

Although the fact the law doesnt consider it theft also contributes to it, well, nit being theft.

pixiepotter · 27/12/2013 18:56

I'm debt collector. People like this boil my piss

people like YOU boil my piss how do you sleep at night?

DizzyZebra · 27/12/2013 19:03

I dont know much about debt collectors. Why do they boil your piss pixie?

fifi669 · 27/12/2013 19:07

Debt collecting is a job. It pays the bills. Why get mardy with kungfu ?

MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 27/12/2013 19:25

Kungfu

The people responsible for paying your wages, boil your piss?
You wouldn't have a job without them.
Why are you all so judgemental? Its not the way I'd choose to lead my life but she isn't harming you or me or anyone else.
What does it matter what the woman does or has done?

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