Why does my DIL not behave badly

[ginslinger]

My DIL comes to us for christmas and mucks in with everyone and she doesn't stop me picking up my grandchildren. In fact, she has just had a really nice chat with me and thanked me for her presents. Where am i going wrong? Why can't we have a festive row like everyone else.

[Lweji]

She wants you to get fat and diabetic.

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

is it organic fair trade chocolate though?

[ThreeWisePerpendicularVinces]

Gin, I think you need to start wrestling the pram off her whenever she goes out, and loudly and passive aggressively judge her parenting. On the small chance that this doesn't work, buy your DS a car for Christmas and give her a used toilet roll.


Otherwise, you've let us all down.

[MajesticWhine]

You should have have put more effort into criticising her parenting, and filled your DCs stockings with tat you bought at a car boot sale,
tossing aside the stocking fillers she had carefully chosen.

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

did you fail to start a conversation about your ex-student who is a bomb-disposal expert just as she said "come on kids, let's open some presents!"

did you miss endless opportunities wind her up by telling her ever so often that her kids are fussy eaters?

did you or did you not sing your other DIL's praises - especially on topics she is not interested in or has no way of changing

did you or did you not make comments about her weight - including twice comparing her to a very morbidly obese elderly relative then pretended "that's not what you meant"?

hmm? are you a mouse or a MIL?

[ginslinger]

Well i don't think it's all my fault. She started it by being nice to me!

[ThreeWisePerpendicularVinces]

It's a poor effort gin. If you want it enough, you can have an argument by the end of the evening.

[SledYuleCated]

I'm worried I won't be able to ever marry my current DP. His DM is far too lovely. Bought me a really thoughtful preset and was the perfect host when I went to visit.

What should I do?

[GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen]

How dare she?!?

[ginslinger]

Well i understand if you tell her she can only spend 5 mins with her first DGC and only after it's 3 months old and providing you and your DH are in the room then tat might help things along

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

gin

you need to start simple.
hint at things like how to boil the kettle.

or how to butter toast while explaining why your way is better.

then you build it up until you have figured out how to make her feel that you blame her for bad weather or unemployment.
be subtle at first, with just the right amount of passive aggressive - once she is suitable on edge it will be time for direct insults.

and for the coup de grâce get your son not only to get involved, but to take your side.

that will learn her! and you'll get your sweet revenge and much coveted arguments!
trust me, you can do it, it's not too late! We're all rooting for you!

mwah ha ha

[BadgersNadgers]

You're a disgrace, an aberration. Get off Mumsnet and go somewhere for happy families. We want bitterness and torture at Christmas

[lola88]

I said yes to MIL taking DS for 2 days over the holidays... she's even allowed to cuddle and feed him!!! Bet she's fuming :)

[ginslinger]

I'm sorry i've let everyone down. I shall resign fr the good of MN

[StealthPolarBear]

Do you call her children "my babies"?
Is she looking after your son properly? Shirts ironed, tea on the table when he gets home from a hard day's work?

[StealthPolarBear]

Just some suggestions. Feel free to ignore.

[Thegrinchishere]

I have just done the same to my mil. I tolerate her.... Keeping enemy's close and all that

[AwfulMaureen]

I feel the same about my MIL. She is annoyingly reasonable, kind and thoughtful. In fact, it's dawned on me recently that after 12 years of her being my MIL....I love her! How bloody DARE SHE make me love her!?!?

[ThreeWisePerpendicularVinces]

If she ever has a cold or flu, you could insist upon visiting for a protracted amount of time, not do any housework and make everyone go out for a meal?

[dancingwithmyselfandthecat]

You got off to the wrong start. You clearly didn't compare her unfavourably to you DSs previous girlfriends when they first met. You clearly supported their wedding plans and failed to turn up in a wedding dress. I presume it never even occured to you to turn up the day after shed given birth and demand feeding, while making comments about how she was spoiling the baby.

Its too late now. Do you have other sons who are still single? I'd focus on them...

[ginslinger]

I may have to insist that DS divorces her and marries again so i can do it all properly

[Jux]

You could make comments like "oh aren't you going to do x" a second before she is obviously going to do it. That works quite well if you're persistent with it.

[ImperialBlether]

Tut, Jux, she should be saying, "You're not going to do x, are you?" just before she is doing it.

It's far more effective.

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

gin

the thing is, if you can't come up with ways to irritate her at least you should research the subject. MN is a good start - just study all the MIL related threads and take notes.

you could, for example, the next time you visit her ask that she sticks a suppository up your arse.

hth