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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit sad that friends are replacing their Christmas cards with charity donations?

31 replies

BigBirthdayGloom · 24/12/2013 23:09

I'm glad the charity gets the money, obviously. But increasingly, cards to individuals with a couple of catch up lines or even more, have been replaced by an e-card to everyone. I miss the personal touch. Even a couple of lines of an email would be lovely.

OP posts:
RedLondonBus · 24/12/2013 23:11

Saves more trees. And another unnecessary Christmas expense which seems to be dispensed with nowadays..

notnowbernard · 24/12/2013 23:16

I hate Christmas cards I'm gradually phasing them out

Didn't do work ones this yr

I'm happy for a text/call/email wishing me good cheer

DirtyDancing · 24/12/2013 23:18

I agree, I think they are important for those friends and relatives you don't see very often for various reasons, such as distance. It's a nice way to say I still think of you, and to wish all the best for the year ahead

TheDayOfMyDoctor · 24/12/2013 23:19

I hate the grand announcement 'we're giving to charity instead of sending cards' on FB etc. Send cards, don't send cards, I'm easy either way. No need to make a grand gesture about giving to charity. I send cards bought directly from a charity and give to charity - I don't make grand announcements about it.

FanFuckingTastic · 24/12/2013 23:27

The point of sharing on Facebook isn't boasting, it's sharing the idea and the charity you want to support in the hope others might also think it worthwhile. We raised money for the hospice my step dad spent the last few days of his life and sharing it brought several more donations which was amazing.

Onesleeptillwembley · 24/12/2013 23:27

I haven't done them for years. And I make a point of getting on first with tubs of chocs for work, a charity donation of 20 quid and a request for none to be sent to me in the usual notice i put up. Every year someone else joins in.

Fluffyears · 24/12/2013 23:31

I tell people via Facebook so people know I'm not being rude not sending a card. I too am supporting a hospice where my DP's father was looked after at the end of his life.

Glitterfeet · 24/12/2013 23:35

It's great awareness for a charity if people post on FB about it.

Original poster
BigBirthdayGloom · 25/12/2013 00:16

See, I'd love to save trees by sending brief "merry Christmas"" emails with a personal bit relevant to the person I'm sending it to. But I guess if all you do is write to x love from y it really doesn't matter. Might think about it next year.

OP posts:
TheMaw · 25/12/2013 00:33

YANBU, I love sending Xmas cards and I love getting them. I think part of the decline in sending them is due to the insane postage costs.

HarpyFishwifeTwat · 25/12/2013 00:38

YANBU at all. I'm getting increasingly fed up of the smug messages - "we're not sending cards, we're giving money to charity". Christmas cards are one of the few personal messages left between friends and family, the one time in the year when we say to people that we're still thinking of them and now it's almost expected to lose all personal contact. As long as there's a supercilious message on Facebook then that's ok. Pah.

AnythingNotEverything · 25/12/2013 00:46

I love Christmas cards. I know it's a waste of paper and it's expensive, but I love them.

I've already bought most of next year's. I won't be stopping anytime soon.

Sixgeese · 25/12/2013 00:54

YANBU one of my friends announced a few week ago that thought it was a good idea if we all gave to a particular charity (one she supports) instead of sending cards, I think she had forgotten that a couple of weeks prior she showed me the 100+ cards that her husband had ordered off the Internet. They weren't cheap cards either. At least now I know that she likes over 100 people more than me (we have been friends for years, our husbands have worked together for nearly 20 years and both her DC were ushers at our wedding so I has thought that we might be one of the favoured few).

BackforGood · 25/12/2013 01:10

I do like receiving and sending Christmas cards from / to people I don't see often, but like to keep in touch with. Am very glad that most places where I see people often now do a 'One card to everyone and we'll have a collection for X charity' instead of individual cards nowadays though.

hoppinghare · 25/12/2013 01:12

I think it is rude to say on facebook that you are giving to charity instead of sending christmas cards. Whether or not a person gives to charity at christmas is nobody else's business and has nothing to do with whether or not you send christmas cards. If you can't be arsed sending them, that's fine. If you don't like the idea of them, that's fine. But sanctimonious announcements telling people you have given to charity on facebook are just annoying and have nothing to do with christmas cards.

Crinkle77 · 25/12/2013 15:24

Doesn't bother me. I hate writing xmas cards and actually I haven't sent any this year except for close family.

Highlander · 25/12/2013 17:32

No hoppinghare, if you have friends on Facebook, it's a great way to inform people that you're not sending cards. In the days before phones and social media, cards were pretty much the only option of wishing yiur frends a happy Crimbo. Social media can replace cards for some people, although it's till pretty rare.

It's not sanctimonius to suggest a charity donation, it's a lovely thought at Christmas, and no more sanctimonius than buying charidee cards.

looselegs · 25/12/2013 22:39

I think maybe some of the problem is the cost of postage.I bought a lovely card for my Aunt and Uncle and the postage was nearly as much as the card! So if you have 20 ordinary sized cards to post, it can cost over a tenner to post them!
a friend of mine takes in guide dogs and trains them. This year she has decided to donate the card and postage money to the Guide dogs and i can't say I blame her. I posted a card 1st class 2 weeks ago and the recipients never got it.

Theonlyoneiknow · 25/12/2013 22:50

This, said up thread
"The point of sharing on Facebook isn't boasting, it's sharing the idea and the charity you want to support in the hope others might also think it worthwhile"

I use to love sending cards and writing a note inside but I can't bear to pay the price of stamps so I give cards I can deliver in person, and make a donation to charity instead of buying stamps. Last year we donated to the local SANDS charity, and this year to the Lullaby Trust (former SIDS charity). Both small, not especially well known charities that I wanted to donate to (irrespective of using my Christmas card money, it just means I can give a little more). So by saying on FB what I am doing it is hopefully letting more people know about their work.

I also send a personal email as well as saying the above on FB.

Lilacroses · 25/12/2013 22:52

How odd. I would never think that sort pf statement was smug. The point of announcing it is surely to let people know why they're not receiving a card. I think it's a good idea for people you see all the time anyway. A bit different for those that live far away.

ChristmasJumperWearer · 25/12/2013 23:00

I agree with the charity/eco sentiments BUT love sending and receiving cards.

Also young DCs and older folks alike (who may not use FB) enjoy them, so why not? I make a particular effort to send them to neighbours and older friends/family who we don't keep in touch with via FB or email, and try to include a personal message and a photo of the DCs.

Each to their own.

Rhubarbgarden · 25/12/2013 23:31

Yanbu. Every year the Christmas cards on the walls get fewer and it makes me feel sad. I have many memories of helping my Mum hang up cards when I was a kid, sorting them out into size order, making the big list afterwards of who had sent them and then cutting them up to make tags for the next year. All part of family Christmas tradition. Silly and a waste of time, trees and money I'm quite sure, but so is a lot of Christmas. People spend so much on presents these days compared to when I was a kid, and light up their houses with more outside lights than a landing strip, it seems odd to me to penny pinch on the Christmas cards.

Travelledtheworld · 25/12/2013 23:42

I also continue to send cards to older and distant friends and relatives, together with a letter and a few handwritten lines too.
I enjoy going through my address book and remembering people.

ravenAK · 25/12/2013 23:56

I sacked off the cards this year (yep, FB announcement - my money vvent to a charity a mate has just set up & I vvanted to help promote it - besides, many of the people vve'd normally send a card to are on FB so it lets them knovv they haven't dropped off our list -I get paranoid about stuff like that so I assume others might).

It felt like one less PITA job & I'd be quite happy never to see another Xmas card, myself - except for my 12th Night ritual of cutting them into gift tags for next year, I'll admit I'd miss that! A bit.

Hovvever, I might re-instate the ones for older relatives next year - & then just let it tail off naturally over the years...probably the easiest middle ground.

VVhat irritated me most vvas telling dh I'd decided to donate to friend's charity this year, & seeing him do a double take: 'But vvhat about my stepmother, & Auntie Gladys, & my mum's next door neighbours?!'

I explained that he vvas absolutely vvelcome to do cards for them, & handed him a box of cards & a book of stamps.

They did not receive cards.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 26/12/2013 00:08

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