Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that not all mil's are evil.............

56 replies

CwtchesAndCuddles · 24/12/2013 13:55

mine is a terrible cook so I'm going to make the gravy and stuffing and take it with us for lunch - much nicer that paxo and bisto!!!

Everyone is happy - no offence has been taken, mil accepts she is a crap cook and prefers to let me do it!

I can just imagine some of the mil's mentioned on this forum not being as happy!!!

OP posts:
ChubbyKitty · 24/12/2013 14:16

Yanbu! Mine is a lovely womanSmile

She does keep bread in the fridge though. Nobody's perfect WinkGrin

80sdrummer · 24/12/2013 14:25

YANBU to be expressing an opinion.

My MIL is a cow though

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 24/12/2013 14:28

I like my mother in law just fine.

Sometimes I wonder if those who say their mothers in law are cows, ever think it might be them who is the cow instead.

I would think a nice normal person would have a nice normal relationship with their mother in law.

I may be delusional, though.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 24/12/2013 14:31

My Mil could come and live with us toorrow,
she is wonderful gentle kind and supportive.

As the mother of boys I am eternally aware that one day I may also be a MiL

waceystills · 24/12/2013 14:35

My MIL lives next door on the same plot of land. It is lovely and so is she.

She loves babysitting and she loves DS so much it is a joy to have her so close.

LimeLeaafLizard · 24/12/2013 14:36

YANBU. I like my mother in law and often think that there must be another side to the story on many MN MIL threads.

I agree that a nice normal person would have a nice normal relationship with another nice normal person.

Sometimes though that isn't possible. I don't get on with my mother as she is not quite normal and not always nice. She is MIL to my SILs and she has said some really bitchy things to them over the years.

DidoTheDodo · 24/12/2013 14:37

I'm a MIL twice over and I sometimes wonder if any of these threads are directed at me.

Nah....Of course not!

It can be hard to get the balance right though.

EmpressOfTheWellOfLostPlots · 24/12/2013 14:39

My MIL made our wedding dresses and has been known to climb trees with DD Smile.

HeisenbergsHat · 24/12/2013 14:39

YANBU - I love my exMIL, we were supposed to be going to her house yesterday but I was too ill to drive, so she came to collect the DC, took them to her house for the day and brought them home - driving over 200 miles in all. She also offered to collect me and let me sleep in her bed for the afternoon but I wasn't feeling up to it. She's a bloody lovely woman.

MrsLettuce · 24/12/2013 14:40

YANBU, I hope to be a 'good' MIL myself when the time comes.

That said, my MIL is a diagnosed narcissist and DP's MIL is, well, sweet, kind, utterly useless and rather annoying in her lethargy.

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 24/12/2013 14:42

My MIL is lovely, as mad as a brush and with totally different taste to me in just about everything but lovely. I'm lucky to have her and I hope I'm as good a DIL to her as she is a MIL to me. Smile

LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/12/2013 14:46

Well, it's not exactly a dramatic proposition, but YANBU.

However, I don't agree with tee. I know some MILs are a right pain (even if well meaning), even to otherwise nice people. My MIL is lovely but at times I feel bloody sorry for poor DH with his! Grin

WillSingForCake · 24/12/2013 14:46

Sometimes I wonder if those who say their mothers in law are cows, ever think it might be them who is the cow instead

This is v v true. And I know because sometimes I am guilty of it myself - I get so pissed off with my MIL, but when I'm calm & rational I realise it's me being intolerant & well a bit of a moody cow really. The MIL/DIL relationship seems the most tricky relationship of all!

My rule of thumb when getting irritated by my MIL is 'would I be so annoyed if it was my mum who had done/said that' and if the answer is no then I know I'm being an arse.

hotair · 24/12/2013 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 24/12/2013 14:49

Oh absolutely LRD. I am very sorry for my husband with his mother in law. She's a right cow who has been thisclose to being cut out of his life forever. Except when she's not.

billyokey · 24/12/2013 14:50

yanbu, my mother in law came round this morning and helped me clean the house top to bottom ready for Christmas. DP is working so her help was a godsend! she even took bathroom and kitchen and left me to do hoovering and the living room!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/12/2013 14:50

Ouch. Yes.

My mum isn't that awful, but it does make me aware that this is not just 'women hate other women' at all (much as it's often portrayed that way). Some people just don't play well with others!

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 24/12/2013 14:52

I did say 'nice normal people' hotair. So I'm not that delusional.

Of course, at the moment I'm also up to my ears in poo so my brain may be a bit fuzzy.

All I want for Christmas is a boy without an upset tummy.

LonelyShepherd · 24/12/2013 14:52

Mine means incredibly well, but we're soooooo different and she's very dependent on DH which I find quite draining. But the intentions are good. We're never going to be best buddies, but we're always polite.

Salmotrutta · 24/12/2013 14:52

Well, my MIL can be very difficult.

And no, it's really not all because I'm a cow because she is very difficult with everyone and has alienated many people.

That said, she is DHs mother and the DCs Gran so we get on with it - she does adore her Grandchildren even if she tries to control them and has always been generous to them all equally.

DalekInAFestiveJumper · 24/12/2013 14:53

My MiL is the greatest. Her MiL was a demon cow of a woman, so my MiL was determined that when her kids married, she was going to be extra careful not to be unpleasant to their spouses. I've always gone out of my way to return the favor in kind, and we have a great relationship.

Now, if my DH was asked, his story would be a hell of a lot different. My mother is toxic, judgmental, and just determined to make everyone else miserable.

phantomnamechanger · 24/12/2013 14:54

I live in fear of becoming a MIL to someone whose own mum has been disparaging of or had a bad experiences with her MIL and therefore expects the worst of me from the outset Sad

I want to be a good MIL, helpful & welcoming without being controlling or the like.
My own MIL is so lovely and gentle and kind and perfect it's annoying! I'm sure my kids prefer her to grumpy bossy mummy! (I know that's not really true but I do feel it sometimes)

MrsCosmopilite · 24/12/2013 14:56

Mine is lovely. We're having dinner with her and FIL tomorrow.
Have offered to cook and take stuff but they've refused, and just told us to turn up.

I know I'm a miserable cow from time to time though. Thankfully my DD is only 2.11 so I have time to work on it.

hotair · 24/12/2013 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSteptoe · 24/12/2013 15:10

My MIL's great. Not flawless, but great. Mostly because she has always taken the attitude, with DH's many old girlfriends and with me, that if her DS has chosen [x], then his choice is good enough for her. Magnificent attitude.