WIBU to let DH be embarrassed?

[LadyFlumpalot]

Basically I am fed up of being the one to always have to buy, wrap and remember the presents for his side of the family, usually last minute because despite nagging him he always "forgets".

Despite daily reminders to him all this week the presents and cards (that I bought) for his family remain untouched. When I reminded him last night he said "yeah, in a minute, I'm watching a film.

We are leaving for his parents house in an hour and I have a newborn to deal with.

Would it be really mean of ne to just not do it this year and let him be embarrassed for once? I've been coming to his rescue for every single birthday as well for the last 8 years.

Grrrrrr.

PMSL this really takes me back to the early days if my marriage. Unfortunately I was a victim of my own success. I'm very organised and like to plan well ahead, hubby isn't a planner and as such is fantastic at dealing with a crisis (that's what his job involves too).

So I picked up on doing things he could and should do, but would never have done as early as I did so I was actually responsible for training him to expect me to do everything so he never gave anything a second thought.

I then realised I'd created a monster and warned him he needed to take back certain tasks, then I'd let him fall on his arse! Fast forward to this year, the bastard had bought and wrapped all his pressies before I'd even started! Not fair

my DH was uncharacteristically communicative with me when he told me a few years ago that 'if you didn't nag, nothing would get done' but added that he would deny all knowledge if I reminded him he ever said it!

Never done presents for his family. Or cards either. He does presents himself, and I will help him choose but tHe rest is down to him.
Decided early on that I just wasn't going to take it on and stuck to it. Don't know why women do this.

Is it that you're sleep deprived and hormonal or that they're his fucking family and there is no vague reason why you should be doing it, especially considering you have a young baby!

The daft thing is, I really like shopping for presents and wrapping them up so I would have been quite happy to do it all - if he had just asked nicely and acknowledged that I was doing a favour, rather than just expecting me to do it.

Ahh well, hopefully this has taught him a lesson!

Oh, believe the fruitcake. There was once a famous occasion where we missed a ferry because it was suddenly critical that he change the spark plugs in the car.

Fruitcake! .

Ring the PILs & let them know you'll be late. Then back to bed. Or, buy the cake & make DH face the shame.

I do all the shopping for our family. Whether they are dps parents or my own. I also do all the wrapping. The only thing DP is responsible for is mine. It isn't a bother, he has input and if needed he would go out and get the gifts. I don't do it because I'm the women if the house but because it's a part I enjoy and whether it's his mum or mine I enjoy choosing, wrapping and giving gifts (even if my mum is always much more grateful than DPs)

I

Whoops!

Was going to say, he really is his own worst enemy, isn't he.

Seriously separated at birth!

Mine once started mowing the lawn about 5 minutes before we were due to go out to visit friends... Because it needed doing

Yes! Itsbiggerontheinside! That bloody lawn! It always needs mowing when we are in a rush!

Your DH isn't short, slim and slightly ginger strawberry blonde is he?

Um, he couldn't have taken the ingredients and baked it there?

I don't think any of my husband's family are getting cards, apart from the ones for his parents that the children have made. Like someone else up-thread, I work longer hours than DH and a couple of years ago I realised how mad it was falling in with the assumption that wives will do all this stuff. He did write cards the first year, doesn't seem to have bothered this year.

I have just packed off DH to mils with a box of cards. I have told him that this year he must write for his family, random neighbours of his mum and assorted ladies who claim to be his aunty despite no genetic link.

It feels good not doing it.

Get him to use his mobile phone and order all his family email Amazon vouchers!

I do it all , mostly. However, I enjoy it and he doesn't. I did bargain with him that if I ordered his mum's present then I got to order something I had wanted for a while at the same time

i rememberr the time we were meeting his family in the pub. I had packed for a baby and a toddler. (booster seat, bibs, bottles, (no breast feeding in front of fil) toys, snack for toddler, camera, spare clothes, nappies etc in the magic bag that always miraculously refilled itself)

he was in charge of the present for his family. got out the car, round to the front of the pub with most of the above. he remembered tht he hd not got the present. shouted at me for it and thrust the one thing he was carrying at me. not wanting to stand on the main road with aa toddler I went into the pub. toddler, buggy, big rrucksck, camera bag. his dad definitely noticed the inequality. and did help.

My DH is also bad for doing non-critical things at a busy time. We'll have friends visiting imminently and the house is a tip, sofas covered in toys and clothes to be put away and he'll be found in the garage organising his tools, or rearranging the loft.

We've been together ten years and at the start he was a typical male, didn't send cards, forgot his mum's birthday etc. I utterly refused to have anything to do with it. I'd sit down and write cards for my friends and family, organise my mum a nice mother's day gift and he would see me doing it. I'd suggest he might do the same and leave him to it.

Ten years later he remembers birthdays, posts Christmas cards and he actually took it upon himself to sort out DS's Christmas cards (in Reception).

They can do it.

We are on the road! 3 hours late. DH ended up knocking together some Chelsea Buns as a compromise (+ point - the man can cook beautifully).

Are the presents wrapped? :o

noblegiraffe your DH sounds like mine. When I was pg with DC2, he said he would decorate the box room for the baby. Lovely. What I didn't realise was that this would first necessitate the garage being cleared, the loft being boarded, the master bedroom being redecorated and his mother's house being completely rennovated (by him). All of these things absolutely had to be done first in preparation for doing the baby's room. I flipped at 37 weeks, had the biggest hissy fit of my life and the baby's room was finally done just before she arrived at 42 weeks

Well done op.
We are visiting FIL tomorrow who is hosting a buffet lunch for some of the family...dh has bought him nothing yet.

Not my problem.

Yay! You have made it out of the door!

(Shirt, slim and greying, as it goes! Very similar in many ways!!)

.

Any chance of you capturing the scene on film when he hands over the Chelsea buns?

Fruit cake/Chelsea buns. I have loved this thread. Thank you op.